That's it...... (page 3)

JWdaughter

Hello! I just want to remind you that you are a lot of things-not just an ex JW. From your letters, it is as if you are ashamed and thinking that there needs to be some disclaimer pinned to your shirt or something. The world is probably not going to look at you sideways unless you demonstrate reasons why they should. For most people, faith is more important to them than their religion. And most people don't wear it on their sleeve. You won't be forever defined as a former JW unless you make that your banner.

Please get focused on your life-your future. A partner, children, a career that you love and activities that you enjoy. We can't just forget our strange pasts, but they can turn into an interesting anecdote or the subject of some kind of expression of art or an impetus in charity-our pasts are not and should not be the standout thing in our life. Now it is a new, fresh decision and choice, but part of your choice was to leave it behind-so start putting it behind you and move to the future that you want without constantly referring to that past.

What else should we know about you now or know about your future goals? That matters more than the past-no matter how is has harmed you until now-it is your PAST, so let it live there while you move forward while you find your normal.

You can't ignore that past-so therapy will help,but please remember, you got out so that you could leave the cult and live LIFE. You really need to wrap your head around that and stop letting JW.org(think) control and define you, even to this day. When you put it behind you and move forward, it becomes a smaller and smaller thing on the receeding horizon.

When the old stuff comes up and harms you, we are all here for you.

Kind regards,

Me

flipper

WHATHEHADIS- I understand completely what you are going through. I was a born-in JW and I finally exited 11 years ago at age 44. What REALLY helped me a few years after I left was reading books on mind control - it helped me to understand WHY I was so screwed up due to the WT Society's influence. Steve Hassan's books in my opinion are a MUST read for EVERYBODY exiting the Jehovah's Witness cult. His website is : www.freedomofmind.com. The 3 books he wrote : 1. Combatting Cult Mind Control 2. Releasing the Bonds- Empowering People to Think for Themselves 3. Freedom of Mind - Helping Loved Ones Leave Controlling People, Cults and Beliefs. Probably right up there with 3 of the best books I've ever read.

This information in these books really helped me to understand the TACTICS of cults like Jehovah's Witnesses and HOW to overcome the mind control that the WT Society instilled into us. I highly recommend you read these books. I believe it will assist you with your frustration. Educating ourselves is everything and it takes work , reading, anmd access to information we need to be aware of if we are to move on from the Witnesses. We are here for you too as a support and friendship- please know that. Hang in there- take care, Peace out, Mr. Flipper

Separation of Powers

For some, belonging to this forum is not therapeutic. It is a constant reminder of the religion that has had such an impact on our lives. If you find that it does not empower you to move forward, then it may well be a hindrance to your progress.

clarity

What.......

One of the problems is that when we make a new

friend, we relax and just want to let out all our pain

& frustration of our past. Mistake #1.......

*

All this pain & frustration needs to be told to someone

who understands what the hell you are talking about!!!

.........and that is definately NOT a new freind!

*

Do not 'paint yourself with that jehova witless brush'!!

Normal people are leary of religious nuts! We were RN's.

*

Relax and enjoy being with the "worldlies" and do not feel

obligated to 'spill the beans' all over yourself. Stay quietly

listening to the conversation & just ask a lot of questions,

people love to tell you all about their lives etc.... Got it?

clarity

steve2

I echo jgnat's above words. I'd only add that sometimes it's helpful to take a bit of a break from things - like a mini-vacation.

There are aspects of your struggle that remind me of myself when I was in my 20s and trying to eke out an existence away from the organization. I appreciate everyone's situation is different, but I lived in a small town where I was always "seeing" the Witnesses and I felt so exposed and vulnerable.

Yet, with time and some inner grit - determination - I was able to keep building a life worth living. I now look back in amazement at what I have been able to achieve little by little, year-by-year. There are so many success stories on forums like JW.net - those who were raised in it, left and made it.

Do what you need to do to take good care of yourself. You are young - while time is running out for the organization,it is not running out for you. You will derive strength from this, friend! Best.

Seraphim23

whathehadas

im on skype if you ever feel the need to talk to someone. Usser name is Lappeta

Brian.

NAVYTOWN

I've always remember this: If you aren't feeling 'normal', try doing normal things. Sounds simplistic, but it often works for me. Instead of just sinking into the feeling of not being normal, just try doing simple everyday normal things. Take a walk, notice the trees, houses, large buildings, other people, animals, birds, cars, etc. Don't analyze, just notice these things and move on. Do this for at least 30 minutes. It's actually an easy-to-do activity that will make you feel more grounded and more normal. It will definitely get you out of your head and in touch with the real world. But as an adjunct, some form of professional therapy will also be helpful. These are the things I have found workable.

redvip2000

What's "normal"? I doubt that there is such a thing.

Everybody's path in life is different I used to think like you, i wanted to look back and see a different life, how it could have been, what i missed, who i could have been if I hadn't been brough up in a cult.

I now realize that looking back and wondering is not a solution, it's just frustrating. Instead i get up in the morning and I realize how incredibly lucky I am to have escaped the cult that held me back for so many years. I look at the pictures on facebook of my JW friends as they waste their lifes preaching, and other pointless WT activities and I realize how sweet my life is. I look at their faces in those pictures and I can almost see the bitterness of being forced to live as a jehovah witness. Many of them bitter for still being single and not being able to find someone in the small pool of the JW world. Others stuck in horrible jobs because the WT says that's enough to survive.

Maybe you can't make up for all the "lost" years, but look at the freedom you have goind forward. All the chains are gone. You can date whoever you want, celebrate anything, eat anything, go everywhere. Life is sweet

defender of truth

If you are still in or near Southern California..(only trying to help)

http://www.sccc-la.org/get-help-now.php

DATA-DOG

Just find some hot girl that likes stray puppies. Tell her about being raised in a cult, cry and say how you are afraid that you will never be normal. It will be all she ever wanted. You will have the perfect relationship. Problem solved.

DD

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