Hi Miss.fit,
Glad you are reaching out. Good advice so far about getting checked out by a Dr. straight away. Depression is insidious, do not trust your thoughts when you are in a low mood. You are hugely mistaken to think your daughter can do without you. That's the depression talking and nothing else. Ending your life would ruin hers. She'd have to carry this with her forever and explain it to her children one day and to everyone new she gets to know. When people kill themselves, they not only miss out on the rest of their lives but they take a whole lot of others with them. Despite what your brain is telling you, our daughter (for one) needs you and loves you. She will benefit from seeing you, despite your condition, soldiering on as you have been and she is absolutely right, looking at a puppy website or anything that is a comfort to you or makes you smile, will be helpful. Your thoughts produce emotions and chemical reactions in the brain. Anything you can do to help produce the good ones will bring you closer to being well. Exercise of any type or any duration is beneficial (although it's probably the last thing you want to do when you're depressed) Even a short walk around the block can short circuit your negative feelings rather than let them snowball into a full on slump. Stay away from the News, reading the Newspaper or any intake of information that is not positive or upbuilding(garbage in garbage out). Doing so would be much like someone with a fractured foot, going on a long walk carrying a suitcase and a watermelon. Yes, they might be able to pull it off, but they would suffer a great setback towards their ultimate healing. A person with a fractured foot may be able to walk, but they shouldn't be carrying any unnecessary burdens while they are healing.
Studies have shown that there is a positive response in the brains of those while they pray. Certain mood centers are lit up while praying much as they are while meditating. If you don't know how to meditate, I'd say go ahead and pray. Instead of complaining to (God, the universe or whoever) asking for help the whole time, it might be helpful to say what you are grateful for (your daughter, the warm shower you had today, the fact that you have a job, your husband etc.) Also rather than entertaining your negative thoughts as they occur to you, learn to catch yourself doing this. Dismiss unhelpful thoughts, shoo them away like flies at a picnic. Set aside a certain time once a day to write your thoughts down on paper, so you can get them out of your head. This may help you avoid ruminating on those things that produce unwanted brain chemicals.
If you can remember that all of our feelings are caused by thoughts and that you have absolute control over what you think about, you will realize that your happiness is an inside job. Also, your life is not an emergency but the pain of depression and anxiety causes one to feel as if it is and that it will take desperate measures to free ones self of it's pain...NOW. This is where the thought of dying comes in and starts to look like a good option. To have been carrying this around for as long as you have, you are stronger than you probably realize. A lot of people would have crumpled under the weight of it long ago. You no doubt have a coping/survival routine for yourself already but maybe your could add the following two (feel good) things to it.
Print this out and carry it with you.
http://www.warmfuzzy.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/Just-for-Today.jpg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HttF5HVYtlQ
