I'm afraid I'd be single for life

by ohnightdivine 65 Replies latest social relationships

  • ohnightdivine
    ohnightdivine

    This is quite embarrassing for me to share, but as a 30+ year old single female I have lingering doubts as to whether I can still meet a decent man and get married.

    You all know how difficult it is for sisters to find an appropriate partner in the congregation.. and now, all the more so that I've learned TTATT. I still am bound by low self-esteem, and I do have trust issues, especially with men. I am very lonely and so I just keep myself busy with work to avoid depression (although it is also a great source of stress).

    Any other single females out there having similar thoughts?

    How are you coping?

  • clarity
    clarity

    OND..... don't give up if that is what you want!

    *

    I was 'kept' in solitary confinement' for decades,

    you know........ must not marry out of da truf. Such a self defeating situation!

    It would have been helpful if they came right out

    and said "hey the watchtower org is 73% female",

    so your chances of finding a male are slim to none!

    *

    So sweety, get out there where the population is

    pretty much 50 -50. You've got 8 billion people

    to check out and half of them at least, are male!

    clarity

  • KateWild
    KateWild

    How are you coping?- OND

    Hey, I am single and 40. I don't know if I want to meet someone yet, but I would in the future. I am not really lonely, I miss my son terribly and have felt isolated, but JWN keeps me busy, I have made some nice friends on the board and been to meetups.

    That's how I've been coping. I am different from you because I am divorced and have kids, so the need I had for family has been satisfied. My kids are great and a big part of my life in different ways. Now I am single I enjoy my singleness at JWN meetups.

    I am on FB groups too in the UK. Are you in the UK?

    Kate xx

  • FL_Panthers
  • Quarterback
    Quarterback

    Pretty soon the work in China will break out, and you may have a chance of someone from China. Hang in there.

    Sorry, I shouldn't make lite of your delema. You never know how the future unfolds, It helps when you don't think too much about it. Think about the misery that couples are now having due to making desperate choices.

  • LisaRose
    LisaRose

    Don't give up, you are still young. Although I am married, I would rather be single than be married to the wrong person. I was stuck is a bad marriage for 28 years, it's what finally drove me out of the JWs. Although my ex did not beat me anything, it is miserable to be with someone you have nothing in common with and who never takes responsibility for his actions. We lived in the same house, but it was not a marriage. I finally couldn't take anymore and left, my only regret was not leaving sooner.

    I then married the love of my life at age 45. We have been happily married for almost 14 years, and while I am sorry it took me that long, it was worth the wait. So don't give up hope, live your life to the fullest, try new things, take trips, get yourself out there and meet people. It really is a numbers game, the more people you meet, the better chance you have of meeting someone compatible.

  • James Brown
    James Brown

    I am a male. I have been married since I was 18. It has been wonderful.

    Having said that. If you have made it to 30 without getting married.

    It probably is not that important to you.

    So I wouldn't worry about it.

    Just live your life, if it happens it happens.

    But if you want to be proactive and do something about it.

    Try eharmony.com

    http://www.eharmony.com/online/?cid=66103&aid=1001&kid=GOGsUOYJlqP8_dc&keyword=eharmony&pcrid=36132732099&mt=e&gclid=CN2gpfL49L4CFbRj7AodaB8AEg

    They are also advertising where they have a good 10 year success rate.

  • Separation of Powers
    Separation of Powers

    Better lonely than miserable---

    Being married for the sake of being married is not the answer.

    The apostle Paul said "Widen out!" That means expand your horizons. If you are resolute to only marry a JW, than that would mean visiting other congregations, becoming a pioneer, visiting Bethel as a volunteer, doing things that make you noticed by a "climber" who wants to have a sidekick support him in his spiritual mobility.

    If you want someone to love, first you must love yourself. Be healthy. Keep in shape. Do little things for yourself like growing in your knowledge of the world, culture, art, wine., music. These things are not "vanity" they are the little things that make us different than the animals. They are a recognition of our abilities. Get to know them!

    While you are getting to know them...who knows? maybe someone will want to get to know them with you and VOILA!

    SOP

  • ohnightdivine
    ohnightdivine

    I just tried eHarmony. After spending 15 minutes answering numerous questions, I got an "I'm sorry but we could not find any match for you."

    Aww, I think I have too much time today. Must... log off...

  • ohnightdivine
    ohnightdivine

    Thank you all for your responses. I'd have to agree that I need to love myself first.

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit