Wait, you've been awake and remained in for 16 years, or you've been in for 16 years total, and only recently woken up? I can't imagine what could possibly make someone stick around for that long if they're awake. All the wasted time, the implicit support by your mere presence, etc would drive me insane well before that.
I'm my favorite type of JW - Double Life
by thedepressedsoul 51 Replies latest watchtower bible
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Magwitch
Before I left JW land, I confided to a number of my married female friends that I was getting huge bills from the phone company for #800...porn (thanks to the activities of my elder husband.) Every sister I confided in told me their husband was enjoying the pornography industry also. Most of these sisters were elder's wives. -
OrphanCrow
I also feel hypocrisy is needed/required when getting out of or dealing with this religion. If you're not willing to accept that, it's going to be a lot harder.
I rejected hypocrisy and that is why I left. I didn't want to be hypocritical - I wanted to truly exist, not be an actor in somebody's else's script. I realize that it is a process to 'get out' but getting out means just that - getting out. Your ass must be getting sore from sitting on the fence.
What is 'a lot harder' is to continue to be dishonest - it takes a toll on your personal identity issues - hypocrisy is dishonest - both to yourself and others. Recovery is dependent upon honesty.
The situation you describe is selfish - it is an attempt to retain control, not just of yourself but also of the people around you.
Getting out does not require hypocrisy - it requires courage.
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thedepressedsoul
Every elders meeting and ministerial meeting the CO touches on porn. He even took a moment of silence for anyone to come forward that have viewed these things. A lot of men in positions were squirming in their seats haha. Talk about awkward!
And I've been awake for about 16 years.
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thedepressedsoul
Orphan, I congratulate you on your courageous stand and that you are able to see your own courage and un-hypocritical qualities. It's not for me though. And my ass is quite comfortable, thanks for your concern though.
Am I dishonest with myself if I'm honest that I'm dishonest?
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OrphanCrow
Orphan, I congratulate you on your courageous stand and that you are able to see your own courage and un-hypocritical qualities. It's not for me though. And my ass is quite comfortable, thanks for your concern though.
Thank you. Yes, I strive to be non-hypocritical. It is a quality that I value. Courage is an easier quality to pursue. I don't have to strive for that one - maybe it is in my genes.
I am happy to have met you, though - it interests me that there are so many people walking around with masks on and it is not often that people who engage in hypocritical behavior and dishonesty are so open about it. For that, I congratulate you.
No doubt your ass is quite comfortable - from reading the above posts, 16 years of building up a callous on that part of your anatomy would give you a lot of padding.
Good luck. And may those around you never have to confront the reality that they have been interacting with someone who doesn't even exist.
I wish you the best.
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thedepressedsoul
Thanks Orphan, I'm an interesting person, what can I say. I feel bad for those that are consumed and are shaped by man made words.
We're all hypocrites. Most haven't realized it yet or can't admit it. When you realize that all of these "bad" words have good and useful traits and vice verse, you'll be better off. You'll be more balanced, in control and equal then you could ever have imagined.
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Slidin Fast
The thing about hypocrisy is that it is almost impossible to be a practicing JW without being a hypocrite. The line is so thin and so red that it is impossible not to cross it. The result is constant guilt, fervent prayer for forgiveness and the knowledge that if you haven't confessed to the priest/elder your prayers are wasted.
Yes, that knowledge, freeing yourself from the guilt is the first step to mental health and balance. I think that that frame of mind is a necessary stepping stone to being out, happy and healthy.
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thedepressedsoul
Great point Slidin! As a JW you can't do holidays, oral, yoga, color runs etc... because of pagan origins. Yet, you can do most of the traditional celebrations in a wedding including rings. Yet, all of that stuff has pagan origins!
I'd like to also add that it's impossible to live life without being a hypocrite and most other bad and good traits as man puts it. Honestly, the quicker you realize you have all of these traits at your disposal and you can choose what aspects to apply in different situations, you'll truly be free.
In chess, who do you think will win, the man who only sees the good moves, or the player that sees both good and bad moves for both sides and is able to discern which one needs to be played in that situation?
The religion does display hypocrisy traits. Even more than that they are excellent cherry pickers!
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talesin
Hi, thedepressedsoul.
My best friend growing up is a double-lifer. I have never understood how a life of deceit can be fulfilling. Always looking over your shoulder, having to have a good memory, hahaha! because you would always be in danger of being caught in a lie.
Truth be told, I resented that person for a long time, because they had their family and I did not have mine. It's funny, because that person was a speed freak in the 80s had a child out of wedlock, and well, a lot of shit that I think is okay - but I got DF'd and lost all my family for what? Playing 'doctor' with my best friend ....Eventually, I grew up and realized that my double-lifer friend had their own issues to deal with, and I had no reason to be resentful. We all choose our own path, and hell, that friend never did anything to *me*, they just made the choice to do what was necessary to keep in the family.
Power to ya! And, well, as to the consequences --- your screen name says it all.
xoxo