I came across this lecture at 3am not being able to sleep by Dan Baker. It details his transition from Christian fundamentalist to atheist and the various shades in-between. He realises that every denomination of Christian can open the Bible and prove to you that they have the right interpretation and everyone else is wrong. The Bible can be used to prove just about anything you like.
"God is not the author of confusion". Can you think of a single book that's caused more confusion than the Bible? What is literal and what is metaphorical? Everyone thinks that they have the right way and they all disagree with each other. And Jesus does not return and God is silent for thousands of years and never shows himself.
How on earth are we meant to believe in any of it? Faith based upon nothing is madness.
If I am honest with myself the whole idea of a non-provable faith in anything is seeming more and more to me like believing in fairy stories. I personally can not prove a single thing of what I believe. I can't even defend it. What business do I have in believing it in the first place then? Merely saying 'because the Bible says so' is no longer enough as we already know they Bible can say anything you want it to.
I also can not prove that the Bible is anything more than an old book that not a single person in history has ever understood. How can I ever possibly hope to.
"Let's be honest here.. there simply is no verifiable testabable evidenece for a God.. if there was someone would have won the nobel prize by now".
He also discusses the hypocrisy and insincerity of acting like you believe something when you don't. (ie: attendance and participation at meetings and ministry) Something very many in here do and have done for years.
Here's the lecture. You may find that a lot of what this guys says resonating with you. It certainly does me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmPqUkB-mVE