SHUNNING- Oregonian Article-HUGE!

by messenger 104 Replies latest jw friends

MrMoe

As a teen, I remember over dosing on aspirin because of fear of being disfellowshipped. I was reproved instead, but still treated like a disease. The disfellowshipping that followed was even worse.
What is the worst fear of a teen Jehovah's Witness? To become disfellowshipped or even reproved. To loose your friends and family member's that do not live with you. How even more so when a marriage is involved.
I know of too many countless stories of young kids taking their lives over this religion. It is more than shunning. It is being forced to shut yourself off from the world itself. So, you cannot talk to non-Jehovah's Witnesses and you cannot talk to Jehovah's Witnesses, who do you turn to in time of turmoil? I was told when I was disfellowshipped by the elders in my congregation I was disfellowshipped for keeping bad association. I would not be reinstated unless I cut off all ties with "the world." So I had no friends. Nobody. And my parents were a daily reminder of the fact that I was "no good trash." And the simple fact was, I was just a kid who did the things kids do. Instead of treating me with love, I was cast out and left on my own. No friends, nobody talk to.
That religion, it disgusts me. It causes so much pain. It messes with some people's lives to extent that they do not know how to move on. They NEED to be exposed on a VERY GRAND SCALE.
Farkel

Hey! They quoted me! They're definitely reading this site!
"Now anti-Witness Web sites are abuzz with accusations. "Who in their right mind would ever want to stay in this horrible, horrible, hateful religion?" one posting reads."

> http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=23910&site=3
Farkel
bluesapphire

This article is a travesty! Totally irresponsible reporting. It was by no means "balanced." It painted the JW congregations as clean, moral, upright societies who have the right to simply dismiss anyone who doesn't want to conform and they are free to come back if they want to.
It never went into the fact that the person first has to "prove" their innocence in a tribunal made up of monkey-brained janitors. Then it didn't mention that if you are one of the unfortunately non-golden-children-of-elders and ANY ELDER on the committee has it against you, you have lost before you started. Then they fail to say how it can take up to a year and even more and even forever of living a clean life before they will reinstate you.
The WTS dfing has NOTHING - N.O.T.H.I.N.G. to do with Catholic excommunication. I left the Catholic Church to become a witness. Never was shunned and was always shown love and respect by my family.
Then (I could go on and on) they present the picture that those who leave do so because they are not following "bible" laws. We all know that is A TOTAL LIE!
I am going to go throw up and then I'm going to come back and tell you all what else is wrong with this outrage of an article.
Blue ... walks away spitting!
Yadirf

Dutchie
but simply because one ceases to any longer believe that the witnesses have the truth. If you voice that belief you are disfellowshipped and shunned.
Although I know it wasn't your intention, you did a excellent job of showing the justification for the policy of "disfellowship" (as the article called it).
1) You mentioned that "one ceases to any longer believe that the witnesses have the truth".
2) You mentioned the desire to "voice that belief", meaning that you want others in the Congregation to know that you developed the belief that the witnesses don't have the truth.
Of course everyone has the right to do what you mentioned in #1 above. But I'm amazed that you think you've got the right to carry through with #2.
I stand firmly behind the WTS policy of disfellowshipping any member who is determined to disturb the peace of the Congregation by insisting they have the right to voice their conflicting beliefs amongst other members in an attempt to draw those members away from the faith. Those groups of people referred to as "Congregations" were formed under the direction of the WTS, not any individual such as yourself. Neither you nor any other disgruntled member has the right to plunder the work of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. Get used to it, because it's a FACT. Another "fact" is that many like you who have chosen to leave and that would like to draw others out with them have even gone so far as to abandon all belief in God and the Bible. Yes atheists are indeed miserable, even though they won't admit to it, and they crave company.
Yadirf
Daniel 11:35 ... a KEY prophecy that must be fulfilled before the "time of the end" gets underway.
openminded

