I want to communicate better, and would appreciate your help.

KateWild

On another thread, I have been accused of lying and being rude or out of order. I started another thread about my disability sometime ago, it can sometimes get me into to trouble but the last thing I want to do is to mistreat people.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/members/private/267680/1/What-is-my-Disability#.U3n2kvldW8A

Another poster wrote this

If you don't like what happens next, you really should re-evaluate how you treat others.

This has really upset me because I think a poster is trying to set me up and get me banned, I really don't want to get banned. So please help me if you can, look at my posts and tell me how I can communicate better, I would really appreciate your help. Help me identify what I did wrong and what I should have done instead. JWN is a huge crutch for me, I am addicted to it at the moment, but I am slowly weaning off, it would be so stressful if I got banned because of my social skills and my ASD.

Thanks guys

Kate xx

confusedandalone

I would suggest not worrying about it. I was banned for not agreeing with the tray von Martin issue. Entirely possible was banned for being too witty. Eventually you get to come back. Because alot of people here are super sensitive you will always be accused by someone for being rude or arrogant etc...

I find nothing wrong with the way you express yourself or the subject matter of your threads. Keep doing what you are doing

punkofnice

Kate.

The problem with the written word is that it doesn't reflect the subtle nuances of the emotion behind the speech. The written word is flat and can be very ambiguous.

If I were to write: 'I think you're OK.'

What would it mean? Is it a compliment or insult? Am I saying you are a good person or you havemore money than you deserve?

Perhaps insert more smily faces???

Are you able to type the words as you would say them in conversation? Natural? Even if the syntax is all wrong you can convey yourself perhaps.

Just a couple of thoughts

KateWild

I find nothing wrong with the way you express yourself or the subject matter of your threads. Keep doing what you are doing-CAA

That's beause your son has ASD too and you probably understand it better than most. Also CAA, I think you could have some traits too, what do you think?

Thanks for your support

Kate xx

new hope and happiness

Wow...how can a person communicate better than revealing so much background information info about themselfs? I mean i think that is the most infinitely preferable style of communication there is..not many people are capable of such strength . Your confrontations with other posters from what ive read i wouldnt be to hard on yourself. My advice just walk away sometimes..

KateWild

Perhaps insert more smily faces??? -Punky

I think that's a good idea, I will certainly do that. Thanks very much.

Certain threads can become very heated though and many posters seem to be being aggressive. It is hard to strike the balance when someone responds to my posts in a way that I think is rude. I deliberately stayed out of a thread because I thought it was not genuine, after a few pages I noticed I was right. The topic was of interest to me, but I predicted I would be verbally abused, and it did escalate to that because I was trying to defend myself.

Some posters say they're not being rude when they are and telling me I am lying when I am not. It makes me feel like I am in WT land again. I do hope I don't get banned.

Kate xx

Viviane

Since you are clearly referring to me, I'll join in.

I don't have a problem with you or dislike you. My writing style is toneless on purpose to avoid people reading intent into because it's the worst form of communication for nuance. Punkofnice said that same thing quite well.

I am not being rude to you. I was not trying to get you banned. You read that intent in there. Think about it, why in the world would I try to get you banned? I honestly don't care enough about you to get you banned. You and this forum just don't have enough of an impact on my life for that or the effort it would require to matter. I don't say that to be rude, but rather to be honest. It's just not something that's the Venn diagram of "things that matter to Viv".

I will try to realize that you need to be talked to a certain way and accomodate that. I would appreciate it if you would stop making assumptions about meand posting them as true and stop asking questions about my personal life or pretending to know anything about me. Accept what I write on it's merits and leave it at that.

Laika

Sometimes the problem is the other person and not the way you communicate. In these cases it's best just to stop engaging the person, life's too short for bad faith arguments.

Oh, and if you don't want to be banned, don't publish any PMs, even abusive ones! ;)

confusedandalone

Kate I think it is cultural as well. Some cultures are definitely straightforward in expressing themselves. I have always been told "Don't beat around the bush" , "put it out there". It has always been encouraged because it is the only way to get to the truth.

My son is definitely the same way, and some people are off put by it but the thing is he is telling the blunt truth. Had someone told us the "truth" and been straight-forward with us we would have saved ourselves alot of pain.

It appears that a few men in my family have been diagnosed and a number of their male children. I would not doubt if I also have the same traits as well. If nothing else it has kept me honest.

KateWild

My advice just walk away sometimes..- new hope

Spot on! This is my problem, I like the last word and I know it. I will work on it. Thanks for being honest. Kate xx

I want to communicate better, and would appreciate your help.

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