About the reporting of the YMCA meet ups and you telling the other Jws and the elders. They will not chastise this person infront of a new prospective member. The last thing that they would want you to see is a current member being counseled about something so silly.
Here is a video showing the article from the Jws stating that fact. The video actually has another reason behind being made but it covers the YMCA issue perfectly. There is so much you need to know, we are trying to help you with this and I know that you are hearing some conflicting info and I would like to share a few other links where you can go to get info about this "High Control Group" aka cult.
See Steven Hassan, cult expert, website at freedomofmind.com and see that he list the Jws as a High Control Group. Look up the BITE model from Steven Hassan to see HOW the group will eventually, if you continue to buy what they are selling, control you and your husbands life. There are some great videos from user Brad Zook on youtube showing how the BITE model relates to the Jws.
Also consider checking out jehovahswitnessrecovery.com for plenty of other meembers input on your questions. The time you are spending now researching this group, that we were all involved with, WITHOUT BIAS, will show what they have done in the past. Psssst,.. Don't focus on their carrot they are dangling out infront of you, they do not control the carrot. Several of the comments you have made show that you are experiencing confirmation bias a bit, you cannot swallow the idea that these people are not telling you the truth. The people themselves can be very nice and I agree, they are nice. But this does not prevent them from being also douped.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-Jqc6zwyNs
Here is the first of a four part series explaining how the BITE model is used by the upper management of Jws to Keep you inside the group.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szHRlEQsPd4
You need to look at this group and their teachings as you were a person that had nothing to gain or lose by discovering the actual teachings and history about the group. Once you are buying into the carrot they dangle, it could be too late to see it from an unbiased condition.
Also check out this site. It shows other info to show if the Jws might be a cult group. Now remember that a group does not have to meet all the indicators to be considered a cult. Also understand that they will not be sharing this info and they will actually work toward preventing you from finding out this info by telling you not to look anywhere online except jw.org when researching the jws. BIG FLAG, a group should not be afraid of critical info about the group. The truth can stand on it's own, if it truly is the truth.
http://www.cultwatch.com/howcultswork.html
We really do want to see you through this research. Take you time and be sure to look up critical thinking to gain an understanding on how to work this out with as little bias as possible. I can see that you are already having a leaning toward buying into their beliefs and truly need to look into what we are saying.
Here is a video teaching some basics of critical thinking.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OLPL5p0fMg&list=TLNBGXiLZAo5OIbwLgRX0HNOeulz1DfXmr
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