hey punk : sorry bro that sucks. thats so evil, its like they would rather us be drunks than to not believe the wt is gods channel. i guess whats another thing since im a believer(not getting into the discussion here lol) i want to go to church regular and its going to be a wrap when i do,as far as anything with jws because she said she would tell the elders. which really doesnt matter because as you know i started my da letter. so much here its crazy.
more wifey issues. she seen my phone and this web site was op
by unstopableravens 76 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
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punkofnice
w88 11/1 pp. 22-23 When Marital Peace Is Threatened ***Absolute endangerment of spirituality also provides a basis for separation. The believer in a religiously divided home should do everything possible to take advantage of God?s spiritual provisions. But separation is allowable if an unbelieving mate's opposition (perhaps including physical restraint) makes it genuinely impossible to pursue true worship and actually imperils the believer's spirituality. Yet, what if a very unhealthy spiritual state exists where both mates are believers? The elders should render assistance, but especially should the baptized husband work diligently to remedy the situation. Of course, if a baptized marriage partner acts like an apostate and tries to prevent his mate from serving Jehovah, the elders should handle matters according to the Scriptures. If disfellowshipping takes place in a case involving absolute endangerment of spirituality, willful nonsupport, or extreme physical abuse, the faithful Christian who seeks a legal separation would not be going against Paul's counsel about taking a believer to court.1 Corinthians 6:1-8.
If circumstances are extreme, then, separation may be warranted. But flimsy pretexts obviously should not be used to obtain a separation. Any Christians who do separate must bear personal responsibility for that action and should realize that all of us will render an account to Jehovah.Hebrews 4:13. -
punkofnice
"Keep Yourselves in God's Love" book:
In certain extreme situations, some Christians have decided to separate from or divorce a marriage mate even though that one has not committed fornication. In such a case, the Bible stipulates that the departing one “remain unmarried or else make up again.” (1 Corinthians 7:11) Such a Christian is not free to pursue a third party with a view to remarriage. (Matthew 5:32) Consider here a few exceptional situations that some have viewed as a basis for separation.
Willful nonsupport. A family may become destitute, lacking the basic essentials of life, because the husband fails to provide for them, although being able to do so. The Bible states: “If anyone does not provide for . . . members of his household, he has disowned the faith and is worse than a person without faith.” (1 Timothy 5: If such a man refuses to change his ways, the wife would have to decide whether she needs to protect her welfare and that of her children by obtaining a legal separation. Of course, Christian elders should give careful consideration to an accusation that a Christian refuses to support his family. Refusal to care for one’s family may result in disfellowshipping.
Extreme physical abuse. An abusive spouse may act so violently that the abused mate’s health and even life are in danger. If the abusive spouse is a Christian, congregation elders should investigate the charges. Fits of anger and a practice of violent behavior are grounds for disfellowshipping.—Galatians 5:19-21.
Absolute endangerment of spiritual life.A spouse may constantly try to make it impossible for the mate to pursue true worship or may even try to force that mate to break God’s commands in some way. In such a case, the threatened mate would have to decide whether the only way to “obey God as ruler rather than men” is to obtain a legal separation.—Acts 5:29.
In all cases involving such extreme situations as those just discussed, no one should put pressure on the innocent mate either to separate or to stay with the other. While spiritually mature friends and elders may offer support and Bible-based counsel, they cannot know all the details of what goes on between a husband and a wife. Only Jehovah can see that. Of course, a Christian wife would not be honoring God or the marriage arrangement if she exaggerated the seriousness of her domestic problems just to live separately from her husband, or vice versa. Jehovah is aware of any scheming behind a separation, no matter how one may try to hide it. Indeed, “all things are naked and openly exposed to the eyes of him with whom we have an accounting.” (Hebrews 4:13) But if an extremely dangerous situation persists, no one should criticize a Christian who, as a last resort, chooses to separate. In the final analysis, “we shall all stand before the judgment seat of God.”—Romans 14:10-12. -
unstopableravens
of course the one who does not believe the wt is in the wrong. stupid watchtower articles. sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo frustrating!
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BU2B
Ravens, my heart goes out to you and your situation. I too am going through a similiar situation. My wife is in and fully trusts the WT and FDS. I also have a 3 year old and that really complicates things and makes it all the more important we get out together. I wont go on living as a witness, Im sure the stress is not good for me, but I also dont want to lose my family, and dont want my daughter to grow up with divorced parents.
Talking about doctrine or even scandals like UN involvement do not work 95% of the time. Our real mission is to get our families to think for themselves, and use the powerful mind they were given. This is difficult to say the least with the constant demonization of "independent thinking". I have also found telling someone something dosent work, you have to ask questions that will lead them to think and draw their own conclusions. This way it isnt confrontational and she wont become defensive, but over time may help her to think. This also may not work as the indoctrination level is so great. My wife is known for frequent commenting and even goes over the WT lesson 2-3 times! What hope do I have of breaking through that?! I think if she was less "spiritual" it may be easier, but I cant blame her because she thinks by doing these things, going to every meeting, service, commenting, this will save her life and her daughters. Everything else is from satan.
