MIL letter to my wife

by AggieNostic 71 Replies latest jw experiences

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  ABibleStudent

  AggieNostic - MIL replied: "Yes, we will be there - we love you and know you worked very hard for your degree. We just want you to return to Jehovah"

  Mixed signals to say the least. One day MIL is sending letter that uses fear, guilt, blackmail and then the next replies to text above.

  Hi AggieNostic, It sounds like the typical battle between a JW's authentic persona and their cult persona according to Steve Hassan's model. I noticed the same type of behavior in a former friend of mine who is a "Spiritually Strong" (non-thinking) JW before I read Steve Hassan's book "Combatting Cult Mind Control". It appears that you and your wife could salvage your relationship with your MIL by asking her simple questions like your wife did in her text message that would help her authentic persona to come out more.

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert
• 

  jamiebowers

  I believe they truly dont want to shun us, but they are afraid that their god will punish them by not following the WT rules. Sad. We most likely will not respond to her letter and just keep doing what we have been - being there for them, love them unconditionally and at the same time - refuse to shun our siblings who are DF'd.

  Before and after this update from you, my opinion is to send the following letter:

  Dear Mom,

  Love is kind and patient,
  never jealous, boastful,
  proud, or 5 rude.
  Love isn't selfish
  or quick tempered.
  It doesn't keep a record
  of wrongs that others do.
  6 Love rejoices in the truth,
  but not in evil.
  7 Love is always supportive,
  loyal, hopeful,
  and trusting.
  8 Love never fails!

  Love,

  Daughter
• 

  bsmart

  Something hit me about the text message, graduation will not be attended by other JWs and anniversary party likely to be attended by many JWs (being that is about the only thing they can celebrate.... Probably she figures that no witness at the graduation to gossip about it at the hall. Pretty likely the lady is also very conflicted- as mentioned previosly.
• 

  Fernando

  Dear mom and dad

  You yourself are not doing what you are asking me to in your letter.

  You are free to choose the tree of life (the full Good News) or death (religion - the tree of knowledge of good and bad).

  As I want to impute the best to you, as to motive, I will assume you think, speak, write and act in ignorance (Luke 23:24).

  I will assume that your ignorance is not militant. I will also assume your self-righteousness is not malignant. That is to say I do not consider you evil or wicked - just temporarily delusional.

  If and when you lay aside cowardice, and instead develop the courage to face and answer the following simple questions personally, honestly and factually you will also have the opportunity to see how you have (unknowingly) been misled into embracing "Christless Christianity" and have gradually become more like the Pharisees than like Jesus.

  1. Is legalism apostasy? (Awake 1979)
  2. Is moralism apostasy?
  3. Exactly what is the "experiment that failed"? (Watchtower 1980)
  4. How many years have you been a “publisher of the Good News”?
  5. Why then do you know little or nothing about “the Good News”?
  6. If you search the Bible, in the Watchtower library on computer, for "the truth" and the "good news" using "sentence scope" what will you find? Is "the truth" related to "the good news" (about a person)? Or is "the truth" related to a correct understanding of doctrines such as hellfire, trinity and immortality of the soul?
  7. What is the gospel in one word?
  8. Is it true that more than half the New World Translation's roughly 152 references to "good news" are by Paul?
  9. How many times does Paul refer to "Kingdom" and "Good News" in the same sentence?
  10. Why does the "true religion" secretly blind its followers to the "Good News" according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah and Psalms?
  11. Why do followers of the Watchtower religion call themselves “publishers of the Good News” whilst unfamiliar with the “Good News” according to Paul, Moses, Isaiah and Psalms?
  12. Does Paul tell us that a right and clean standing with God can be earned, deserved, or paid for? Or does he teach that it is a free gift that is granted by unmerited favour to persons who have accepted the free gift of faith after pursuing the "full Good News" (Rom 10:16,17)? (Find and mark each occurrence of the words "righteous" and "righteousness" in Paul's writings in the books Romans through Hebrews).
  13. Why and when did the Watchtower stop teaching that ALL religion is a snare and a racket?
  14. Given that Pastor Russell died in 1916, do any of his prolific writings support the claim that he knew and taught Jesus had started ruling in 1914?
  15. Is Pyramidology spiritism (predicting dates by means of the pyramids of Egypt)? Was Pyramidology practiced and published by Pastor Russell in the Watchtower and his book "The Divine Plan of the Ages"?
  16. Did Pastor Russell publish the "winged sun disk" (a spiritistic symbol) on the cover of his books "The Time is at Hand", "Thy Kingdom Come", "The Divine Plan of the Ages", "The New Creation", and "The Finished Mystery"? If you search Google images for - Russell winged sun disk - are the pictures fake? What about copies of these publications in your own Kingdom Hall library?
  17. In what way was the Bethel witch hunt and purge of the early 1980's related to the outbreak of the "gospel of grace" and anti-legalism at Bethel?

  I pray you will have the courage to see yourselves for what you have unwittingly become - ignorant and self-righteous persons who resemble the Pharisees more than Jesus: http://www.barna.org/faith-spirituality/619-are-christians-more-like-jesus-or-more-like-the-pharisees.

  I do still love you and trust that you will eventually find and embrace "the truth of the Good News" and become more like the Jesus you claim to follow.

  Please pray to Jehovah that you may have the chance to wake up to yourselves already, and escape the destiny of the spiritually blind, confused, inebriated, and insane Pharisees - Gehenna.

