by thinker 87 Replies latest watchtower bible
Enlightened Brother Larc,
Further proofs of our "truth": Gen.1:3-4: "And God proceeded to say, "Let the LIGHT (not heavy!) come to be." After that God saw that the LIGHT (not heavy) was good, ..."
ps
Once we have 12, we can form the GB. I here by appoint you chief scholar and interpereter of the Leaner Day Saints.
thinker
We will have to continue to lose weight until that Thanksgiving feast.
"But the path of the righteous one is like the bright light(either thinker or Larc?) that is getting lighter and lighter until the day is firmly established." Prov 4:18
Brother Thinker,
I am so deeply proud, yet duely humbled by your appointmentship of me as "chief scholar and interpreter." I have been searching the scriptures, the New York Times, and my card board boxes full of books as a true scholar should. On my quest for truth I have discovered a comforting new truth. I hope you are ready for this, but I do believe that you do have enough of a spiritual foundation, so let me proceed.
I have some good news and some bad news. Yes, my friends there is a Hell, but don't dispair, you are sent there if you are fat to be in a heat treated room to work up a sweat and lose weight, then after you have done that, you are sent off to a better place.
God is merciful, you know.
EEKS!
If I join, do I have to change my son's nickname?
He is Fatman!
mommy
Mommy,
I'm not going to ever againjoin any group that makes you sweat before they let you go to the good place! I can go jogging and sweat on my own!
I wouldn't be in a rush to change nickname - will probably change on its own in good time. Besides, such names give you and yours something to chuckle over in the future - which comes sooner than we think it will.
Thinker's Wife: It has occurred to me that when we do meet we are going to be akin to Dorothy and Sophia on the "Golden Girls" - you the tall red-head daughter, and me the red-head short (but not so skinny) Ma. Definitely some possibilities for fun if we have a glass of wine and get in a silly mood.
Brothers and sisters,
I do believe I have trouble in my own household. My dear wife does not want to go into the swet box in order to go to a better place and she talks to you about jogging and sweating. That woman has never jogged a day in her life. Oh me, Oh my, what to do, what to do. I just have to remember one thing that the greatest Baptist preacher of all time, Billy Graham could not convert his own wife. She was Prespeterian. Lord forgive me but I could spell the name of that last a fore mentioned religion. After I get over my grief in my own household, I will be back to give another dose of spiritual truth.
Flock .... Say Ahmen.
Oh, by the way my next sermon will be on the subject of luve and respect. Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of Heresy of the Month.
Thinker,
Thank you for your scriptural support, with Gen. 1: 3 and 4 about the light and not the heavy. Now, I have discovered another important scripture. This very important scripture is just before the one you quoted. It is important becaues it proves beyond question that it is all right to watch and even play baseball. This indisputable fact is part of the new light and a new addition to our growing religious heritage. In Gen. 1:1 it says, "In the Big Inning." Break out the brewskies and enjoy.
I still haven't got to my sermon on luve and and respect, but I will soon.
Dear Elder Larc,
I am most upset by the uprising in your household. Suggest you take corrective measures immediately. Remember "a happy wife makes a happy life" (see Leaning Tower, issue 1 01/01).
I on the other hand have excellent news. We have our FIRST convert!!!
Sister TW was baptised on 01/17/01 in the traditional ceremony of the communal bath in the oversized tub; followed by the usual post-baptismal celebration.
Keep up the great work on the translation.
thinker
Thinker,
Or should I call you stinker.
I think everything will work out all right, because even thought we have some doctrinal differences, she loves baseball as much as I do, and now that I have scriptural proof, we are going for the gusto, baseball wise.
*** NEWS FLASH ***
As you know, ANY member of the congregation can get "New Light". Well, sister TW had a vision. In it, the Great Is suggested that "since each day should be a celebration of life, maybe we'd like to do a daily baptism". Sound's good to me.
Let's be sure and note this in next month's "Leaning Tower", don't forget to emphasize that this is ONLY a suggestion and, of course; those who wish to do their "leaning" in the shower are perfectly fine in doing so.
yours,
Thinker
Co-founder and CEO
Leaning Tower Bath and Shower Society
