MIL letter to my wife

by AggieNostic 71 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Maybe send a copy of the letter back with a note saying something like, "I'm not going to be the one to tell your grown grandchildren that their grandmother refuses to see them anymore. If you wish to inform them that your obedience to WT is more important than them stopping in to visit with you before you take the final dirt-nap, tell them yourself. And have fun telling everyone at your anniversary party that you refused to allow most of your family to come because you think if a child is sexually molested, the elders should call the WT legal department instead of the police. Of course, next year is also the anniversary of 100 years from 1914, so I suppose most of your JW friends will be too busy talking about how the latest interpretation of 'generation' could mean another 50 years before the big A."

  Okay, don't actually send that, but it's what she deserves to hear for being such a WT drone.
• 

  Quandry

  We love you more than anything. You raised us well and you continue to be good parents. We love all our family, even when we don't agree. You are always mom and dad.

  Definitely this one. Your parents are the ideal couple wanted by the WTS. It is killing them to feel the way they do, but they are loyal...very loyal. Please don't take a hard stance with them. Just continue to show them love. Don't burn bridges behind you. They will indeed need you as they get older; if you answer in anger now it will make it harder for them to ask for your help later as they get older.

  What was that magazine article that was published not too long ago-that a person should not have to choose between his family and his beliefs? Could you get ahold of it and send it? Also how about just leaving them with the thought...LOVE NEVER FAILS. Then wait awhile and see if they want to contact you. Send them a wonderful card and gift for their anniversary. Kill them with kindness. I think your parents are kind-hearted and loving, and this will get to them whereas if you force them to defend their faith they will dig in with all they've got.

  My non-Witness parents are both gone now. We had a strained relationship because WE were the loyal JWS. How I wish they could have lived long enough for us to have a real relationship after we left the witnesses. You never know what the future will bring. Once they are dead there is no changing anything.
• 

  Splash

  Dear Mom,

  I can only guess how hard it was for you to write that letter, I could really sense your anxiety for us.

  I'm happy to tell you that we are doing well, and I put that down in part to the way you and Dad gave me such a good grounding as I grew up. I hope you are doing well too, I think of you both often and love you very much.

  One thing I don't understand about your letter is that you are choosing to cut us all off, not for any gross misconduct we are guilty of, but because we still associate with my brother. Mom, this is a more severe treatment of us than even the Watchtower advises.

  I'm finding it very hard to understand why you are inventing reasons to cut us off while at the same time you say you love us. Are you basing your decision on some new light that I'm not aware of?

  If we were disfellowshipped ourselves I could understand your reasoning, but we are not, which makes your decision unnecessary and hurtful.

  You have to do whatever you think is best, but I will never withdraw my love from you both or look for reasons to think badly of you. How could I be like that with my own Mom and Dad!

  Paul said that l ove is long-suffering and kind. He also said "Allow room for us. We have wronged no one, we have corrupted no one, we have taken advantage of no one. I do not say this to condemn you. For I have said before that you are in our hearts to die".

  Mom, you are in my heart until I die.

  Love,

  MW
• 

  Billy the Ex-Bethelite

  Or you could respond. "I was sad when I read your letter, but I wasn't surprised. Since we've been worshipping Satan for a while now, he told us this letter would be coming today. Oh, and from what he said, you better be careful on those back stairs, I know you're looking forward to surviving to see that 50th wedding anniversary. Here's hoping you make it!"

  Okay, I wouldn't actually send that either. But I think she deserves it.
• 

  ABibleStudent

  I would send a postcard of you, your wife, and children having fun together with the following message "We love you more than the Watchtower and always want you in our lives. It is your choice to follow the directions of the Watchtower instead of your God." I would also create a Facebook page and write the URL on the postcard.

  Since your MIL already has threatened to start shunning you, you may as well call her bluff. Either way you and your wife are happier now than when you were practising JWs and your wife's parent's may change their mind as they get older.

  Peace be with you and eveyrone, who you love,

  Robert
• 

  lisaBObeesa

  AggieNostic....Please check your PM's...
• 

  laverite

  Love Billy's suggestions. And, I have to say that Blondie's comment is the very best I've seen on JWN so far this year: " No pearls before swine...I never responded, it's like getting sucked into a whirlpool of stupid."

  Aggienostic - only you can decide what you are comfortable doing. I'm so happy for your wife that she is earning her degree! Congrats to her.
• 

  LisaRose

  What a hateful, snitty letter. She sounds like she is just jealous her family would rather spend time with each other than her. I don't know if I would even give this ugliness a response. I like the idea of sending the letter right back with no response. Maybe you should send a copy to the elders and say you are offended at this display of UN Christian behavior and have been stumbled. Granted all dubs are brainwashed and feel they must shun, but she seems to enjoy the self righteous indignation she feels.
• 

  sylvlef

  hi

  I was shocked by this letter,but not surprised. this is the way of the more fanatics JW, even if they are not all like this.

  You could choose to ignore this letter , but this would be giving them the impression that you are wiling to cut ties with them, just like it is written in some Watchtower magazines. instead , as many people here told, you could Reply back with a gentle letter, saying that:

  1) this décision is very sad and shows no love at all, given the fact that it is not a proof of love to disassociate and not even wanting to see people from family just because they choose to think differently. Ask her how she would react if situation were reversed, and if a catholic or a muslim people chose to disassociate from a member of family because he chose to become a JW...then put the extract saying that No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family." (Awake! 2009 July p.29).

  2) you are not willing to be as robotic as her, so you Will respect her décision and Will not be imposing your presence to her at any family event, or any other occasion, if it is zuch a torture for them to see you,but you Will never stop to love them so if one day they change their mine they Will always be welcome .also you wil be there for them if they need you for anything, they just have to give you a call.

  I hope you and your family Will be ok...
• 

  RayPublisher

  Sick sad letter. After examining all these great ideas for a response in hidef and 3D (in my mind lol) I think the best way to win...is not to play the game...