I want to send a follow-up question to my sister who has recently cut me off

by Faithful Witness 42 Replies latest jw experiences

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  ABibleStudent

  Hi Faithful Witness, DITTO what other posters wrote about just write that you love her or let her go for a few months. IMHO an email with lots of pictures of you and your family having fun and writing wishing you were there would probably have more impact on her. Please remember that she is probably being heavily influenced by her husband.

  If your mother still has doubts, help her more than your sister to critically think for herself because it might have a more significant impact.

  If you still want to confront your sister, I would recommend writing I love you, she seems more judgemental than when you were growing up, and ask how would she feel if you would stop talking with her for giving you presents just because it is a sunny day. Where in the Bible did Jesus Christ say to shun or not associate with people just because they were tax collectors or Samaritans?

  Peace be with you and everyone, who you love,

  Robert
• 

  truthseekeriam

  The only thing your sister wants to hear is that you will completely will go along with her demands....period.

  It stinks, I know.

  If you want to continue a relationship with her and the kids you will have to go along with it.
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  StephaneLaliberte

  If my sister sent me a message like this, I would drop whatever I am doing and go see her and make sure we have a final face to face talk about all this.

  In short, what are the two most important commandments? Love God and your neighbors. How can you honestly say you fully live in love and give it properly if you don’t even show love to your brother. Actually, shunning is going the other way, it is taking actions NOT to demonstrate any love. It is working against love, the very thing that Jesus held as the most import thing of all.

  What she is proposing is to kill the love between you two. If she truly wants to go to such extreme, she should be convinced, beyond any reasonable doubts that this is the right action to take as in the end, God will Judge people by their actions, not by their belonging to a group. And of course, all of our actions should be motivated by love. Is she convinced that such action is proper display of love?

  Personally, I would not let her go easy, I would request that she explains it all to me in a very clear matter. As a last resource, I would make her reflect on the very real possibility that her kids will not stay in the truth and will end up taking contact with me. Where will she stand then?
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  jgnat

  Faithful Witness is very engaged with her family, is heartbroken at how the Witnesses have broken it up, and is trying to make amends. FW is the peacemaker. What I see, due to her great heart, is she has nudged, nudged, nudged her family for a while now. Some people will react to this by lashing out, and I think this is what the sister has done. Better to leave her alone for a while, even if FW's every instinct is to rush in and fix it.

  I know if I nudge my hubby one too many times....LOL. I think some spouses do this for the sport of it, and I am just that sort of brat.
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  StephaneLaliberte

  The very problem with the JW is the constant avoiding of direct conflicts - wearther they are with others or with themselves. Right now, the siter of FW needs to face these conflicts and sending an email to say lets stop communication is avoiding these conflicts. She needs to face them head on and in her sisters very face.
  
  Jesus didn`t tell the pharases his thoughts by letters.. he told them right in their face in front of every one. She needs to stand up and take that pressure.
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  Oubliette

  Although I understand the point that Xanthippe and OTWO are making, I also think it is important to call JWs on their bullshit. Of course it's important to do it in a nice way, which I think you did. Her behaviour makes no sense.
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  KateWild

  FW,

  You have done well with trying to show your sister her true personality and her other cult personality. You are distinct and concise. I hope she will think about what you have written to her. You have been, kind, loving consistent, stable and patient. Well done very good letter. Kate xx
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  Faithful Witness

  I haven't sent anything yet.

  I agree that a face-to-face meeting would be a better way to approach her, but I don't think that can happen. This is really hard to arrange, because she lives in another town. If I knew when she was going to be at my mom's house, I could just show up coincidentally. When this has happened before, they rush out the door before I even get out of my car. They make quite a spectacle about it, and then I go in with my kids, and talk to my parents like everything is normal.

  I forgive them. Somebody needs to act rational in this situation.

  I like the points you all have made. I am still leaning toward reaching out to her once more, but I will sleep on it. I know I won't change her behavior or mindset, but I would like to make her think.
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  Faithful Witness

  I don't know that it would actually dawn on her, that she is under mind control, or that there is even a possibility of that even existing. She lept at the chance to put on her new personality. I would like to remind her how far from reality she has gone.

  I have made many mistakes in this process. Thanks for your insights. I'm going to keep quiet for now, and continue communicating with my mother and the rest of the family, as if we are all normal people.
• 

  sunny23

  "I wish you would at the very least explain your motives for cutting me dead. Christ himself told his followers that they must do so. (Matt. 5:23,24) It's a command for Christians, not a suggestion. Regardless of how you treat me, you will always be my sister and I will always love you."

  I like the idea but the scripture uses the term "brother" and if you are disfellowshipped (aka no longer one of JW), then you wouldn't fit the criteria of the scripture according to JW's most likely. I think your original draft response is best, emphasize continuing love.