Cyber-Bullies

by Lady Lee 115 Replies latest jw friends

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    I see your point talesin...but you have to admit that you yourself have had little tolerance for some opinions that don't agree with yours. We all have at some point or another. One of the things we learn here is how to grow up emotionally. And we don't learn that by being treated as children.

    I have never seen this discussion forum as a free for all...there is a lot of support here. And there are disagreements. I know I've learnt a lot about how to disagree with others without getting upset. I still have a way to go when it comes to getting my ideas/point accross without offending anyone. Most of us do. But, I appreciate the opportunity to be able to do that without being warned all the time.

    I think most of us recognise the pain in others. We recognise the reactions, We recognise the inability to concede a point. And we learn from it. We learn from our inabilities and we learn from watching others. We grow as individuals and we grow as a group. If we stifle free speach and try to control conflict to the point where we are afraid to say anything for fear of being warned, we will learn nothing.

  • tec
    tec

    I haven't read anything other than the OP yet, but I didn't want to get sidetracked so as to forget to say this:

    Awesome post, Lady Lee. Well said.

    Peace,

    tammy

  • cyberjesus
    cyberjesus

    Treat people like you expect them to act. Treat them like children and they will behave as such. Treat them like adults and they will behave likewise.

    there are no real bullies here. Someone comes here and all they can do is write words in an anonymous optional environment.

    People only have power over you if you give it to them. By taking that power away from people you do them a disfavor.

    We all have the power over ourselves, that is, unless we give it someone else, or somebody here does not allow us to take charge of our power.

  • Bungi Bill
    Bungi Bill

    cantleave,

    I have re-sent that PM to you, successfully this time!

    Bill.

  • panhandlegirl
    panhandlegirl

    Lady Lee, Excellent post and well written. I wanted to post earlier but was at work all week-end. I am new to this site and am just beginning to get to know the posters. I see that there are a variety of beliefs expressed on this site; some are surprising beliefs. There is nothing I enjoy more than a good debate. I find there is a lot for me to learn. I don’t think I engage in cyber-bulling or any type of bulling. I don’t enjoy being mean to others. I usually ignore bullies but I do think that a person should defend themselves and/or call out a bully when they attack you for no reason. If a person does not agree with your view, they can disagree or attack your view but it is not nice to attack a person you don’t even know. In real life, in my line of work, I see a lot of bulling. I was the target of much bulling when I first started on my job. I just ignored it until I had my fill. I reacted like Ralfie in the “The Christmas Story.” Now most bullies leave me alone as they know I will not put up with it. As for bullies on this site, I have not seen many. I see some posters know each other quite well and can get in heated discussions but that’s okay so long as they don’t attack each other personally. That brings the discussions to a low level and they are no longer interesting. I never sought support from any other XJW after leaving the organization. I stumbled on to this site after searching the web just to see if anyone was out there. The reason I was looking is because I realize no one but another XJW can understand what we have experienced, especially those of us who are born-ins or were in at such a young age, we have no memory of any other way of life to fall back on.

  • talesin
    talesin

    You are right, still. More later, but I am opinionated. I try to stifle it, but .... ;)

    When I realize that I am being intolerant, or get called out on it, I apologize. So, to you, I am sorry. Thank you for letting me know to take a look in the mirror.

    If someone sends me a pm because they feel I have been obnoxious, I correspond with them in a reasonable fashion, and have no problem stating my regrets publicly. That's a given. I'm not perfect.

    My philosophy of tolerance is a life choice. I do eff up.

    My exceptions are (at least what I can think of at this moment, but I am full of contradictions at times, I know ...) :

    Zero tolerance for child abuse, and those who foster an attitude that it doesn't exist.

    Zero tolerance for having beliefs rammed down my throat (in my personal life, which is why I usually abstain from religious discussions in a public forum).

    Zero tolerance for John Lennon haters.

    ~just threw that one in for good measure

    When I see someone who is fragile, will I try to change, what I perceive, is a bullying situation? Yes.

    If I think someone is being passive-aggressive and playing the victim, and disrupting most of the threads I try to participate in, yes, I may express my viewpoint. That's all it is, and I realize that everybody has one. ! :D

    When someone tells me I am being overbearing, do I listen? I believe so. I am hearing you right now, and with the full knowledge that I can be opionated. And you are letting me know that sometimes, I come on too strong. Heard and acknowledged. :))

    Still, I believe, as I said, this is my tribe. My history with this board is recent, compared to many others. There were many differing opinions, and oh, flame wars before my time, that would curl your ears (and mine, too! :D). And the 2004 US election year? If you want some entertaining reading, go back and read threads from those years. Honestly,,, you will laugh, you will cry ... you will beat your head up against a brick wall! (reminds me of a gif that's going viral on f/b of a woman beating her head on a brick wall).

    Yes, we fight, and politics is a dirty game, so heck, why not enjoy the theatre of it? I finally get it! ( drr, I'm just a CDN ! )

    Let's not forget, though, that for some folks, JWN is the only family they have. Or if they are contemplating leaving the Tower , ,the only place they have to turn right now.

    In the long run, I'd rather eat crow for occasionally coming on too strong (because I feel passionately about safety), than letting this place get like all the other places I tried to discuss art, politics, books, and music ... a hunting ground for aresholes, sexual predators and arm-chair philosophers.

    Thanks, still thinking, for being a straight-shooter. That is one of the qualities I

    And to all, if you love to lurk, I realize this may all seem like drama. It's not; at least not in a staged way.

    Perhaps, some of us choose to participate so that you can see how the Truth TM really affected our lives.

    xo to all

    tal

    ** good-nite, john-boy! **

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    Thanks, talesin, for being a straight-shooter. That is one of the qualities I about you too.

    Better to screw up I say...than not say anything at all. If we don't take risks and say what we think we eat ourselves up emotionally. So, we sometimes come across as arses...I can live with that. I learn best from my own errors. Needless to say...I have learnt a LOT here...LOL

  • talesin
    talesin

    I have learnt a LOT here...LOL

    Me, too!

    still thinking ... thank you for being my teacher.

    t

  • talesin
    talesin

    I wish I was clever at posting gifs, or pics, ,,

    come on, peeps ... :))

  • still thinking
    still thinking

    I think this is what MrsJones calls a kumbaya moment

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