by dissonance_resolved 84 Replies latest members private
Always, always, always make copies. it's called LEVERAGE !
Let me throw out an idea that is purely hypothetical. Got that?
Suppose somebody anonymously sent out letters to lots of ordinary congregation members warning them about this situation - and was also careful about where such letters were postmarked and used a return address of a neighboring KH. After these letters hit, you could claim that's how you found out.
Ka Boom
metatron
metatron: I wrote something similar to that advice and deleted it. I think it is a difficult situation when you factor in the victim of this pedo who might find it traumaticing.
That is a fair consideration. Perhaps it could be phrased in such a manner as to omit the victim's name.
In balance, a decision would have to be made otherwise as to exposing the victim vs preventing future problems.
An ugly matter - with many factors to consider...
metatron
DR'S first concern should be her children. She may have to use some leverage to reason with her husband who, as she stated, may feel she is making excuses to keep her children from going out in service. If he is a die hard JW he will side with his F in L and even refuse to see the evidence. One of this message board member "Life's too short" an ex Beth elite has been threatened by the elders not to reveal the identity of a pedophile she refused to go out with in service...You never know how things may turn out, so it's better to have all the evidence in hand. As far as the victims, I wouldn't know how to handle this...they may even deny anything ever happen or even that they forgave and forgot.
It is a complicated situation. I thought about taking pictures of the docs with my phone, but it felt so wrong. This whole family, including the victims, are our dear friends and I'm sure would be devastated to know that anyone else knows about this. I agree that I have to find a way to tell my husband. If he doesn't believe me, then maybe I go back and get copies. I can't deal with my dad right now. The idea that he knew this and didn't even try to tell me without naming names repulses me.
Dis, is there any way you can get a photo of these notes without you Dad seeing you? Perhaps you could show them to your husband, telling him how wrong you know it was of you to go through your Dad's bag, but it is important for him to see this in order for him to protect his children. Ask him not to say anything to your father right now. You need time to digest this.
While I would suggest not taking sides in order to keep your husbands mind open, I would ask your husband not to allow your children to go out with this man in service,or to be alone with him, even if he is with them, just to be safe. It doesn't matter if the molester was never brought to justice right now, the issue is protecting your children. Remind your husband that molesters don't do this in front of others, so there will not be any witnesses.
My heart goes out to you, dis. You are in a lousy position, but the children are the important thing here.
DR...just remember that your dad is trained (brainwashed) to follow instructions provided by the WT organization and he may be absolutely convinced these cases were handled the way Jah wanted it. Elders take pride in following instructions to the tee. It may appear the victims and the perpetrator are doing well and enjoying Jehovah's blessing...so everything must be alright. Unfortunately it's a known fact pedophiles represent a high risk to re offend and your children must be protected. Talk to your husband for the sake of your children. You don't have to divulge who were the victims...just the perpretator.
You are in the very same ethical dilemma anyone is in when they have deliberately looked through other people's private possessions and found something alarming. Quite apart from the sensitive and most likely highly confidential information you have found, what possessed you to snoop? What would the alleged victim feel about her sensitive information been uncovered by yet another party? I suspect your father does not know you do this sort of thing.It is one thing to learn this sort of shocking thing from another party or source but to learn it by going through your father's personal property behind his back is quite another moral dilemma. A problem whichever way you look at it.
you could photocopy the letters, tell your husband that you know its wrong, but also tell him JEHOVAH MUST HAVE MADE YOU FIND THEM FOR A REASON.
check into state laws. In some, OK for example, any regular citizen who has reason to believe that there has been child abuse has a duty to report it. You now have a reason to believe that such things have happened. Your dad even more so (does he get a clergy exemption in your state/locale?) this is bigger than your family situation and I hope that you don't play the WT game of judging whether or not it is worthy of going to the police. Tell them and let the chips fall where they may. (if you or your dad have any responsibility to do so-otherwise, might want to talk to an attorney about your options for the sake of the victims and regarding justice for the accused)
