just what am I supposed to believe now??

by purrpurr 94 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  Fernando

  What you choose to believe is deeply personal, and should be arrived at through patient personal investigation and reflection. This is a process, not an event.

  The worst thing one can do is allow others to choose our beliefs for us. Human agendas are often self-serving, although disguised as "help".

  And when you hear "thus saith the Lord" or "we've been appointed over you by God", run for your life. Seriously.

  Personally I believe in God and have found a vibrant spiritual life and faith due to rejecting religion and pursuing instead the liberating and transformative gospel map hidden in plain sight throughout scripture.

  I now self identify as a follower of Jesus, a Christian, a Jew, a Muslim, and someone who has received the free gift of faith by grace or unmerited favour. I am non-religious, non-sectarian and non-denominational. I also identify as SBNR (Spiritual But Not Religious).
• 

  LisaRose

  There are certainly better religions out there if you feel like you need some religion in thar, so don't let the JW experience keep you from looking into them, most of what they say about other religions is false. Don't rush to find another belief system, but be open to the possibilities.

  There is plenty of wonder and magic to be found in the world, so don't think that because may not believe in God you are destined to live a boring life. Much of what you believed was God's work is really just nature. A gorgeous sunset is just as pretty, whether you think God created it or not.

  As others have said, give it time. You will find that your beliefs will shift and change as time goes on, you don't need to decide these things immediately, or even think about them. Just put one foot in front of the other and be open to the possibilities, whether it be another religion, or just belief in the awe and mystery of science and nature.
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  Fernando

  "The endeavor to compel all men to think alike on all subjects, culminated in the great apostasy and the development of the great papal system, and thereby the gospel, the one faith that Paul and the other apostles set forth, was lost - buried under the mass of uninspired decrees of popes and councils. The unity of the early church, based upon the simple gospel and bound only by love, gave place to the bondage of the church of Rome ... Each new reform movement (like Protestantism) has made the failure of attempting to make a creed just large enough for its prime movers ." --WT, Sep. 1893, p. 1572
• 

  DATA-DOG

  It sounds like you feel you only have 2 choices.

  1) GOD of the Bible/ "answers to life's questions/knowing/purpose

  2) uncertainty/not knowing/no purpose/unhappiness

  There is a third choice. Realize that you will NEVER have all the answers in this life. Answers are not a prerequisite to happiness. It's the questions that give us purpose, not the answers. Keep questioning, keep learning. All knowledge is ultimately self-knowledge. Life just IS. It's okay to just BE. Once you learn that just being is awesome, you don't need any organized religion to do your thinking, or to be your conscience.

  You will find peace in everyday things. Strangers laughing, couples holding hands, the little child who smiles at you in the store, the breeze, your pets love of life, a guilt free nap. You can be happy alone or in a group. You can take a walk or stay in bed. You will enjoy your job more, or find the courage to get another one! People will be drawn to you and you will be drawn to like-minded people. You don't need the fear that motivates humans to huddle together in the artificial warmth and safety of organized religion.

  I quote Ferris Bueller, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

  DD
• 

  hamsterbait

  BELIEVE IN YOURSELF

  The only thing that is certain is that you are alive, make your own choices and decisions, and then DIE.

  Its what you DO with your one and only life that counts, not the fairy stories other people tell you are true.

  "I'd rather have questions I cant answer than answers I cant question."

  HB
• 

  Strangelove

  I may not be the best supplier of information, considering I still don't know what to believe.

  Believe what you want. I used to be a searcher of God, but have since stopped. In the entire existance of the human race, some have claims, yes. But none have ever actually met God as far as we know. This being he or she has never made their presense known to the Human race as a whole. So I figure, why bother? If it did happen, or the answers to everything are found, I can't even be sure if they are in my life time.

  I don't think that's my job anymore. Even when I left and said things like, "I'm still a pursuer of Truth." Which, while I still am, I meant it at the time by saying I was still looking for that right religon. Which I don't think there is one right religon. I removed that part of the JW Mentality from me. Completely turned off by Christianity. I don't even think Jesus was the best example in the world.

