I want to send a follow-up question to my sister who has recently cut me off

by Faithful Witness 42 Replies latest jw experiences

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  Faithful Witness

  Recently, I received this email from my JW sister:

  While I appreciate the thought, please do not send us gifts.
  Our kids are not missing out on anything other than things we try to protect them from.
  At this time, based on prior encounters and their affect on me emotionally, I think it would be best if we didn't communicate.
  I hope you can understand my decision and the fact that it is not meant to offend anyone.

  I sent her a loving and forgiving message, and know she has no intention of answering me. I don't know if she will open another email from me, or if I would be better to send a card in the mail. Here is what I am thinking of saying to her:

  Dear ,

  I can't stop thinking about that last email you sent to me. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that you did not write those words to me. That is not my sister (name) talking, and I know it is not directed at me. I am the sister who has loved you since you were born. I have always found you to be a reasonable and logical person, so I am confused by this sudden inconsistency.

  This question is for the real (name): What is causing you this fear? What have I done to deserve this unkind reaction?

  This response you sent makes no sense, based on prior encounters I have had with you.

  Try to see this from my perspective. My sister is cutting me off, for reaching out with generosity? Help me understand this cruel reaction.

  Is this a Jehovah's Witness policy, or is it something personal between us? I don't get it, and am still interested in making peace.

  Any advice you have is appreciated. I am not good at being concise with my words.
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  punkofnice

  I don't know if she will open another email from me,

  I would imagine curiosity may prompt her to open the email.

  So you have already sent this reply? Just see what comes back and if you want put it here.

  Why not send her a card with a simple message like: 'Thinking of you!'

  I am not good at being concise with my words.

  No, me neither.
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  Xanthippe

  All I would say is you are making it obvious that you think she is under cult mind control and someone else is influencing her decision. She will see that straight away and it will put her back up. A little more subtlety I would kindly suggest.
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  The Searcher

  "I wish you would at the very least explain your motives for cutting me dead. Christ himself told his followers that they must do so. (Matt. 5:23,24) It's a command for Christians, not a suggestion. Regardless of how you treat me, you will always be my sister and I will always love you."
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  Laika

  I liked your response. Refuse to 'understand [her] position' because it's not understandable.
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  OnTheWayOut

  I am with Xanthippe. It seems like a clear message that she is in a cult. That can trigger her to say "they" were right and you are "persecuting" her.

  I suggest the soft message of "I will always love you." "I would love to send gifts to the kids at any time of the year for no reasons whatsoever." Send her short messages, cards, photos, say how you were thinking of her or were remembering some event when you were kids- no matter what her answer was or will be in the future.
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  Frazzled UBM

  I liked what The Searcher said but would soften it slightly in the following way:

  "I wish you would at the very least explain why you feel the need to treat me in this way. Christ himself told his followers that they must do so. (Matt. 5:23,24) Regardless of how you treat me, you will always be my sister and I will always love you."
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  galaxie

  Why not try the old reverse phsycology. She believes, I presume, that all scripture is inspired and true, and that any good advice from the apostles should be acted upon. Quote her1st cor 13:13. Where LOVE is clearly put ABOVE faith, and that your love for her is unconditional So according to that scripture shouldn't she show love for you despite her faith? All the best to you.
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  jgnat

  It's time to let her go for a while.

  
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  troubled mind

  I like what you wrote and I wouldn't change a thing . You know her best ,and hopefully she will see she is not being authentic . Maybe it will open her eyes .