Fallen out of love with Husband?
by bloominglotus 108 Replies latest social family
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beksbks
Dayum!
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bloominglotus
Hi tec, My children are 3 and 2-very young. Right now its a lot of stress in our relationship. His mom and brother in law is moving in and I am really not that thrilled about it. Really trying to have a positive attitude about it. But lets just say that both my mil and bil have some childish,selfish,vindictive ways. She lost her home and of course my bil was living at home. But the trip part about it is right now my bil at the moment is already staying w/ us because his mom kicked him out and she sort threw him on us. She was very manipulative about it too making my husband feel guilty for not taking his bro in. That right there pissed me off. And then finding out she's gonna stay w/ us was like this is too much... The times when he has been unfaithful was prior to marriage and I was really hurt by it. Sometimes I bring up the past b/c I feel like that pain left an indelible mark on my mind and heart. No matter how hard one tries to move on and truly forgive, when arguments arise, the past tends to overamplify the now. Truth is I believe that everyone is going to hurt u but u just have to find the ones worth suffering for.... Despite his struggling with PTSD I still see a beautiful person. He is a wonderful father,provides for his family...I feel in love with his mind he stimulated me intellectually and he still does sometimes...but as of lately I dont know if its the stress of up and coming move ins or what, he is really getting on my last nerve and Im starting to notice every flaw. He is very playful and I see the benefit of that whenever Im down or to liven up the mood but lately his playfulness has very irritating. Then I started asking myself 'Maybe Im too sensitive?"
Much thanks for your words. I have esp. taken to heart " I would suggest not spending time wondering if u would have done things differently or thinking about what might have been." Those doubts are certainly eating me up with doubt and regret....
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dysfunction
Burn the Ships- I hate io say it but "Burn the Ships you are a little off". No malice intended just being real.
Tec you gave some good advice
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JRK
A good book for you to read is "Too bad to stay, too good to leave." It helps you to quantify characteristics and judge whether you should stay or go.
JK
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Scully
BurnTheShips:
I'm trying really hard to give you the benefit of the doubt regarding your "Women are all whores" comment. Maybe you had a bad day, or a bad week, or an argument with Mrs. BTS. I don't know and unless you're prepared to explain yourself, we'll never know what brought out this kind of odious misogyny in someone I normally regard as extremely reasonable and level headed.
An apology is in order.
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dysfunction
Bloominglotus- Welcome I wish you the best. Also leave if he is putting his hands on you.. you are no ones punching bag. Call the hotline tell them about the physical abuse and they will find a place for u and help you eventually get your own apartment. If you can secretly record his verbal and physical abuse for evidence.. so it won't be he said, she said if you leave him instead of working it out.
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beksbks
An apology is in order.
You're right Scully. I'm sorry you somewhow got the impression that Burn has ever been extremely reasonable and level headed.
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JRK
Hang in there until you see his true colors.
JK
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