  I know I beleive in something, I just don't know what. My spirituality means a great deal to me. I don't have to be religious to partake in spiritual matters. When performing an asana, or taking a walk, I definetly feel there is something there. Again, don't know what, but I'd be shocked if this universe didn't have some greater purpose. But I can't prove that, and so, don't. It's just my view of the world I came up with from staying afar and watching others and doing my own research.

  I admit to being frustrated while still in and out as to what would happen if I died. I was so concerned and afraid of death while a JDub, even though I beleived in an eternal life. Why was this? Well, maybe I didn't beleive in it all the way, and the fear of having wasted all my potential was too much to confront. That there was nothing better, and if I was wrong, it would suck to have died. When I came out, I was no longer afraid to die. And yes, I admit wholly, that I was considering self termination on many instances.

  But something I came to realize, in this world where we all end up dying, why not at least try to do all the things we ever wanted to do. Helping others along the way. That part of me never changed, I don't need to be a Christian to have a desire to see others well off. Life is not only too short, but too hard as it is. Instead of making everyone's life worse, why not do any little thing we can to strive for any compassion at all for everyone. I lean on the spiritual elements of it all, that feeling I get when I love someone, see a sunset or take a hike. Is there a God? No one knows for sure. Some will say they are sure, but there will never be concrete proof. I wish that wasn't the case, but it sadly is. (Note I said concrete, I can make an argument that the stuff seen was made, but it's subjective) What happens when we die? Again, no one knows for sure, despite many claiming to having that knowledge. We all get to find out when that happens. Only proof is from the claims of others speaking of ghoslty apparations. And that is again subjective. Whether it is an afterlife, a hell a heaven, reincarnation or just plain ole unconsciousness, the human race in it's existance has yet to solidly prove any of those. Except for unconscienceousness. It doesn't matter in the end, because it's coming regardless. No one can stop it. Just be the best person you can be.

  I know it's not easy, I believe it to be called Co-Dependency. And I think pretty much anyone associated with JDubs has it, bad. These are just my views from a few months out, imagine what they'll be in a few years. It will take time. If you really feel the need for faith, I don't blame you. There are many religons, and it's up to you to search out the best one for you. Granted, being a JDub ruined this for me, as they openly condemed all religons not them and gave decent reasons.

  I recently finsihed COC, and their frankly, is no turning back. I've been thrown out into the cold without a map. Atleast, not a very readable map. There is no wrong desison in this step, just decisions.

  Be Strong and Be Wise. You're incredible for who you are and it's normal to ask just what the hell do I do now. My only advice is be more skeptical. I look forward to hearing more from your progress. ;)

  Take care. Oh, and hears a Hug.

  I know how difficult this time is, but in the end, it's really up to you what you do next. Here's another hug. Well, an air hug...
• 

  Magnum

  purrpurr, Dis-Member, millie210, James Jackson, DesirousOfChange - I agree with your posts and feel as you do.

  purrpurr: I feel like the certainty, magic and wonder has gone out of my life. This has left a huge hole in my soul. Just what do I believe in now? Is there a god?

  I’m struggling with that, too. I miss the certainty of thinking I was soon going to see excting developments on the world scene indicating that paradise was immediately ahead. I was looking forward to having forever to do all the things I want to do now but have neither the time nor money to do. I was looking forward to physical perfection. I certainly have vast interests and see magic and wonder in the world, but I want to enjoy it forever; a few years are not enough for me. Besides, there is a lot of horrible suffering going on in the world among humans and animals. I am desperate for that to end. I will never be able to fully enjoy this life we have now knowing some of my fellow creatures are suffering.

  I see strong evidence that something is badly wrong in JWdom. I remember the days when I hated for a district convention to end. I would stay in the upper levels of the faciltiy and watch all the brothers dismantling the stage, taking away chairs on the floor, etc. and feel depressed knowing it was over. I hated leaving that comforting, secure-feeling atmosphere. But those days are over.

