by Philadelphia Ponos 116 Replies latest jw friends
I'm not going to judge you.....but I'm fascinated and curious:
What will you do when you find that slander is not only allowed, but takes place at the highest positions of authority?
What will you do when you find out many are alcoholics? Including many elders?
What will you do when you find out many elders deal with Internet porn addictions?
Those are just a few of the many questions I have for you......would love to see how you answer ;)
Just a little background to makes thing clearer. I originally left 3 years and 10 months ago. I left because of the idolatry of the Governing Body.
Pssst: Don't let Maze see this, will you? He views you as a typical victim at the mercy of bitter-spirited apostates.
BTW, Maze may be your model to follow: By all means go back, but quietly exert your area of independence where you see fit, just like Maze. You see, Maze knows full well how the GB views these sorts of forums - yet there he goes popping up every now and then, spouting off and then disappearing. Perfect. It's not just the churches of Christendom that house hypocrites. Maybe you could follow suit?
But honestly, PP, you're not a minor - you don't need our permission but many here can understand your what you say, which is a damn sight more than you'll find in your kingdom hall.
I don't want my advice to be viewed as if you are unhealthy mentally in any way, but perhaps you need to go see a counselor and get some therapy. You can talk about these social issues in more detail and also get a healthy perspective on life before committing to a possible dangerous and bad mistake of re-joining a cult again.
I would give the same advice to a Fundamental Mormon woman that just ran away from her husband and 10 other wives, and wanted to go back to that social circle again.
@Retro
I was originally planning on returning to a foreign language congregation to help me with my second language, but after I discovered the literature in the language I was learing is in PDF and MP3 format on JW.org, I no longer had a reason to return.
@daringhart13
If I just find 10 JWs to be friends with and the other 6,999,990 are complete jerks, it'll still be much better than my current situation.
PP, whatever makes you happy. I look at JW's the same way I look at most other religions, just with a little more cynicism. Knowing what you know about the religion, If you think you'll be happier going to meetings and fraternizing with JW's, more power to you.
If I just find 10 JWs to be friends with and the other 6,999,990 are complete jerks
What you fail to realize is that this is CONDITIONAL friendship, hun. They are not true friends. They will remove their friendship at the slightest smell of something "not right" with you and your stance regarding the GB. And, make no mistake, refusing to go in service, going to different congregations instead of settling in one, etc, are all red flags to a JW that you are "spiritually weak" and "dangerous association". So those 10 "friends" would drop you like a bad habit and pretend they never knew you to begin with. You really won't find anything better back inside the borg.
But truthfully, if you did go back, maybe it would solidify your need to make an eventual true exit. Maybe you just didn't have a good exit strategy to begin with. If you do go back, seek counselling anyway...fill your time with hobbies that interest you, maybe join a meetup group of people with the same interests. In other words, don't put all your eggs into the WTBTS basket... Make sure while you're going back that you set up a support system outside of the KH as well. Make friends with people. Chances are, if and when you exit again, they will be there for you.
Thanks, PP, now that I understand I'd agree with the majority here. Making friends is not easy for us all; I'm an introvert myself.
However, what Morbidzbaby said is very true. After many months of "studies" and converstaion, I regarded the jw ladies who visited as friends, but I was dropped as soon as they decided that I didn't make the grade, and it hurt.
So I'd say, take the harder road, join groups that share an interest with you - sport, hobby, education, whatever, and build your relationships slowly but steadily.
Best of luck however you decide, Retro
Hopefully you won't run into any of the jw child molestors, wife beaters and those who are living a double life. And on behalf of all the drinking, smoking, sex having, swearing blue collar types, don't let the door hit ya. As for me, I'd rather mingle with people who let you know what they're really about and not hiding disgusting secrets all in the name of protecting the Watchtower's fortune and reputation.
I do think it's interesting that you would write about your decision here, knowing probably quite well what the reaction would be. I wouldn't be happy either in that work environment you describe. Everything you had as a Witness (friendship, studying the Bible) you can still have as a non-Witness.
My good friend returned to the JWs for almost exactly the same reasons that are now pushing you back to the organization, and it was extremely sad to watch. I hope you'll think about this some more. In the meantime, why not get a new job? If you're talking entry level, some jobs that come to mind are retail, restaurants, etc. Perhaps you could get an administrative assistant position somewhere and have a more traditional, uptight (in a good way) environment.
JW friends aren't friends. If you personally threaten the salvation of anyone of them, you will be thrown under a bus tootsweet. The average JW is mostly concerned about him/her self. If he or she thinks for one second they will lose out on everlasting life because of associating with you, your friendship will evaporate immediately. And this can happen over something as simple as you miss some meetings or you don't obey some banal, petty rule and you get labled spiritually weak. I figure no friends are better than "friends" who will back stab you in a nano second.
