I've been outed... (page 3)

brotherdan

But as soon as my wife gets out of the hospital (and yes she's has been in since saturday), i will have my judicial meeting with the elders where I get to hear that fucking "apostate" word again. I don't know why that word hurts me so much. But it does. I used to call them "loser apostates". So not only have I gone through my wifes close death, but now my mama will never talk to me again. Nor will my daddy. They will be loyal to "Jehovan" to the day of their death. I've officially lost everything special to me. My wife said she will sue for sole custoday without visitation. I'm sure the courts won't uphold that. But it still hurts.

im stuck in

brotherdan I am so sorry for you. I hope everything will be ok and your wife wll get better. This has been one of the things I worry about with my wife myself. Keep the faith man. I and many others here will be thinking of you. If you want to talk PM me . stuck in

sd-7

You've got to be kidding me! DON'T GO TO THE JUDICIAL COMMITTEE!!!! Please!! You've got more urgent things to do! If she's trying to take the kids, then you need to start preparing for that. Remember, I had my judicial committee about one year ago. You are going to be speaking to three brick walls. Wasting your time and hurting yourself further and that's something you can't afford right now. Listen to me, from personal, RECENT experience--do not do this, man. Please.

--sd-7

brotherdan

But my babies need their mama. She is such a good mama besides being a JW. I can't rip them away from her. I, though, am a fucking loser. I will not take them away from her.

Nickolas

I'm not your buddy but here's the truth, Dan. They're hanging a trip on you and it is ludicrous to say that you in any way caused your wife's grand mal seizures. It doesn't work that way. What you might want to do right now is some research. Check out the Mayo Clinic website, for example, and I am certain you will find no reference implicating stress as a trigger. It doesn't alleviate the concern you have for your wife, but you and your alleged apostacy are not the problem. Anyone who tells you otherwise is on Mars.

Dan, with each passing hour your mind will become clearer. It feels like it, but it's not the end of your world. Focus on what is really happening, not what you perceive to be happening.

cofty

Daniel I am so sorry to hear what you are facing right now, I know exactly how it feels to watch a loved one have a grand mal siezure and it is absolutely terrifying. In my case nobody was blaming me for it though, that is just awful.

Be assured you are not in any way to blame, the cause of epilepsy is not well understood but I'm sure you can't cause them and in most cases can be well controlled with medication.

Once you know what you do about the organisation you can't unkonw those things, that's not your fault. Perhaps this cirisis will take a little time before you can find an understanding with your wife but it will get better or you will find strength to cope. She is bound to be very afraid as well.

I'm glad you are able to vent here, I've always found you to be passionate about your beliefs but also respectful. Hang in there.

sd-7

That's your decision to make, but if she ends up having a recurring problem with seizures, that creates serious implications for your children. She's going to need your help, whether she likes it or not. I guess I can't tell you anything useful about that, but I can tell you not to do the judicial committee.

You might have lost a major battle, and things will most certainly never be the same. But the war is not over and you are not a loser (this is ME saying this, and I can't believe I'm saying it). This situation is hell for you, but you can endure it. You must endure. Your thinking is in 'all-or-nothing' mode, and it's distorting the picture. You probably need some professional counseling to sort through this very difficult time. If you can make time for that, I'd recommend making it your first priority. You need to take care of your emotional well-being here.

-sd-7

tec

I agree. You're under no obligation to go to the jc committee. Tell them to show some of the compassion that Christ spoke of, and let you get yourself together after so much pain in your family.

You don't have to take your kids away from your wife in order to fight for your rights (and theirs) to be their father and to see them. Preparing for that does need to be a priority. Shift your focus, Daniel.

Get through today, as SD-7 said, and then get through tomorrow. Stop calling your wife, also. You need a little space there, I think.

(I'm not leaving the thread, but I have to go to work for a couple hours)

Tammy

brotherdan

You ARE my buddy Nikolas. We have had our heated debates, but I have never NOT considered you a friend and an extremely intelligent person. In fact I think there is a lot I can learn from you. I have just been an arrogant pig to you, and for that I say, "I'm sorry".

cofty

Daniel I haveto agree with comments above, there is nothing to be gained from putting yourself through a judicial, reserve your emotional energy.

I've been outed...

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