Welcome Chi!
What you are now experiencing is how this cult works. This is extremely painful for you AND THEY WANT IT TO BE PAINFUL FOR YOU! JWs aren't about love, they are about control, fear, and even hate. It is common operating procedure for this religion to rip families apart and ruin lives. Now you can see it for what it is.
And this feeling that you feel like you want to die, it is something that the WT religion has programmed into you. It is an indoctrinated "self-destruct" mechanism when you distance yourself from them. They have taught you that without them, your life is meaningless and not worth living. But it is all a lie that they have taught you. I can tell you from my personal experience that my life has begun since I got away from the WT poison controlling my life. It hasn't been an "easy" journey, but it has certainly been worth it.
Best wishes to you. Don't give up on life! Life after WT is even more precious.