Pardon the repost but:
I was absolutely sickened by that article and that
situation of the Bryants. The title pushed it over
the edge. I can just see those witnesses "struggling"
to understand what went so wrong with a most likely
good wholesome nuclear family. Bastards! Although
what the dad did was dead wrong, I know for a fact
that his final reasoning may have been this:
"I have had taken away everything that was dear to me.
My wife is shunned in public, my kids arent allowed
to play with the same kids they played with for years,
My parents have done to me what feels like a
figurative prolonged abortion. Oh well, the bible
says the wages sin pays is death. This might be all
my fault. If my family dies, we are forgiven, Yeah,
forgiven...that would be wonderful. I love my
family."
So he kills all, hoping that this final act will pay
for all the emotional bull shit inflicted on his
curious mind.
And his relatives most likely figured he was a bad egg
after all, never really had the witness thing in his
heart, and then proverbally fell by the wayside. So
they "struggle". Well struggle on you unloving
bastards. You are the ones who planted these seeds
that grew into weeds. Mourn "your" loss. Forget to
think about any wrong you have committed to lead this
sad, sad story of your relative to his morbid end.
And whatever you do, dont even attempt to see him in
that paradise that you are certain is eminent for
righteous people like yourself. Finally, DO NOT take
it personally that he chose murder and death to life
under your shunning. For the love of GOD, he will be
judged. And if you did pass judgement on your son,
God is doing the very same thing. Struggle on.
Sick bullshit,
Yadirf

Messenger
The URL you posted is what is causing the sentences to stretch out so long sideways. You might want to consider editing your first post by breaking the URL in the middle. Although that would cause those who wished to click on it the work of having to paste it in their address field and hit the "go" button, I think that not many would complain.
Personally, I hate it when one has to scroll back and forth across the screen repeatedly in order to read a post.
Thanks,
Yadirf
Daniel 11:35 ... a KEY prophecy that must be fulfilled before the "time of the end" gets underway.
Smoldering Wick

I was moved to write a letter of thanks to Ms. Lawton for publishing this article. I hope that more newspapers across the Country will pick it up. Shunning is a devastating practice. I wish people could understand how much this high control JW religion effects people's lives. I only wish it didn't have to take such horrific tragedies as the Bryant family's to make them aware enough to publish something on the subject.
Subj: THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!
Date: 3/21/2002 2:23:07 PM Central Standard Time
From: Smoldering Wick
To: [email protected]

