You Might be a Jehovah's Witness if . . .

by sizemik 57 Replies latest jw friends

  • androb31
    androb31

    If it makes you feel good about yourself when you place a washtowel magazine with a homeless, hungry person on the street instead of giving them a few bucks or buying them a meal....

    If the word "publisher" makes you think of someone knocking on doors....

    If all of your "family days" and "family get togethers" are a few days after the major holidays (Thanksgiving, Christmas...) and have all the trimmings (Turkey, stuffing, gifts...) but you convince yourself there is no correlation.

    If you believe it's better to celebrate "the day of ones death" instead of their birthday......

    If your first car is a 4 door grandma car so you can use it in "field service" and appear spiritual.....

    If the word "apostate" sends chills down your spine....

    If "Nisan 14" is part of your vocabulary....

    If you've ever used the word "happifying" in a sentence....

  • dyakoub
    dyakoub

    If you found yourself confused when your history teacher said "587".

  • Think About It
    Think About It

    If you've ever turned yourself in to a committee of elders for privately masturbating.....you might be a Jehovah's Witness.

    If you've known what bestiality was since the age of 7.....you might be a Jehovah's Witness.

    If you know that 7 times equals 2,520......you might be a Jehovah's Witness.

    If you can name the lintage from Adam to Abraham, but can't even name your own great-grandfather......you might be a Jehovah's Witness.

    Think About It

  • neverscreamagain
    neverscreamagain

    You taped WT and Awake magazines to the inside of your car when traveling to assemblies so as to be readily identified by others on the road doing the exact same thing.

  • biometrics
    biometrics

    Whenever "Babalyon" is mentioned, you immediately think of non-JW's Christian groups.

  • dyakoub
    dyakoub

    ... IF you know the true pagan prigins of Mother's Day.

  • biometrics
    biometrics

    Your first romantic dinner date consisted of three people.

  • Pams girl
    Pams girl

    You are a man, and everytime you pass a property with dirty windows, you have a sudden urge to wash them

    You think the horizontal tango is a dance from Spain

    You are confident in the knowledge that none of your best crystal will ever break because you dont toast

    You are worried that you are supposed to be the happiest person on the planet, so how come everyone else is having all the fun?

    You have lots of late night "emissions" because you dont masterbate

    You are a woman and you have a fabulous collection of special teatowels that you utilise for headcoverings

    Paula x

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX
    You have lots of late night "emissions" because you dont masterbate

    Ewwwww!!! (But - sadly, true)

    You Might be a Jehovah's Witness if . . . ...you don't know your blood type.

  • No Room For George
    No Room For George

    This thread is classic!@

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