  Please stop searching the scriptures for eternal life and ignoring Jesus and the priceless (gospel) message about him (John 5:39,40).

  Please do not put deathbed repentance to the test - although the Bible teaches differently, the Watchtower teaches it is too late.

  Your ever hopeful daughter and SIL

  AggieNostic and AggiNistic

  PS - If you are too lazy to do your own research, at the moment, even after my letter above, www.jwfacts.com might give you some inspiration.
• 

  fiddler

  I have read through all 4 pages of this thread. The fact that it has accumulated 4 pages in such a short period of time speaks loudly that this is a very common problem for a lot of us.

  With the advent of all the electronic means of communication, texting and such has become the preferred way of communication and although I love the new technologies, it sure has allowed our JW families to 'hit and run' at times with this emotional blackmail stuff.

  I'm glad that your family member is still communicating with you and hopefully you will be able to take the high road and show through your own life and conduct how real family love is shown.

  The one thing that I have found that makes it so hard to respond to JW family and friends is their fall back on the name of Jehovah. The initial letter you received had a few points I noted but the first and most conversation stopping point was:

  "the most important part of that was teaching you the truth about Jehovah"

  I would personally love to be able to challenge that statement with documentation from people who've devoted their lives to studying ancient peoples and their religions as well as the translating of books like the Bible...........actual scholars........people with more than a high school level of education. How many of the current (or even past) members of the governing body have educations that would qualify them to teach 'the truth about Jehovah"?

  None, I dare say.

  That poor lady taught you all what a Bible publishing agency told her to teach............not truth. Jehovah is their corporate logo for all intents and purposes.

  I still believe that there is a higher power out there but I don't for one moment believe it is the angry, psychopathic god of the ancient Israelites, Jehovah. If that god was put through a battery of psychological test I'm quite sure he'd come out as a very 'mentally diseased' god!

  Then there is the problem JW's have with equating in their minds that Jehovah=Watchtower=governing body=their own personal identity. To say anything against JEHOVAH just blows them completely apart. Someone here has an avatar from the movie "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"

  

  Such an apt depiction of a JW's reaction to saying anything even slightly against their precious god.

  I learned that the very hard way.

  Good luck with your family and congrats on your wife's degree. Well done!
• 

  jean-luc picard

  Very difficult for you and your family.

  This was the phrase that struck me

  You know we've talked to you about this before, but I guess you don't care what we think.

  I guess she doesnt care about what you think either.

  On a positive side, my mother didnt speak to me for 5 years, then she got in touch with me through my sister , though half the while she is still trying to get me to go back.
• 

  Dismissing servant

  Yes...as ABS stated earlier:

  "Hi AggieNostic, It sounds like the typical battle between a JW's authentic persona and their cult persona according to Steve Hassan's model. I noticed the same type of behavior in a former friend of mine who is a "Spiritually Strong" (non-thinking) JW before I read Steve Hassan's book "Combatting Cult Mind Control". It appears that you and your wife could salvage your relationship with your MIL by asking her simple questions like your wife did in her text message that would help her authentic persona to come out more. "

  This is really important to understand. Don't feed her cult persona by questioning the watchtower or it's dogma.....feed her authentic persona by talking to her about every-day life. Try not to talk to her about that letter.....it is obvious that it vas written by a Cult persona, not a real typical grandmother.
• 

  caliber

  "Forgive them for they know not what they do" ~~Jesus

  Influence is measured not by surface covered but by it's depth .....it's grace , in hearts it touches !

  And in such grace is given wings to fly

  
• 

  wizardca

  The letter really doesn't surprise me. I'm a 3rd generation born-in that faded and eventually years later DA'd for my own sanity but never told the family. Got married to a non-JW at a secular location with the reception at a secular location. My sister didn't attend the wedding or reception and nor did grandparents. Their reasoning was that I was baptized to the WT a JW and was marrying a non-JW so they couldn't attend. But we really should socialize together. WTF!? Funny how my mother married my non-JW father and the grandparents attended that wedding. It is a sad thing that some JW's pride themselves in following the WT line when they deem it must be followed but can look the other way at other things (a call to say "I remember when you were born XX number of years ago" but this isn't a happy birthday call!). I find it amazing that they will support and give every indication of they will attend and support you but at the last minute, New Light TM appears and it changes. I wouldn't be surprised if New Light TM says not to go to the graduation. Sadly.

  I assume the parents are older, set in their beliefs and ways. Attacking what they've followed and had ingrained in their minds for decades really won't solve anything. If anything it may drive a wedge deeper and reinforce their attacking points. JWs do emotional blackmail well (experienced countless times). A non-response or a a simple "love is unconditional for you, siblings, children and friends transcends religious beliefs. The familial bond should be unbreakable and there for all". But alas, wasn't there a recent WT article that the WT bond is more important than the familial one? I try not to keep up too much on which way WT thoughts blow this week vs last week. But I digress. Exemplify love through actions, they speak louder than words.
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  never a jw

  Be resolute in your position regarding your religious beliefs, but you may want to tell them that they are welcome to your house, social gatherings and parties anytime. If they don't want to reciprocate, that's their prerrogative. Show them more love than they are capable of showing to your wife.

  Your letter only hardens my resolve to fight the cult.

  Also, tangential to the subject though, what difference is there between anniversaries and birthdays? The former are annual celebrations of two individuals, the latter are the annual celebrations of one individual. I guess anniversaries should be twice as bad as birthdays.