Mother Forces 5 Year-Old Son To . . .

by Zandor 41 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

  • fulltimestudent
    fulltimestudent

    Zandor, amateur opinions such as ours are pointless in a complex case like this.

    I suggest that the key factor in the boy's behaviour is the highly sexualised 'training' given him by his older brother.

    And, that the only way to look at it, is not from the perspective of scandalised christian morality, but by examining what damage, if any, there may be to his emotional maturity. (I assume the boy is now around 15-16).

    Only a skillled, experienced psychiatrist who follows APA guidelines may be equipped to do that. If you live in the USA it should not be difficutl to find someone like that. Of course, if I've estimated his age correctly, the boy (young man) also surely has a say in what he wants to do.

    There may also be a legal aspect. Does his behaviour infringe legal codes - in the USA his behaviour surely would do that, not to mention his "clients."

    Putting a kid like this into gaol is surely not going to help him.

    And finally, your comment on his mother's description of his infant behaviour,

    when this particular child, M, was born, she took it very personally that the infant did not want her to hold him. She talked about how the infant would cry when she tried to hold him and wouldn't stop crying until she put him down, and how deeply hurt she felt that he wasn't like the older brother...

    may mean that autism is a factor.

    But only an experienced, professionally trained person can make the assessment. And for the boy's sake, try to steer them away from amateurs, as may find among the witnesses (and, other Chrisitians, who think that reading the Bible qualifies them to do anything) and encourage them to find professional help.

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    This sort of behavior is conducted by adults/parents who view children as objects or possessions rather than 'sacred charges'. If the mother viewed the child as an individual person who was entrusted to her (and the father) to be thoughtfully nurtured and strengthened to grow into a strong, balanced, compassionate adult, she would have left him at home.

    But she didn't. The child was a pawn in the crazy games the parents were playing.

    -Aude.

  • Zandor
    Zandor

    M is now 20.

    He is not a prostitute as wrongly surmised, but has used internet hookup sites to find older men to have sex with who will also get him high on meth. He has a history of drug abuse since he was a preteen. Marijuana since he was 13, alcohol and prescription pill abuse which lead to a dui a year ago, and he contracted HIV when he was still in high school from having unprotected sex with much older men.

    I am much too close to the situation to do any real good other than keep encouraging him toward proper counseling, and perhaps the right kinds of meds for chronic depression and persistent anxiety that he is currently self-medicating for.

    He went to his mother a few months ago to tell her about the sexual abuse by his older brother and she denied any knowledge or seeing any signs of this ongoing abuse, and then sort of relegated his feelings to the doormat she wipes her 52 year-old prom queen feet on. She claims to be the victim of emotional and physical abuse by her ex-husband, M's father, and remarried to a man who is spineless and keeps his head down while she rules the roost.

    While the children were growing up, she hosted drinking parties for all of her children and their under-age friends and thereby fostered the use of substances in her home, but now objects to M's use of substances since it does not include just drinking, but pot and meth. She makes threats, but never does anything to help her son.

  • whathappened
    whathappened

    Bitch!

  • Zandor
    Zandor

    I just want to add that M had receive a partial scholarship to attend college in NY for marketing and business. He really wanted this opportunity to get out of his mother's house, out of the town he grew up in, and try and use the momentum to move beyond his challenges with sex/drug/alcohol addiction. I watched her sabotage his efforts to get there. He needed another loan she would not co-sign for (neither would his dad), but she did cosign a loan for the older brother who squandered the opportunity and ended up in jail. He ended up more depressed for missing this opportunity and his pattern became more frequent.

    It's like the mother gets some sort of pleasure or gratification from rubbing out any and all self-esteem and confidence that ever tried to take root in this young man. She clearly wants to keep all three of her children dependent on her emotionally. The kicker is that not only did the older brother sexually abuse M til he was 13, but he had also been having intercourse with the baby sister for an indeterminate length of time. The older brother is the prince of the family.

  • rebel8
    rebel8

    I can tell you that if that was disclosed to a healthcare professional, the child abuse hotline would be called.

    Forcing children to watch sexual acts is abuse. The actors involved probably made it worse for him.

    That was one event in his life. The sexual abuse he personally experienced was probably more traumatic than that one event.

  • LoisLane looking for Superman
    LoisLane looking for Superman

    Outsiders, never really know, what exactly goes on at the neighbor's house.

    A terrible scenario comes to my mind about the older brother, "Prince" of this family.

    How did he become so deviant ? Was this behavior taught to him, from his own parents, perhaps?

    "M" knows things. Possibly, that is why his mother dislikes him so much. The young boy, did not like the family dynamics and what his older brother was up to. The "Prince" possibly liked the family dysfunction, and was a party, to it.

    How is the young sister, coping? Does anyone believe her? Is she in therapy? Is she out of harm's way, for now? Is she in foster care?

    It is good "M" has a friend in you, Zandor.

    What a sad story. I hope you will continue to help and support "M" in his struggles to escape the poisonous air, he was living in.

    LoisLane

  • Fernando
    Fernando

    Traumatic for sure.

    On the upside he does have time on his side, and can choose his future, if good friends and good therapy help him come to terms with the past, and eventually move on.

  • Found Sheep
    Found Sheep

    What the mom did was way worse than the dad. That makes me sad to hear. I hope he heals

  • breakfast of champions
    breakfast of champions

    Though my mother did not specifically do that, that is the sort of shit she'd pull with us.

    From a 43 year old perspective, I call it abuse.

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