My Mom has decided to turn me in... I am not afraid (Letter Inside)

by sosoconfused 82 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Wholly

  "possession of satan" = satan's servant

  This is what my mother taught my little daughter (starting 30 years ago). She learned very early that Grandma says her mother is a servant of satan. My daughter grew up screwed in the head, never able to bring herself to trust me even though she loved me with all her heart. Grandma was always secretly whispering in her ear, arming my child against me with sayings of the WTB$ until one day when she was 13 and Grandma convinced her to make false accusations against me and her step-father. Children's Services in two states opened a criminal investigation which resulted in a nightmare with lifelong repercussions for all those still living. The perpetrators of that satanic episode are now deceased and my daughter is all alone in the world now, a hopeless drug addict because she can't cope with life without Grandma, Mom or God.

  It's such a shame that these loyal followers can't recognize that everywhere they use the term Jehovah, they have replaced Jesus. I pray for them everyday and plead for the scales to be removed from their eyes.

  They are the devil's followers and can't recognize it. As foretold would be the case.

  ...
• 

  sosoconfused

  @Wholly - so sorry to hear. That is truly sad...

  My sister was the black sheep. Because my mother thought she was dating aco-worker she told her @19 she had to be home from work by 8 p.m. or she would be put out. Needless to say she put her out. I was 11 at the time. I was told to never see her because she was in satans hands. Mind you she wasnt even baptized. 2 years went by and we never saw her. She appears with a child. My mother told her, "It is a shame my first grand baby is a bastard..." My sister left again that night... I would get into how wrecked her life became. Ultimately she has 4 boys by 3 men but got her life in order. unfortunately she got baptized a year ago after years of pressure from my mother. Her life is horrible now.

  This organization literally produces some of the most screwed up people you will ever met.

  This weird feeling of worshipping this loving God who at the same time is sooo eager to kill millions of people at Armageddon. We live in constant fear always hoping we are doing enough to make him happy - when in actuality he asks for very little
• 

  Wholly

  @ sosoconfused Thank you for your compassion, it is appreciated more than you can know.

  I feel for you and hope you find the strength to overcome this period in your life and pray that you maintain love in your heart. Every JW must put "Jehovah" first above all else. Because your mom made her declaration in her letter, you know where you stand in her mind.

  I am trembling at the thought of what your sister has had to endure. I can relate. It must have been extremely confusing for you too. (hug)
• 

  sosoconfused

  Wholly - I was not allowed to associate with her during that period. It hurt us as a family badly because she moved into a small small apartment literally down the street from us. Not even a full block. Yet we could not go see her. You wonder how people end up in these cults and never realize how screwed up they are. Then you look at yourself and think , "Who am I to talk".
• 

  Wholly

  It is very difficult to break away from the mind control and emotional manipulation. Sacrifices must be made, one way or the other. This is a lose-lose situation. The only hope for any of us is to be as firmly grounded in our particular set of beliefs as possible without refusing to consider another viewpoint. It's a difficult balancing act, but it can be done. It gets better with practice, personally speaking. I still have a ways to go to overcome the residual emotion from 30 years of hell at the hands of my religiously mind controlled mother.

  The letter you posted from your mom, could have been written by mine. After she died I sorted through her belongings and found a little journal she kept in which she wrote about her "revelation" to rescue my daughter from me because (in her opinion) she couldn't understand how she gave birth to such an evil daughter, me. It was mom's belief that I was murdering my child because I would not commit to the WTB$ and get baptised.

  I'm so evil that after everything she put me and my daughter through for decades, I was still there for her when she went into hospice. I stayed for the seven days it took for her to pass away. During that time, I tried with all my heart to forgive her and show her the love she could never show me as there would never be another chance. She died believing I was a servant of satan.

  I know I'm not evil, but when it's your own mother behaving as if you are, the emotional dissonance doesn't stop resonating.

  I wish I could say something healing for you.
• 

  Quendi

  As I read your Mom’s letter, sosoconfused, I had a flashback to my conversation with the man who had been my best friend and his mother. They said very much the same things to me when I told them I had abandoned all efforts to get reinstated and was now going my own way. You are right to say how deep the mind control this cult exercises over its members is.

  My friends confronted me with anger, outrage and fear as well as affection. But what hurt me the most was to see people whom I deeply loved so enslaved. People whose intelligence and integrity I had always admired and respected had completely turned over their free will and power of reason to others who had shamelessly manipulated them.

  They pleaded and begged me to come back. They argued and cajoled. They told me I had succumbed to hubris and pride. But at the same time, they found themselves helpless and unable to answer the challenges to the WTS I raised in our talk. I was able to unmask the fear which held them in its grip and I detected the same fear in your mother’s words.

  Well, you have done the best you can. I told my friends that I would always love them and they could always count on that. Sadly, that was two years ago and they have not responded to any messages I have sent to them in the interim. I have had to let them go, but I know that if they ever seek me out they will find me ready and willing to resume our friendship. I will hope all the best for you and your extended family. But as for you, continue on your path because there is no love or freedom in the WTS or among its followers.

  Quendi
• 

  Dagney

  soso, omgosh, that letter reminds me of letters from my mom. They made me so sad in their delusional sincerity. Heavy sigh.

  She believes she is doing the right thing, and she is trying to save you. The one thing I have found to be true is you cannot argue with faith. Until there is a question or doubt...full blown faith is impossible to reson with.

  It seems your dad is more open, enjoy your time with him. For mom, stand your ground, be a good son to the extent you can, but live your life and be happy. Good luck.
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  jeremiah18:5-10

  Sosoconfused, I feel for you. I could imagine my mother, far less eloquently, writing such a letter. Its heart-wrenching to read her letter, moreso because of how mislead she is and doesn't even realize it. You must feel so powerless to reach your parents, I know I do. The only way I can cope is to build an emotional barrier that I don't let them through, whether good or bad, its the same. I realize their love and acceptance is 100% conditional. I have two brothers, one is an ex-con inactive witness, the other has severe emotional trauma and can't function on his own, he is dependent on my parents and he's df'd too. I'm financially independent and successful with two wonderful kids and a wife of 22 years (this June 26), and yet I'm the unacceptable shunned one who disappoints them and that they want nothing to do with. So I feel your pain and know how you must feel. But to know that you are standing on your own two feet as a complete family unit, making your way successful and making your own decisions and future, is so gratifying and purposeful that you won't trade it for emotional bondage. Stay strong and committed. Make your wife and kids and true friends your world and life will be as rewarding as ever. You will feel nothing but pity for those who refuse to love you and know you. Much love and support

  Jeremiah
• 

  GromitSK

  I guess your mum really believes all the WTS guff. She has a massive investment in it and maybe in some ways she sees your rejection of it as an attack on her as well as 'Jehovah'. There is probably nothing you can say to persuade her now and in fairness if she abandoned her faith, there is nothing to replace it with. It's all downside for her. I suspect she is genuinely concerned for your future but you know it's a crock.

  Good advice above, which I think you probably already know. Be kind, don't react, get on with our life and treat it as background noise. Engaging in debate will drain your own energies with no prospect of benefit to any party it seems to me.

  You're doing the right thing for your own family, just as she thinks she is for hers. You'll be better off out of it.
• 

  OUTLAW

  Don`t you just love JW parents?!..

  They will Sacrifice their Children for the WBT$ everytime..

  "We love you,It`s a Shame we have to Screw You"..

  "Be Thankful we never Stoned You to Death"..

  "Good-Bye!"..
  ......

  ....................................OUTLAW