I believe that If I really stood my ground and DA or someting, she would at the very least withold her love, at worst leave. I believe home life would become so unpleasant we would have no choice but to divorce. It makes me so mad that this so called religion has this type of power over peoples lives. I love her and she loves me, but what is the depth of it if disagreeing with 8 men in Warwikill can make her treat me like $hi+.
For now I would like to say, try to help her use her mind, and dont be direct if you want to keep your family. Just know there are many others in your shoes, and people who have been and came through it. I am one of those with spouse in like you, just be strong and try to think clearly all the time. You are not alone. My thoughts are with you Ravens. And congratulations on coming out of the WT spell.
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unstopableravens
thanks bu2b! problem is i have been direct for three years .i believe very strongly about my doctrinal beliefs and i want to go to church, but i know it is going to make life even more difficult and at the same time i feel bad for her,even though she has treated me bad. she goes to the hall crying sometimes, i dont like that.what drives me up a wall is we both believe the bible ,i have showed her everything from being born again to jesus not being an angel and everything else,she says she can not refute it. but she still trust the org!
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Cold Steel
i have showed my wife just about everything there is. i have showed the elders.and well i can understand why it hard for her because this not what she wanted.
my JW wife left me for no other reason than I'm an 'apostate'(TM) DA'd from the WBT$. It began with the withholding of my 'due'. Then sarcastic remarks. Then she left me and the boys because of the cult mind control.
I too am going through a similiar situation. My wife is in and fully trusts the WT and FDS. I also have a 3 year old and that really complicates things and makes it all the more important we get out together. I wont go on living as a witness....
I would hate to see anyone go through a divorce, especially if they have to leave children. I don't know why women think sarcasm could positively influence anyone. It's certainly not honoring one's husband. Conversely, men should be patient with their religious wives. I know I might get some grief for this, but in incorrigible cases, I hate to see spouses walking out on each other. When people marry in strict religions -- especially religions that think they're the only true church and everyone else will be lost -- it can be very difficult on spouses when one decides to bail. In a real sense, this should have been ironed out before marriage because, to the one who doesn't "see the light," his/her entire future seems to crumble. They effectively lose the power to raise their children in the faith and the "crutch" they thought they had for the rest of their lives now becomes a subversive element. It's not enough that one leaves the church, it many times destroys the marriage. The shame of apostasy is terrible for believers and it divides families. Once people are out, however, they wonder how they could have ever bought into that mess.
But until you are all out of the sect, I think it's important to stay together...especially if kids are involved. I know it can be tough, especially with a religion as potentially pickey as the JWs. If no recourse is agreed upon, and you value your family, siimply go with patience. If that doesn't work, you might want to remain marginnally active until you can work out a routine. But if your family can't handle patience, then you may have to bail. This kind of head butting just can't continue forever.
Hopefully, your wives in these cases will listen to reason. If they get sarcastic, reassure them that your only interest in this matter is in to discovering the truth. If they do balk or become impatient or sarcastic, just deal with them as you can.
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unstopableravens
cold steel. thanks for thoughts. everyone has different wives different situation,some may be able to do something in the cult. i have no desire to support a lying religion. my family should not except anything less than truth.there was nothing to ironin out before marriage ,we both were pioneering and hardcore jdubs.i understand im the one who changed ,but for good reasons which i have discussed with her every step.
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Satanus
I don't advocate divorce, especially if children are involved. However, if two people who have serious differences are making eachother, or one miserable, then divorce may be the way to go. That misery builds and leads to worse mental states. That is destructive, not only to the person, but to the kids, as well. Soon the person is seen as an a-hole by everybody. Better to divorce and make yourself better. Even your kids will like you better and they will end up, most likely having a better life, also, than if the miserable person tries to hang on. My opinion.
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punkofnice
There is no perfect solution to all of this. Be bloody careful mate. The WBT$ implants it's doomsday mechanism in the brain.
Your wife might decide she can't live with a 'mentallt diseased apostate(TM)' just like mine and others have done.
It isn't an isolated incedent it's part of the 'mind cleansing(TM)'. The brainwashing over-rides normal human emotion.
Give it a rest if you want to keep your missus!
If such a man refuses to change his ways, the wife would have to decide whether she needs to protect her welfare and that of her children by obtaining a legal separation. Of course, Christian elders should give careful consideration to an accusation that a Christian refuses to support his family. Refusal to care for one’s family may result in disfellowshipping.