Cyber-Bullies

by Lady Lee 115 Replies latest jw friends

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    I was bullied as a kid. Had low self-esteem, little confidence, was very sensitive, easily intimidated. Some of these issues still surface from time-to-time.

    However, it's being on DBs over the years that helped me develop a thick skin. Oh the insults I'd get sometimes! I used to shake when reading a hateful reply! Now I usually take insults with a large pinch of salt - as the last recourse of a person clean out of cogent arguments.

    There has to be good judgment when pushing an argument or question. When does pressing for an answer become bullying or stalking? When is the right time to let it go and allow the opponent to save face or have a more gracious exit from the discussion? It's sometimes difficult to gauge when you smell blood and want to follow through to the kill.

    I think name-calling can be funny if done judiciously, and provide light relief in a dull or stale discussion, as long as it done more slapstick-style than with malice. And the giver should be willing to take a few themselves, hey? Generally, the Golden Rule should be the ethic.

    On the other hand, arrogant, dense, stuffed-shirts are prime targets and deserve all they get IMHO (a few names readily come to mind - thinking in line with Bungi Bill's post #478).

    My $0.02.

  • HintOfLime
    HintOfLime

    Heh.. I've been on forums where bullying really was an issue - where there was outright hate/intollerance between large percentages of the participants (heh, go to any game or anime forum where "furries" are present and watch the insults, intollerance, and unwarrented accusations fly!)

    This forum is pretty gosh-darn tame in my opinion. It would seem to me that "bullying" is the exception, not the norm here.

    Having run forums myself, there are moderators that are "mods in title" and then there are moderators that engage with the community and lead the way setting the standards for the forum. I can't help but feel that too few people are engaged in this second type of moderation here, and I think the cracks are beginning to show from it.

    - Lime

  • ziddina
    ziddina
    "...saves me from one more night of zid trying to find 100 ways to kill me..." Lady Lee, post #17007 [how fitting!] page 4

    Curses!!!

    My eeeee - vil plan has been foiled again!!!

    But give me time...

    Hee hee heee heee!!

  • sabastious
    sabastious

    Zid, you do bully people, but only with those foam noodles used in water aerobics.

    -Sab

  • ziddina
    ziddina
    "...But I also recognise the fact that some people that I considered a bit 'bullyish' when I first joined, have my utmost respect now. They challenged me, sometimes by the points they made, or just through frustration and anger, ..." Still Thinking, post #4310, page #4

    Ah, that part....

    "some people that I considered a bit 'bullyish' when I first joined, ... through frustration and anger.."

    Would be me...

    Zid

  • ziddina
    ziddina
    "Zid, you do bully people, but only with those foam noodles used in water aerobics...." Sab, above

    Crud...

    I don't know whether to agree with you, or point out that I'm actually coming after you with steel sabers and barbed-wire goads, only to get in trouble with Lady Lee...

    Decisions, decisions....

  • Londo111
    Londo111

    It is hurtful to have one's honesty questioned, but I'm not going to name names. It is better to turn the other cheek.

    However, I know a person, online or offline, I don't know, God knows, was caught up to the third Internet and heard cyberbullying that must not be uttered. ;)

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    LOL zid...you know I love you....but...yeah

    (however, twas not you alone)

    Lady Lee...the point that stands out to me that you keep making is you keep comparing us to children. We are not. I abhor children being bullied. Both my son and daughter were bullied at school and it is very upsetting to live through.

    Childhood bullying is very different from discussions on a forum like this though. We willingly give our opinions and expect replies...and if we are honest with ourselves, we expect replies that don't agree with what we are saying. A child being bullied has no choice in the matter. They are bullied regardless of whether they want to interact or not. In fact, people seek them out to bully them when they don't wish to have any type of communication at all.

    As for politics, I would argue that politicians have always been childlike in their interactions. The game of politics is brutal, and they will stop at nothing to disarm and bring down their opponent if they are perceived as a threat. The rest of the time they just pick away at each other like vultures waiting for another kill.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Re being Child like. There are many threads on here about people's arrested social development. This is not an average discussion board. Some members are more vulnerable, in a child-like way, and can be easily bullied.

  • talesin
    talesin

    Let me put it this way. These people are part of my tribe,,, we are good, bad and ugly. It's not yahoo, or some other place-without-a-name. It's a place of many things, but above all, a place for folks to find their way out of a cult, be that through shared experience, historical knowledge, or social growth. It's not 'every person for themselves', to me. That is fine for anyone else to feel, but it's not how I see this community.

    t

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