I will give my husband the divorce he wants (page 4)

factfinder

I'm sorry you are going through such a rough time.

I hope the posts here can encourage you and give you strength to move ahead with what you need to do.

I'm going to see an attorney this week and seeing if I can get a therapist. I'll be writing my to-do list tonight so that I can stay focused. Important parts of the paperwork I need to submit were completed this weekend. I'm hoping to finish the rest tonight. I've been deleting jw friends from my fb list. I need to move on from that too.

I thank everyone for your advice and encouragement. I am so close to beginning so many good things. The depression sidetracks me. This transition is hard, but it will all be worth it. Iknow it. Thank you everyone.

adamah

I'm going to see an attorney this week and seeing if I can get a therapist. I'll be writing my to-do list tonight so that I can stay focused. Important parts of the paperwork I need to submit were completed this weekend. I'm hoping to finish the rest tonight. I've been deleting jw friends from my fb list. I need to move on from that too.

Great job, and you've got a plan in place!

Now, don't let anything or anyone hold you back from doing what you KNOW you can do, even if it's YOU (your own emotions and self-doubts)!

To Harriet Tubman, add the words of ex-slave and abolitionist Frederick Douglass who said,

"I prayed for God to save me from slavery everyday for decades, but the Lord didn't answer my prayers until I decided to pray with my own two feet!"

I thank everyone for your advice and encouragement. I am so close to beginning so many good things. The depression sidetracks me. This transition is hard, but it will all be worth it. Iknow it. Thank you everyone.

That's the attitude, but don't be afraid to report back with the expected set-backs, bad days, etc. That's why we're here: to give you some motivation, to help take steps that make tomorrow just slightly better than today...

Adam

AuntConnie

" I am just so scared. I have made so many mistakes. I just want to hide from the world. I figure that's the best way to stop making mistakes and to stop getting hurt."

I wish I could leave town and be far away, maybe a small town where nobody knows who I am. We both could take off and find a small farm, only go to town when the pantry is empty and nobody will know our past lives or mistakes with men and the Organization of Guilt.

Honey, hiding from the World sound's good in theory, sorry the World is going to find you. Your act of love by giving him a divorce, he desires you to seperate from him so he can chase some young flusy woman? If he is blaming you for the Limbo or Hell you are living in, he is paving a path to make the elders sympathetic once he committs adultry Girl!

You will drop further in depression under your current circumstances, "missed deadlines" are going to become a common place with your stress and depression levels growing. Are you seeing a therapist or psychiatrist to help ameloriate the internal agnony your heart is feeling? Your husband knows how to turn your buttons on and off, some men are assholes who don't care if they give you the impression "one minute their in love and want sex', next moment they are screaming at you and yelling "I want a divorce bitch!".

I think you might re-read my posts on all this cult has offered me through the years, has your husband locked you up in a room for a day? Did he steal your clothes so you could not leave the house because he was angry at you? How about leaving you in a tiny cabin near a lake with snow with four month-old baby and no money or heater while he took off for a three day poker trip?

My outlook is so twisted from the Cult, for decades I had to deal with "willful non-support", verbal and physical abuse while smiling to a happy Kingdom Hall of JWs who thought my husband was pure love and compassion!

KariOtt

You have my sympathy and friendship if you want it. I expect it when my hubby returns from the kh or service work and says the watchtower said you must divorce your unbelieving spouse. Even though my life is hell I don't want a divorce. I made a commitment with my vows. I have always fullfilled my comitments.

jgnat

Vows are mutual, aren't they? The day a partner introduces abuse, the vow is broken. The marriage is then a parody, an abomination of the heavenly ideal.

Violia

The nasty little secret is the elders will probably help him if he convinces them you are at fault. I have seen this before. they are guys and feel sorry for each other.

As i stated earlier, I know of a" brother "who "set up" 3 jws wives to make it appear they were guilty of " somethign" Some of his friends helped him. He managed to divorce 3 jws women and remarry before someone quite by chance thought it odd. ( he moved around) They did finally df him but not for long. Those jws men are out there and they know how to play the game with the elders and get out of a marriage. Divorce used to be uncommon in the 50-70's but not any longer. jws divorce at almost the same rate everyone else does. They seem to have as much infidelity as any other group.

It is futile to try hang on a man who does not want you anymore.

Diest

Women get screwed over in divorces all the time when they are too passive. If you want to submit to someone submit to your lawyers plan. You need to find a bull dog lawyer and submit to his/her decisions. When you feel bad that he/she is going to kick your abusive husbands ass you just remind yourself that they are in charge. When your husband complains about it you just tell him you are continuing to be submissive and letting your lawyer fight for you.

Start the new life off in the right way for you and your daughters. Don't be another woman who can barely survive financially because she was to nice to some abusive prick.

If you need someone to motivate you to do right in you fight pm me!

( I dont think you have to be submissive but sometimes it is hard to change everything at once. So if it helps you do what is right for you and your kids use my idea of submission.)

ruderedhead

Hang in there, dear losingit! You have been given some sage advice here. I know you are taking it all in.

I know you will do what you have to to give your girls the life they deserve, and show them what a strong woman is, that they should never allow a man to treat them as a second class citizen or doormat. I'm sorry, honey, but you must be aware that your husband is a manipulative, abusive self serving a**hole. You have to know you deserve better. Go back and re-read your post. If it was someone else who had wrote it, wouldn't you wonder why someone would want to stay with that guy? I hope you can get counselling to help you through this. Change is hard.

I just want to add that deist is spot on when he says to get a bulldog of a lawyer. I would say pitbull! AND LISTEN TO THE ATTORNEY! Too many women start to feel bad about hurting their soon to be ex. DON'T! he'll play you. HE DIDN'T PAY YOUR RENT AND WAS WILLING TO SEE HIS GIRLS ON THE STREET? NO sympathy for that dog. Please don't clue him in on anything your going to do. The element of Surprise is a very useful tool. Be careful who you share with for now. All the best to you and your girls.

flipper

LOSINGIT- Lots of good advice here from people who really care- including me and my wife. We are here for you, hang in there- hopefully the ball will get rolling soon and you can be free of this abusive person in your life. Please know that we care. Take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

I will give my husband the divorce he wants

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