If you don't believe in God where do you get the strength to cope? (page 7)

jgnat

One of the things I enjoy doing is watching birds. They live fiercly. Take robins, for instance, that anyone can watch who live in North America. They stake out their territory for their mate, nest, and raise their young. They chase off curious predators. They go from plump to skinny as they give their all to the nestlings, worm after worm. As the fledgling jumps the nest, they hover, quietly nearby, protecting them as they learn to fly.

If they fail, and this happens often, they start again. They may nest three times in our short summer in the hopes that one will survive.

As an aside, I cringe when the WTS speaks of "coping". Life cannot be contained in such a small word. Life is to be grabbed with both hands.

You can come back and read this later, when your depression lifts. I know this is hard to imagine right now.

Miss.Fit

Thank you all for your encouragement. I m dragging myself to work. But I am planning on taking a nice walk after.

That will give me something to look foward to.

Missy

cantleave

I agree your daughter certainly seems to have have head screwed on properly!

Miss.Fit

Cantleave: she stopped going to meetings with me when she was in her teens. I was always yo-yo ing between trying to be a good jw and being inactive. I never pushed her. I always told them it was their decision but I wanted them to make an informed decision.

I used to feel guilty that I didnt raise her in the jw. But now I am glad.

I think I rely on her too much. She helps me out a lot .

Im having a tough day at work. I feel so incompetent. Im trying to hang in.

The dr.said not to make any major decisions.

Missy

flipper

MISSFIT- I'm sorry to hear you've been experiencing some depressing times. It's a normal thing to go through after stopping attending meetings though as it's hard to replace our old JW life with a new life. But it can be done and we gain even more authentic, real happiness. As Cantleave stated on the 1st page of this thread- I too get strength from non-Witness friends ex-Witness friends, my wife and son who are not Witnesses. Basically most everybody that's in my life who is not a JW has been a real stronghold for me in moving on in life. All the JW's did was drag me down. And I've been out 10 years now- and I'm happier than ever !

Many here have chosen to go to a counselor or therapist to get help with depression and it's been a real saving help to them. If you feel the need to do that- please by all means do it. It will help. One thing that's helped me the last 2 years or so is I took up playing guitar, singing, and writing songs. I play and practice throughout the week and a couple times a month do an open mike night performance in our little town. It's been very healing to me and helpful. Music's a healing force. So I encourage you to develop some hobbies that interest you . You like riding bicycles ? Walking ? Swimming ? Shopping ? Any kind of activity , perhaps volunteer work assisting those in need. Anything that keeps us busy and active will help get rid of the ex-JW blues in my opinion. But if that doesn't help I would still suggest seeing a therapist. Take care, please know we are here for you and many have gone through this, you are not alone. Hang in there, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

chickpea

i have actually said aloud in therapy (PTSD) that i WISHED i still believed in a god.... but that i realized all those times i "prayed" for help and sustenance that it was my own resolve and the resources i utilized that got me through every challenge i have ever faced...

but i did admit there was a degree of comfort to be had in thinking there was a big ole spirit in the sky backing me up....

Stealth

Missy, It sounds like you are at a low point in life. Just know that it will get better and that can keep you going. Hope your feeling better soon!

Bella15

You have to rediscover LIFE ... if you think about it, it can be actually exciting! A chance to start again, a do-over, to acquire a new set of thinking skills ...when I was on this rediscovering life road I really think a higher power was leading me to read certain stuff that it was necessary for me, I remember crying while reading the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (can you believe that?) ... I believe with all my heart on those rights and I defend them with all my heart and soul having Jesus by my side now.

http://www.state.gov/j/drl/rls/irf/2008/108544.htm

I am also so thankful and proud of myself that I went to a doctor when I had depression and prescribed some meds for me that worked wonders. Chemical imbalances are for real!

It takes time Miss.Fit but it is a road worth taking, you may discover that you were a misfit in that CULT because you belong to the human race, you are a child of the Most High God girlfriend!!!! We have freewill and you don't have to worship God if you don't want to, this doesn't keep God from giving you freely from his creation, from making available to you all the raw material necessary for you to make your dreams come true.

Hang in there ... life IS beautiful ... one day you will look back and will be so proud of yourself because you came a long way ... just BELIEVE that you are worth it!!!!

Nickolas

But I get weary and sick of tryin'
'Cause I'm tired of livin' but I'm scared of dyin'
That ol' man river, he just keeps rollin' along

Jim Croce, Old Man River

You're clearly seriously depressed, my dear. That's the tired of livin' part of it. When you lose your faith it sometimes follows that you lose your fear of death, too. A religious person who is seriously depressed may refrain from taking his (or her) life beause he's afraid of the personal consequences, so I suppose in that sense faith is somewhat useful in a limited sort of way. An atheist who is seriously depressed may refrain from taking his life because he understands the consequences he'd heap onto others, in particular those who love him. I have known a number of people who committed suicide, including a close cousin who felt unloved. In all cases their deaths devastated their families and it was only their love for one another that carried them through. Their hearts were broken and they spent years second-guessing themselves about what they did or did not do to bring about their loss. People's hearts are not broken by the deaths of those they do not love. To answer your question for an atheist, at least this atheist, the question of carrying on is axiomatic. You carry on because your morality is drawn from two simple perspectives; minimising suffering in human beings and other sentient creatures, and maximising the happiness of those you love. In that light most life events and how to react to them is pretty clear. You carry on. And that's all you need.

LisaRose

Miss fit, I am glad you went to the doctor. Depression is nothing to fool around with, you cannot make good decisions, you cannot enjoy your life or have good relationships with others like that. I have had bouts with the "black dog" as Winston Churchill put it. I highly recommend meditation for depression. It takes time and practice, but the results are amazing. I have found I can only be my best self if I meditate regularly. I also recommend finding or developing an interest you have done before or always wanted to try. I am lucky to have a small creative business, and I always feel better when I am productive.

I too felt invisible when I was a dub. People would sometimes ask me if I was visiting, even when I had been attending for years. I realized I wanted to be invisible. How sad that I was that way. No more invisible Lisa now, I am happy to be me.

If you don't believe in God where do you get the strength to cope?

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