What is the biggest regret or source of resentment because of being a Jehovahs Witness?

by stuckinarut2 76 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Bungi Bill

  That is an easy one to answer:

  - being currently about halfway through an Advanced Diploma course in electrical engineering, and very much what is now described as a "Mature Age Student."

  (At the same age as I am now, my father was counting off the last few months until his retirement).

  So, yes, for their anti education stance alone, I curse the WTS / GB (or whatever else you want to call them) all the way to bloody hell - and then back again!

  I would also add to this my regrets that the religion of the JWs is very family unfriendly - not JUST the shunning policy, although that certainly plays a part. I now cringe when I recall the things I made my children endure, out of blind obedience to that a of twerps in New York, and their imagined direct telephone line to God.

  Bill
• 

  sarahsmile

  So called "non JWs" "worldly"as soon as they here I was raised as a JW they look at me as I had an awful disease,so I have to hide my crap childhood.

  Over the years,some "worldlies" will come out and say they have nothing in common with me, because nothing really to share. Favorite school dances, holidays, Christmas, birthday year. School activities such as sports and clubs. Their best times ever and I had none.There is nothing. Anyhow, I have learned to say nothing.

  So it is a catch twenty two, the things I regret also are the things that would have bonded fond memories with others.

  I live in the now and even somethings I still wonder about. Every year, how nice it would have been to celebrate Mothers Day and Fathers Day. Maybe they would have done things different and lived longer if the expression of gratitude were given.
• 

  Julia Orwell

  That I didn't use that time to develop myself as an artist and writer. That I didn't save all that money I made when I was younger for a house rather than spending it all on clothes and shoes for the meetings and witnessing. That I've developed chronic clinical depression from my years in the cult and may never recover. Years of fights with mum and dad over Christmas, birthdays, voting, and the things that make humans into a community. The stress I gave my parents.
• 

  Pistoff

  I missed college, could have gotten scholarships, also the sex thing, but the single thing I regret the most is raising my children in the social mirror of the WT.

  I am many years in recovery, but the thing I regret the most happened after getting clean--not trusting my own instincts with my children, not learning what real parents do.

  I have made peace with it, but there it is: I raised my children in a cult.
• 

  ruderedhead

  Not celebrating my children's birthdays, or the holidays. Those are things you cannot get back. Breaks my heart, and sometimes I still shed a tear or two over that.
• 

  stuckinarut2

  Oh wow!!!!

  when this thread was started, I had no idea which way the comments would go....I just kind of threw the question out there, mainly to see if I was the only one who felt ripped off, deprived, or frustrated over the past...

  May I please say a genuine "thanks" for everyone's open comments. I am amazed at just how similar I feel to almost every single comment you have all made.

  i am usually a strong person, but reading all these comments has choked me up.... because of the realisation that I am not alone, and that the feelings I have been dealing with are not uncommon or unique to me....

  perhaps the best comment was from datadog.. "Our 'choices' were never really our own"

  i genuinely think I need therapy...some real wounds have just opened up.....
• 

  sparky1

  Regrets............here is my list.

  1. Not being able to graduate High School in the 10th grade because my fanatical JW mother thought it would be too hard on me to skip grades when I was younger. Then when I got to the 9th grade my guidance counselor refused to allow me to take 10th, 11th and 12th grade English during Summer school so that I could graduate 2 years early. I had enough credits in the 9th grade to graduate High School and was only missing the required High School English courses. So I quit school and became a Pioneer.

  2. Becoming a Bethelite at 19.

  3. Not going to college. My Grandfather wanted to pay my way through Law School. I wanted to become a Doctor and go to Medical School.

  4. Not getting married and having children. This was the early 70's after all. Just wait a few more years and you can marry someone that survived Armageddon and you will know that they love Jehovah! And your children will be born into perfection!

  5. Not seeking professional help for my life long depression until I was 50 years old!
• 

  losingit

  Biggest regret: raising my oldest in the cult. She's 10, but 10 years of being a born-in has to be awful. We are making up fpr lost time now. Thank goodness she has a forgiving heart and is full steam ahead about getting on with her life.

  Second regret: not cultivating friendships outside of jws during my time in. Now that my ex and I ate divorcing I have NO NETWORK of friends to help me thru this time. And I'm not the type to make friends easily. So once those jws left, I knew I would be flying solo with my girls for a long while.

  Here's to the rest of my life!I'm looking forward to the next 15 years of freedom and beyond! !!
• 

  twice shy

  Partaking in Communion
• 

  Phaedra

  A virtual born-in pulled into the collective before I could speak, my whole worldview, mental, and emotional disposition was shaped by this organization. I was never allowed to naturally grow and bloom into the kind, caring, creative me that I was intended to be. When I left in my 20s, it took me years to figure out where the JWs ended and I began.

  Phae