  Now I’m struggling to determine whether there is a god, and if so, whether the Bible is his communication to man. If the Bible is not his communication, then is there some form of communication, and if so, what is it?

  millie210:

  Merely taking care of myself is not going to satisfy me long term because I am a very big picture person.

  Just volunteering isnt going to cut it either (at least long term) because I have been volunteering for years and most of that is a "feel good" hit and as temporary and corrupt in its power structure as JWs or other organized groups.

  I am trying to break it down in to 2 questions at the moment.

  1) is there a God whose creative touch I see around me?

  2) Does he have a people, or are they scattered around the earth and not organized in any form of group?

  Those words could have been mine.

  I maintain hope. If there is a god, maybe, for some reason, he’s observing our searching and questioning. Maybe that itself is the real sign of goodness in his eyes. Maybe we will get answers. The last few years I have prayed intensely for answers. I said things like “Please show me what’s right. Show me what’s wrong. Show me whether JWs are your people.” I literally went into the woods late at night and did this just so I could feel closer to him (if he existed). I never got any direct answers, however, I did begin to see much more clearly the wrongs in JWdom. Maybe that was an answer to my prayers. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a slow process. Maybe as I’ve already said the search and journey themselves are what he’s looking for.

  My next step is to read, study, and learn. Contrary to what JWs say and believe, they are kept ignorant. We, as JWs, were kept ignorant. We were kept so distracted with shallow, empty, busy work, that we never really got to learn. For example, many (if not most) JWs don’t even realize that Bible canonicity is even an issue. They never even question who chose the 66 books making up the Bible they use. They don’t think that deeply. They’re not allowed to and are not given time to.

  I want to read books on theology, Bblical history & archaelogy, how the books of the Bible were chosen (and why some potential ones weren’t), history and psychology of religion, etc. I will continue my seeking. A non-JW friend recently told me to quit seeking answers and just enjoy life, but I can’t do that. Even if I were content with my own life, I’m too concerned about suffering in the world. I need answers.

  I wonder and question and think deeply every day of my life. I’ve studied biology, chemistry, and physics, so I’m familiar with the basic sciences. I’m not some naïve person (like my mother) who just automatically attributes things he/she can’t understand to God, yet I do wonder when I think of, for example, the human brain and its ability to understand (and maybe even invent) complex mathematics and make beautiful music (and describe and understand the math behind it) and write great literature and feel compassion and control the body of a ballet dancer. I’m awed by it and I can’t help but wonder whether there is some design involved.

  My advice to you is to keep an open mind – one that is completely open, yet with a good dose of healthy skepticism. Do not give up on your seeking. Maybe if we continue to seek, we will find.
• 

  purrpurr

  Thanks for the hugs! And thanks to everyone for their kind words of insight and support. I can see now that this is going to be a long journey. Someone mentioned humanist? What is that?
• 

  Apognophos

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_humanism
• 

  Magnum

  Another point: I have wondered a lot lately about whether it's those of us who have the capacity or honesty (or whatever it is) to see the wrongs in JWdom who are the righteous ones. We used to think as JWs that we had the ability to recognize the "ring of truth" - a "ring" that non-JWs couldn't recognize. But now I'm thinking that those of us on this forum (and other doubters) are the ones who have the abiltiy to recognize the ring of truth (and the ring of untruth).

  As I observe the state of JWdom today (getting dumber and dumber, shallower and shallower, stranger and stranger, more commercial and mainstream, more unreasonable, having more members who can't recoginze logic and reason, etc.) I consider myself privileged to have the ability to recongnize that something's wrong and to have the honesty and strength to admit it.

  So, don't feel that you are somehow inferior or that something's wrong with you. I look at the masses of 100%-believing, GB-worshipping JWs and think they're the ones who are inferior and deficient if they don't recognize something majorly wrong.