Dear Wendy:
I sit here with tears streaming down my face. I am completely overcome by your words that I have just read on my monitor.
I truly hope your article "Shunning in spotlight" will touch & change many, many lives.
I am a 3rd generation Jehovah's Witness. I was baptized at age 9. For 33 years, I lived the life of a good JW...until one day when I doubted their beliefs. I am not disfellowshipped nor have I officially disassociated myself from the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society, but, I am shunned nonetheless. I am, according to the JWs, "Not an Approved Associate." The rumors that spread in my community as to why I stopped being a Jehovah's Witness ranged anywhere from me being Demon Possessed, Mentally Insane or just plain Wicked. (Capitals mine, as they are titles given me to wear by my former friends)
The reason I am not officially Disfellowshipped is that when I was asked by the Congregation Elders the dreaded "Apostate" question: "Do you feel that The Watchtower Bible & Tract Society otherwise known as Jehovah's Witnesses are God's chosen mouthpiece/channel to dispense spiritual food to the world?" This is a tricky question, if you answer "NO" to it, you are immediately Disfellowshipped & shunned. If you answer "YES" to it (and it's a lie) you are forced into hiding. You will never be free from their watchful eye. They will continue to "monitor" you through Shepherding Visits and expect your return. If you remain in your hometown but do not return to their fold, other witnesses will watch you and report to the elders if they ever see an infraction on your part (i.e. if you hang up Christmas lights, donate blood, talk to former JWs) and then you will be immediately Disfellowshipped.
Although, I was able to get away with not giving them a Yes or No answer...I have remained in hiding for the past Four years. When I am not in hiding, I am usually forgotten, or shunned. All of my life-long friends have since forgotten me, as if I never existed. If I occasionally see a former friend at the mall or grocery store...some will pretend they didn't see me, others will give me a half smile and walk on. If they do stop to talk to me, it is merely a necessary evil...to try and "encourage" me to return to the JWs. And to think we were always taught to not give in to peer pressure!
The story you wrote about Robert Bryant is indeed tragic, however I do not think it is isolated. I myself know of three suicides in my area by JWs who were being shunned at the time.
One story which took place in 1991 is about a well respected man I knew quite well, his wife and three children. This man, a JW apparently had an affair and was about to be Disfellowshipped by our JW congregation. The idea of his affair being made public to the congregation and being Disfellowshipped threw the man into a deep depression. His guilt was too much to take. He told his wife he was so sorry and wanted to die. He told the elders he was so sorry wanted to die. The elders made a few visits to 'check' on him...but, a few days later he sat on the floor of his Music Store and blew his brains out.
Another young man (17 years old) in our congregation who's mother had started studying with Jehovah's Witnesses and attending our Kingdom Hall could not conform to his mother's new religion. He tried. He gave up all his friends, smoking cigarettes & pot, alcohol only for a short time. He went back to his friends. His mother was very disappointed in him, so was the congregation. As I sat at his funeral, staring at the picture of a young man on top of a closed casket...I tried to force myself not to think of the damage the rifle had done to his head.
The very sad thing about all of this for me...is that as a JW...I too have shunned. My best friend and sister-in-law called to tell me that the elders had found out about her affair, and she was going to be Disfellowshipped that evening at the meeting. This was her last phone call to me, her final good-bye. I did not cry. I told her matter-of-factly that I imagined her on the other side of my phone...hanging off of a cliff by her fingernails. I told her...when I hang up this phone, in my mind you will have fallen. You are dead.
My sister-in-law and best friend was dead for seven years. Even after she "returned to the fold" I considered her dead. It wasn't until a few years of me not being an active JW that I "resurrected" her in my life.
I'm not sure if you will even read my letter, and I am not expecting an answer. Just please know...it is people like you who will stop these needless suicides and the cruel acts of shunning. The more the world sees the horrible reality of shunning...the closer we are to doing away with it.
For me, I want the world to know that I am not demon possessed, I am not insane, I am not wicked, I don't deserved to be shunned...I am only guilty of one thing...I no longer think like a Jehovah's Witness.
With Heartfelt Thanks!
Smoldering Wick
See what other former JWs have said about your article so far:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=24048&site=3
To Blue:
I understand your anger. Yes, I did agree that the article did not paint an accurate picture. In regards to the following:
To get kicked out, baptized members must display a pattern of "serious un-Christian conduct," such as molestation, adultery, drinking or lying. Promoting teachings that conflict with the Bible also qualifies.
There have been cases where people have been Disfellowshipped without the pattern of "serious un-Christian conduct," perhaps they weren't judged repentent enough by the elders. It was disturbing to me however, that Ms. Lawton mentioned "molestation" first in describing "serious un-Christian conduct"...when that has never been the Number One cause for Disfellowshipping. As far as drinking and lying goes...I will say that I knew many baptized members who displayed a pattern of "serious un-Christian conduct" of lying and drinking and were NEVER Disfellowshipped...perhaps it was because many of those were elders. I'd be curious to see the stats regarding Reasons for Disfellowshipping. My guess would be the two A's made the top 5...(Adultary & Apostasy)
pandora

Yadirf:
Yes atheists are indeed miserable, even though they won't admit to it, and they crave company.
What??!!!!
Where did you come up with this statement? I don't usually have anything scathing to say to you because you simply spout JW drivel all the time. It's boring and usually I gloss over it, because that is all that it is worth. You at least speak of something you know.
BUT,, this comment is something you obviously have no knowledge of.
How DID you come up with this? You are obviously NOT an athiest, Mr JW.
This comment reveals a tad too much anger, now that I think about it. You were pretty calm in all your comments up until this one. I wonder just what makes you want to believe that all athiest are lonely and miserable.
I can tell you one thing. I am an atheist. And I have never been happier. I am surrounded by my family and lots of friends and never want for association. I am FAR from miserable.
Sorry to dissappoint you. But you are mistaken.
new boy

I talked to Wendy Lawton this morning, to thank her for her report-----------------even though she only used about five % of what I said----------------- for someone who has no religous back round she did the best job she could--------------------------I turned her on to the web sites, she was amazed!!--------------------------If a 1000 people e-mailed her there could a follow up article!!!-------------------------The key is to be calm and deliberate, not mad, bitter,hatful--------------Keep up the good work all of you-------Keith Casarona {new boy} @ [email protected]
MrMoe

UMMMMM -- I am not an athiest.

SHUNNING- Oregonian Article-HUGE!

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