I want to communicate better, and would appreciate your help. (page 6)

DJS

Ah Kate, a delicious combination of strong/vulnerable, rational/passionate, conciliatory/catfight. What's not to love. Whether you mean to or not, Ive noticed that most of your OPs draw a lot of men seeking to help the damsel in distress. I'm one of them. Sad, I know, but it is what it is. I have a Y chromosome and can't help it. It 'get' where you are coming from typically, but ONLY because you are freshly out of the Borg (I think you are, aren't you!!!) and hurting. Most, if not all of us, have been there. You do not hesitate to show your vulnerabilities, which is alluring to us simple minded males and catnip to caring females.

You are never so attracitve as when you show those vulnerabilities. Except when you are catfighting. How else can you explain so many posts in such a short period of time.

I understand your angst. I've been there. Platinum and jewels for the frame with a pink border, right?

Oubliette

What DJS said ^^^^

LisaRose

One think I thought of. I used to work with a guy that I now realize had Aspergers. At the time I just thought he was a bit different. We got along well utill I did something that hurt his feelings, he then went on a mission to get back at me. He was quite single minded about things. He was quite smart, brilliant really, but could be almost childish about a few things. We eventually patched things up, but it was so unnecessary.

Maybe, when someone says something that you perceive as an insult, you could take a step back and think about whether there might be an alternate explanation for the comment, or that it was at the least not intended as insulting as you perceive it. I am not saying that is what you do, it's just that your communications style is very direct, you quickly form opinions and are quick to take action. This is not a bad thing, but perhaps it does not serve you well in a debate. You seem sincere in looking for feedback, so I thought I mention this as a possibility.

millie210

Beautifully put DJS.

Ding

Kate Wild,

For what it's worth, you haven't offended me at all.

konceptual99

Hi Kate. I enjoy reading most of your posts and don't consider you rude. Since you asked for opinions, all I would say is...

1 - don't assume there is a direct link between having been a JW and the fact someone may have a different opinion to you. Not everything is because down to brainwashing and cult membership.

2 - having posted 3400 times in a relatively short space of time makes you regular poster. It's not a competition however and has no bearing on the value of your contributions. I don't think it's necessary to wear it as a badge of honour.

3 - stick to addressing the main point of a post and, if you disagree, then develop a logical point based on reasoned argument. Debate will not always result in agreement but it does not have to be needlessly combative.

Other than that you're fine ;-)

All the best - k99

steve2

This website can be wonderfully affirming and, sometimes for some, surprisingly rough - I think mainly because few people are identified by their (full) name and location. When our personal identity is not in full view, it is easier to be frank and even blunt with people. It's human nature. We see it with motorists who hidden from full view can engage in rude driving behaviours - yet, as individuals, they may be well behaved and decent.

KateWild

Wow, so many responses while I was sleeping. I am using a phone atm so I will try and get back to you all in due course. Some very constructive ideas. Thanks. Kate xx

KateWild

Thanks OUTLAW for your humour you cheered me up, and I get your point. In some cases a wet fish is all you can do. Kate xx

KateWild

Twice shy, thanks for your support and advice. Many echo the same advice not to read too much into what others post. This is very constructive as I have a habit of reading between the lines and telling others what they are like. If someone did this to me I would appreciate it, so I didn't realise how socially uncceptable it is, especially as others do it. I will take this on board in the future. Kate xx

I want to communicate better, and would appreciate your help.

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