Right now I’m fading and haven't been in service for 5 months 0000 in for 16 years ministerial servant for about 8.5 years pioneered for 3 years around 1994-97 later auxiliary then around 2004 got back on pioneer list for about the same time became Elder for 5.3 years when I began reading books nothing apostate but then began searching apostate literature. I could ignore web sites like six screens and other apostates because u can tell when someone is just looking for attention and out to hurt or revenge. So I researched my research and found the lies in wt literature. What is my excuse for being lied to???????????
My opinion is for most descent human beings that may have life experience but not higher ed can here their message and well its appealing. I saw the shit in the world, and the things that happened in my life and again the message was appealing. The love bombing helped because I’m the type of person that love people and being part of this org put u in touch with plenty of people.
Now when I studied I studied fairly well only the material they gave me so the wt doctrine got imbedded in me early and I trusted them because I only thought they had all the right answers. I hated history so studying the wt history (Nah) I f u say so I believe u because U gave me no reason not to. Prophecy was something i hated and had lots of history that was mad complicated so I didn’t care If u say so i believe you though plenty of times I could not wrap my head around it. I commented on basically easy stuff that one could use in everyday life and was good at being loving to others cause that’s me..
Being an elder u can see things and wonder things a bit more as your info broadens. My wife who is a born in was not the most cooperative woman. I wanted us to be the perfect jw couple but she only did what she wanted. This I think began my slow rejecting, not trying so hard, not caring so much cause it my wife who thought she could tell me how to act and how to have proper edict, at time she pissed me off. As a witness elder I was hardly ever serious unless I had a part or was at the door. I always made my br/si laugh and enjoyed being with them and my wife made me feel like my fun loving personality irritated her. So she stated my demise
Began my study of history of jw and searched the web so many sites.
My conclusion is that they hold a tempting carrot
They use love for the most part well but have I have learned that not only in religion but in personal individuals and groups love still can be used to manipulate and in the religion most don’t try to do bad its control is from the top down. and used well and is beneficial to individual but for the fds/gb the benefit the most.
Disfellowshipping sometimes has its place but not to the extent that it separates families. I didn’t always see it this way I only saw from one side.
From the beginning of wt history till the time of this typing wt continues to hide what they do from most, but most like me really only has tunnel vision. But that is the nature of it all
I must admit my first cong made it difficult to grow spiritually and i move to another where there was plenty of love and most did thing well including the elders. I believe we have an exceptional hall as compared to some.
my reason then for fading is what I’ve learned I can’t take back I know too much and though I do think this religion has many good points to it I come to believe if there really is a god and if Christ is real we should imitate Christ to best of our ability but Christianity should not be organized like it is in large groups.
Anything done to big leaves room for corruption, and things will get out of control.
So my finally thought on me there is plenty of good but plenty of bad and the deception I am not willing to mix the two especially if the true god and Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit is behind this they’re making too many mistakes work to slow. So I try and fade if that don’t work u know the difficulties i can bring but I will only go to hall because I love the individuals not the org.
