Chichi - so sorry to hear you're having it tough right now. It's hard at first, but being DF'd was the best thing that ever happened to me. After a few years, it all seems like a bad dream. Not just being DF'd - but everything that you did to try to please all of the other JWs. It sounds like you at one time had friends on the outside. Here's one thing that I bet you'll find - people whose friendship you turned down over the years because they are "worldly", like coworkers, extended family, classmates, will often give you another chance at friendship. I found that to be true in my case. It's not conditional on what you believe. On the other hand, your friendship with your witness network is 100% condititional on what three men (who admittedly can't read hearts) decide about your "heart condition". Who do you really want as friends?
I Got disfellowshiped..wana die!
by Chichi89 79 Replies latest jw friends
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Ding
The Watchtower Society WANTS you to feel worthless without them.
It's a lie.
They are trying to control you.
Think about the way Jesus treated people.
What the WT is doing is not Christian.
Many so-called "worldly" people are kind, decent, and friendly.
Reach out to them and develop friendships.
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Tater-T
I know how you feel .. I really do .. what got me through it was my relationship with jehovah was stronger than my relationship with the organazation. they always told us you have to have a good relationship with GOD.. so do just that..
good luck..
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DesirousOfChange
DITTO what Blondie said (Page 2).
I would expect that the "love of your life" should be there to give you support. If not, hard lesson learned. And, seek out those old friends. Explain to them that you sadly listened to the "mind control" of the religion to "drop them". Hopefully they will forgive and lend a hand of REAL friendship.
Doc
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mrsjones5
My cousin is a jw, has been since she was a teenager. She married a nonjw almost 24 years ago. She wasn't disfellowshipped or even reproved. I don't think she's ever been shunned. She's still married to her husband (an avowed atheist and liberal) and they have three kids.
My cousin asked me once if I had heard of the rumors saying she and her husband had slept together before married and that's why they had to run off to Reno to marry. I hadn't. Thankfully I was far removed from that congregational gossip and am of the opinion that's it's really none of anyone's business if they had.
You have my empathy Chichi. Focus on your relationship. Forget your socalled friends. Find and cultivate some new friends.
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Pterist
Jehovah has NOT forsaken you, you are being abused by a heartless corporation. Your JW friends have no choice, but the ones with hearts are with you.
The elders judgement of you is NOT the final word. Jehovah called "Bethel" in Israel "BethAven" which became corrupt. He rebuked "mother Israel" @ Hosea 2
There are many here that have experienced this pain, we know how it feels. we know ! WE CARE ! Let us know what we can do !
Shalom
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tenyearsafter
ChiChi89...first of all, welcome!
The things you are feeling are by design. The disfellowshipping process is meant to make you feel inadequate, unloved and evil. Once you realize that this is a high control mechanism used by the WTS to "keep people in line", it will allow you to transition through it.
I am getting the feeling you are in your early 20's...this can be a very vulnerable time as we tend to be very sensitive to what others think of us. I was fortunate that I was in my 40's when I was DF'ed, and didn't really care what other people thought. I think if you see friends and family as prisoners of the WTS, you will be better able to work through your feelings. Do not let them make you feel less a person...if you isolate yourself from "wordly" friends, this will be difficult since you will have no other point of reference.
The one thing I haven't seen is whether you are looking to be reinstated...the answer to that question will have much to do with your "recovery". If you intend to go back, then you will have to play their game...just view it as a game. If you are not going back, then you need to find new friends, interests and gain new experiences. Trust me when I say, things will get better for you with each passing month.
I wish you the very best in your journey...
TYA
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Lozhasleft
I remember feeling like you do now. It was the worst feeling in the world at the time. But it's true what many have said on here, it does get better. Once you realise that your God Jah hasn't 'left' you, like they insist, and that there is a wonderful life to be had outside that Kingdom Hall. I lost all trust in the WTBS when they did it to me despite my repentance, and could never have gone back again. I have become thankful for it and believe that Jah allowed it for my good.
You need to build up a support system around you, a career, and a life of freedom. You'll soon see that there are some really loving and kind people in the world with no conditions. Reach out and become friends with some of them. It sounds like you already have a loving partner to help you find your way. Be happy together and start living a normal life. Oh, and don't look back, they've done you a favour.
Loz x
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label licker
Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. You've just been given your freewill back to you. Something that these idiots at WT took away. Freewill that was given to you from Jehovah!!!!!! Things will get better. I'm not df'd but am treated as such. After the other day in a parking lot, a sister came up to me and acted lovey dovey and the first words were why aren't you at the meetings and why are you avoiding my questions and was screaming before I left. Think of how you don't have to put up with that bullsh@T! Wishing you all the best, you'll be ok, listen to everyone here.
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jgnat
Stop going to the meetings. They make you feel bad.
Elope with your sweetheart. Be with the ones you love.
I am a non-JW and I married a Witness. He did it in secret, and the elders weren't happy but they did not disfellowship him.
It is easier to ask for forgiveness later than to beg permission.