Cyber-Bullies (page 8)

Chemical Emotions

Still thinking is spot on.

And let's not forget that being exJWs, many of us will have a tendency (me included) to make judgemental, sometimes unkind or rash comments. It's what the religion fosters; negativity.

cyberjesus

the only way to elevate the level of discussion is to make sure that people know to attack the ideas and no the posters

I can only elevate the level "I" argue.

Think of a little dog, bitting a big lion. barking barking biting.. the lion looks at the little dog and just goes back to sleep. When we use name calling of any sort is just a proof of their inability of handling the matter in an effective way.

should we restrain the little dogs that bark? sure if you want to... or we could just look at them and go back to sleep.

talesin

There is a difference between a barking dog and a below-the-belt dirty fighter who uses poison arrows shot in the back of the unsuspecting and innocent party.

There's lots of barking dogs on JWN, they are appreciated, tolerated and/or ignored.

A lot of barking and snapping on political threads, as I already mentioned, but that's more a thrust and parry with foils than anything.

I suggest taking a look at the Forum Announcements from the beginning .. start scrolling through the Topics at page 2 ... you will see polite request Topics from Simon asking that posters be civil .... Then, Someone is deleted ...... an easy look-through of that history clearly shows the cycle of what happens to the few real bullies that pass through from time to time. And I stress few.

t

** it's not an easy forum to run, support, information, and some protection required of those who are still hesitant, and easily bruised. that's really my end point ...

cyberjesus

a below-the-belt dirty fighter who uses poison arrows shot in the back of the unsuspecting and innocent party.

And that is my point. it doesnt matter. its just an internet forum. It doesnt matter what other people say. Who cares? Am I gonna base my perception of me on the comments of others? you know who you are, what people think is only what is in their heads. And if comes out smelling like crap, its because probably is crap. and It came from their own brain. not yours. That is unless you decide to validate their comments by banning them or censoring them.

It doesnt matter if I come telling everybody that the moon is really made of cheese and I call everybody here idiots, imbecils or whatever for not accepting that fact.... the question is... is the moon really made of cheese? because if it isnt all my comments do nothing more than bury me more in the sand.

Bungi Bill

cantleave,

You have a PM.

Bungi Bill.

Bungi Bill

Further to the matter of dealing with bullies; I long ago learned (and by the the hard way) that the only way to deal with this abomination is to face the #%$&*>ds down!

As a manager of a roughneck crew in an isolated area of a violence-prone Third World Country, I frequently had to deal with bullying in the workplace. "Ignoring" the matter - and thereby hoping the bully would lose interest and go away - was never going to work! Rather, the perpetrator had to be called to account and faced down:

- on one memorable occassion (not!), "facing down" included the business-end of an M-16 rifle. Briefly, when the culprit was called into my office to receive a formal written warning, he decided that my skull was going to look better with a three pound hammer driven through it. Somehow, the duty security officer and I managed to disarm this #@$%; then get him to leave the plant - after which the gates were securely locked behind him. He then took to the bush, went on the rampage, and at one point the police had him actually lined up in the sights of an M-16.

So..... on this discussion board, when somebody attempts to bully me (as has happened) , I will likewise face them down:

- and without apology, call them barking bloody mad to their face; if that is what they are being.

Bill.

Chariklo

I think you're right, Bill.

Maybe real bullying is when the bullied person feels so cowed that they can't do that. Arguing isn't bullying. Not in my view, anyway.

cantleave

Did you send it Bungi Bill? I can't see one from you....

Lady Lee

cyberjesus

I wish everybody could be like you and just let it run off their back. But many people aren't. I didn't go to school as a JW except for one year when I was 12. But I definitely knew kids after that who were JWs and were bullied because of it. So for many being bullied goes a long way back into their childhood.

IO don't venture into the political threrads unless someone asks me to check something. But one thing bothers me greatly inthe real world is that in the past few years I hear party members attack the other party member personally rather than talk about what they are briunging to the table. I don't want the Liberals telling me how awful the Conservatives are. I want to knwo what the Convervatives stand for. I don't want the NDP party raking the other party leader over the coals or them tearing down what the other party stands for. I want to know what the NDP stands for. I see this more and more here in Canadian politics and i see it in the American system too. They no longer seem to want to address the problem unles sit is to tear down what the other guy says he will do. It just feels so wrong to me. If I thought about it what they are doing is a sort of bullying.

I see the same thing here. Heaven forbid a JW wander in here and try to tell us JWs are right. We know better. But instead of providing proof we attack the JW. Is that really the way to get him or her to read what we are really saying? Not that there isn't value at letting lurkers see for themselves that the JW reasoning on most thing leaks like a sieve. but do we have to be bullies about it? cj said earlier that when a person bullies another it says far more about the bully than it does about the victim. He is right. Why would we want to lower ourselves to the old JW level that we were once at when we were JWs?

Phizzy

Good points and a good thread Lady Lee, and thanks for all you do on here.

I think generally we do a fairly good job of policing ourselves , and of offering support to those who find a harsh response to their views difficult to take. We sometimes have to point out to them that such is not a personal attack upon them, just on their views, which is what a Forum is all about.

I think we should be quick to call to account anybody who is veering toward Cyber-bullying, but not too quick.

I saw someone who had simply posted that the poster before was an idiot. I thought that was a bit unecessary at first, he should attack the argument,not the poster, but actually he was attacking the argument !

The guy was an idiot, posting huge long posts that did not answer points made by others, and worse, showed the poster had not read them ! he was verging on being a Troll.

So, please let us have a fair swipe at those people who deserve it, and please let's not stifle the freedom of speech and thought we have on here.

Cyber-Bullies

Share this