Thank you for all ur welcomes. My story? It's really not that interesting. I was the only child of mixed race in a single parent white family, my mum hooked up with the jw wen I was about 6, I remember the meetings field service and nightmares I had every night about Armeggeddon, because I still played with my school friends rather than be bullied and if I got slapped I slapped back, it was my nature, I remember being spanked a lot because I said what I thought and I remember never really understanding anything but knowing how to explain it, i was very interested at that young age in the spiritual things and I was most intrigued by the 144,000. I remember studying the revelation book the first time it came out I think my mum was disfellowshipped not long after that... Anyway during one bible study I asked innocently how the anointed know they are so I was told its a personal experience & they just know, and I said something like I could be one of them & I was laughed at & told no no no ur not one of them. so I asked how could he know since it's a personal experience, and only I and God would know... I still have no answer it was very amusing to the study group that I could be so silly to think I a little black girl could have a heavenly hope... Note I'm not a racist but you will see my point about race soon... Anyway my brother was baptized at 11/12 & I was being pressurized but I couldnt do it, at that point I didn't know what the unforgivable sin was but I assumed it was leaving the jw after baptism I.e being disfellowshipped... & i couldn't dedicate myself to something I did not understand... So my mum left because she was participating in worldly activities with other sisters (party) and after a few months of uncles & aunts coming to collect us for meetings we were left to our own devices. The elders visited my bro but didn't give a toss about me because I wasnt baptized and so I guess I didn't affect their statistics... So I went into the world feeling as though I didn't quote helier the wt but what if... I lived in fear of every war report political upheaval lightening bolt thunder clap... It's ridiculous the amount of fear and self-loathing that permeated my teenage life... I was 12/13 wen my mum left and I immeidiatly rebelled, had a beautiful daughter when I was 16 & then worried my baby would die to... Then I started to look for God... I started some research on the wt... A lot of the old prophecy and ridiculous occult methods of attaining doctrine & support is diabolical!!! so much stuff... Anyway my mum went back and is a wheelchair bound publisher at 65 years of age. It's ridiculous... She's not well! However she will hear not a word said against her beloved wt society and relies on them for her food at the proper time. It breaks my heart to see the level if brainwashing. I guess I'm here to see if I can finally show her some truth based on their own publications as she refuses to read anything non wt. As Jesus said " by their own words let them be condemned.... Getting back to the race thing... It's an accepted fact that Jesus and his counterparts were not white & definitely not white Jewish. However nowhere in ANY wt publications are ANY of the men of old depicted as black... Race doesn't matter but when we have a world full of a mixture of races is it not offensive that the wt through its illustrations shows all non whites that they have no place in Gods kingdom? That they are not in scripture unless ur Ham or the Eunuch... If race isn't an issue why are there no pictures of black bible characters??? Lastly just as an opinion. My life became so pointless I had no desire to plan for tomorrow it's only now after 30 years of recovery that I realise Armeggdon isn't coming. Not for now anyway. Also the wt must see that now after three studies of revelation to firmly implant the knowledge in jw head that now the book needs rewriting? Id feel cheated if I'd have sat down for all those hours underlining n reading the same scriptures over n over again just to be told oh no... That's been moved into the future. also how have they explained the fact that they've been wrong for over a decade because saying something has happened and then saying it hasn't are two opposing statements one is true & one is false. They cannot both be proven right. Responding active jw's, don't you get that?
