I'm afraid I'd be single for life

by ohnightdivine 65 Replies latest social relationships

  • Apognophos
    Apognophos

    After spending 15 minutes answering numerous questions, I got an "I'm sorry but we could not find any match for you."

    LOL, how is that even possible? That's terrible. They might as well say, "I'm sorry, but you're a weirdo who will never fit in."

    Anyway, I'm around your age and have always been single, though in my case I'm not sure I consider it a problem. But what I'm doing before I even consider a relationship is (a) making sure that I'm totally free and clear of this religion (probably moving far away), (b) finding a career that is steady but also enjoyable (unlike my current one), and (c) working on myself as a person so I feel better about myself and more confident. I know that until I do those things, I'm not ready to inflict myself on someone else Not sure if this is helpful advice, but that's how I see it.

  • nonjwspouse
    nonjwspouse

    I think one of the main reasons my brither in law succumbed to the "return" urgings of his mother, aunt and cousin, is that hs is still single and about to turn 50. For a guy in the hall, especially if he rises through the responsibility ranks, which he could easily do, he will then have a gaggle of younger females surrounding him. He is nice, ok looking, odd sense of humor but is a jolly fellow, has a stable job and owns a home so he would be a good catch for a JW gal.

    It's sad really because there are giirls outside the hall, but his main problem was the initial socialization. That is taken care of in the hall, so poof. Another one bites the dust and will probablly be baptised this year.

  • FL_Panthers
    FL_Panthers

    Could always try adult friend finder

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Oh Night Devine, .....I haven't been here for a while. I am going to be 55 this month. Was married for 35 years, and my husband up and dumped me.... at 50. So I moved in with my mom, a JW, and I was lonely, tired, a smoker. Got my self a job and worked my butt off. Made new friends, found myself. I wasn't looking to date or get married. In fact I had decided it was all over.

    I visited a cousin and she insisted I needed to start dating. For the life of me I couldn't picture it. She made me join Match just for a month. I was mortified! She took some pictures and posted them and helped me write a profile.....it was pathetic, I assure you! I got lots of responses, but there was one fellow who I hoped to hear from after reading his profile. He responded and we went back and forth for a week on the internet. After that we exchanged phone numers. 3 weeks later we met in person and it was magic. We are so happy.....we were meant for each other. We have lived together for over a year and its like we've known each other all of our lives. We adore each other.

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    ohnightdivine, get yourself in order, enjoy your freedom, do the things you want to, take classes and join the clubs that you did/could not join before. Just live your life, find the things that give you joy and if you meet someone, you meet someone.If you dont, you will be enjoying YOUR life anyway.

    Have fun! You do have much better odds out of the org. If you are working or going to school, don't demurr too much if you are offered "blind dates". Don't prejudge, keep yourself safe and just figure that every experience (even awkward dates) adds to you as person. Connections are very important to the exJW as we are limited by our past to some degree. Open yourself to new experiences.

  • Mandette
    Mandette

    OND!

    Hang in there! I didn't get married until I was 45. It took me that long to find the right one. I wouldn't settle for anything less. And it was well worth the wait.

    And the others are right. Enjoy yourself. It will happen when you least expect it. I know that's a cliche' but that's exactly what happened to me!

    :)M

  • clarity
    clarity

    Hi Mandette nice to see you on here. I remember

    when I first joined in 2010 .... you commented on

    one of my first threads! Thanks btw.

    clarity

  • Mandette
    Mandette

    Hi Clarity,

    Good to see you. I'm hit and miss here. Unless something bothers me then I'm on more. Thus here I am :)

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    This is quite embarrassing for me to share, but as a 30+ year old single female I have lingering doubts as to whether I can still meet a decent man and get married.

    Work on your self esteem. A confident person attracts healthier people, friends or romantic partners.

  • FlyingHighNow
    FlyingHighNow

    I'm 55 so I don't have that biological clock ticking. I am very selective. I know what works for me and what doesn't. I know who I can get along with and who I won't get along with. I turn down offers for dates most of the time. I can usually tell very quickly whether we'd be wasting each other's time. I have a good, platonic friend and honestly, most of my close friends are men. It would be nice to find a really great, holistic connection with someone that also includes chemistry and romance. I've had it before and honestly, it kind of ruined me for lesser connections.

    All the low self esteem messages you're playing in your head are a form of brainwashing. They are not true. Remember that when you go working against yourself. Don't work against yourself.

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