Do Kids Hate Being JW`s? (page 2)

Howard

I also doubt that there are many kids brought up in this religion who would say that they enjoyed their childhood, but I do remember there were always some kids who took it all very seriously. Their parents bragged about them for their studying habits etc. Personally, I hated the meetings and the door to door thing.
They were boring. The same topics over and over again for years! I daydreamed because listening was absolutely unbareable. I only gave 2 talks and they were very short. Not my thing at all.

larc

RHW,

I forgot to mention, that like you, the author of that book and my wife found comfort in books. Barbara Grizzuti Harrison read them at night at Bethel, where other books should not be read.

waiting

Hey Red and larc,

jw's don't have a hold on bad childhoods. I was an irish catholic and mine ranks down there with the rest. But books were my saviour also. The Library was My Friend. During the summer, 2 books a day. And I fit in with my friends, played some sports, dated all the time. go figure. I just hid at home, that's all.

It's nice to know you grew up so well adjusted with yourself, Red.

hey Fred

Nice to meet you.

It was fun when I was a kid. You don't need holidays and bad association in order to have fun. Pick up a match stick to set something on fire. Pick up a brick to break a window. Go to a behive and tease the bees. Start a fight in school. Eat some beans and fart in the same car group you work in field service. Come on, there is a whole world out there!!

I had boys who had the same kind of fun. Must be a man thing.

chuckling waiting

larc

Hey Waiting,

Sounds like you had a pretty good childhood to me, not a real low one. You said you "fit in", you "played sports" and you "dated all the time". Sounds pretty good to me. I don't think that "ranks down there" by any means.

Now as far as Fred's behavior goes, it's not a man thing. It was considered low life behavior even among the worldly.

larc

RWH,

I wanted to repeat the last part of the quote, because I think it is very important. "David and I also share the same reaction when people like us. We find it difficult to believe. People think we are NICE. We are outrageously grateful for small kindnesses. Every kindness comes as a surprise."

David left it as a boy. Barbara left it at the age of 22. Both were affected for a very long time.

crittersitter

being a jw kid had a few good moments, but basicly it sucked. in school i was the ONLY one who was a jw( and painfully shy on top of that) and had few friends at the hall. i went to a very "klicky" hall and was from a family of 6 kids, so the highlight of the year were gettogethers.
as for boyfriends..forget it, activities in school, only evil worldly kids would do that( i did play jv basketball one year-my dad was not a jw)
when i got to my senior year in hs, i had pretty much lost interest in the "truth", but went to the hall( sometimes hung-over) in case armageddon hit(1974)
got married to a jw kid at 18 just out of school...long story..
hated giving talks, hated door to door work, meetings were boring, i could doodle in the margins of my watchtower like nobody else..i was artistic(could not accept an art scholarship...college??? hahahahah
well, you know the rest......................

so here i sit..mid 40's, grown kids and the heart break is while i raised them, i had no hopes or goals for their lives either

waiting

hey larc,

I just hid at home, that's all.

That was the goal of my at-home life for 18 years. My life at school did, in no way, make up for approx. 18 years of sex and violence at the hands of my father. Good thing years are still forgotten for me. But this isn't my thread. I just brought it up to show that others, from all walks of life and all religions have sometimes crappy childhoods. JW's don't hold the trophy, just down there with the rest of the kids with crappy childhoods.

The point is - most of us survive - one way or another. Red is fortunate, read her posts - a fine, gifted, person. She certainly reads like she has overcome her childhood. Does a bad childhood leave residue on our lives? Absolutely. The bad taste doesn't seem to go away, whether remembered in detail or not.

waiting

Grunt

I wonder sometimes about the high quality of the people who are dissenters and post at the places I've read. So many seem so articulate and well read. Is that a function of being antisocial and reading for comfort, of being willing to question and falling away, or of just being the type that gets a computer and posts? I don't know. I do know that as evidenced here, many of the "apostates" are polite and show empathy, whereas frequently, as in this case, the only self-proclaimed Witness is talking a little crude and aiming low. Strange. I guess that could be a type also, the kind of Witness that would post at H20 on a regular basis and remain a staunch defender would probably have to be a person like You Know. I know it isn't wise to generalise. Still, while I am sure that there are a lot of sincere, sweet and intelligent kids who stay in, there are so many of the same type leaving. The change in attitude towards college was probably a effort to stop the "brain drain." I don't suppose there is any way to know the numbers but in my own experience, most haven't gotten baptized, those who did are "nominal" witnesses, doing the minimum while they pursue a career and try to enjoy life. I don't attend and haven't attended for a long time on a regular basis, but that is just the way it appears from my neices, nephews and cousins. Another thing is that none of the ones I know who are in or out seem to want to have kids. Maybe all kids are just waiting longer for that. I wish the kids Godspeed and hope their families deal well with them. As you all have pointed out so well, it has been no picnic for them up to the time they can make the break. People like Fred in the car each Saturday probably hasten the departure a little!

larc

Grunt,

I have met the xJw's here and in person at conferences, and I have drawn certain conclusions. As a group the JW experience gave us some good things. One is, we are generaly mild mannered, kind people (however, never piss off a pacifist!). Also, we are articulate through a lot of reading, albeit boring, and speaking, from the platform and from door to door. As a result we are not afraid to speak our mind and can do it very well. In short, the WT has trained their own advesaries. I think, as a group, we are more independent minded and contrary than those who stay. We accept each other's contrariness as a sign of growth, but those inside find it to be abhorrent. So I think we retain the good atributes we gained from the experience and leave the rest behind as best we can.

I have been to several BRCI conventions, and I have the same reaction to the people there as I do here, a feeling of warmth and affection.

Somewhere in all that verbiage, there might be an answer to your question. If not I will reread you comments and try again.

mommy

Larc,
I am going off the point and going to speak what you brought up in my heart.
I see all the different personalities on this board. I respect everyone for where they are at. Some have been gone for years and some are still in. Some are still pointing a finger and some are accepting their part of the blame. Some here definatley were in for WAY too long, and continue to carry the jw ways of thinking. It is almost like we have our own congregation and every body has "their" part.
Alot of us here are above the feeling of being right. And the feeling of being hurt by others. But some have not. That is just different personalities handling life differently.
When I was in nursing school I had as an assignment to go to a "survivors" group where everyone was able to comment about their youth. There was all types of people from all walks of life. They told horror stories, things that made me actually vomit afterward. But as the case here. Some moved on and some continued to wallow.
I don't know why I brought this up here, maybe something in your wording that brought this up. But my personal feelings are....
The past is the past....you can't change it. Even if it is horrible you can't use it as an excuse to cover up for what you do today. When you come to the realization that, yep I have been wronged(no matter how horribly). Well then it is your responsibility to change the rest of your life.
We all have a history! We all have a future! We all have the choice to change our future. If we don't and decide to blame the past, well you never really get anywhere do you?
wendy

Do Kids Hate Being JW`s?

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