That's it...... (page 5)

Maybe I can reframe normal for you. I am a normal person with an extraordinarily disrupted childhood. Think of the range between normal and crazy as a continuum, with few people surviving to adulthood without some sort of baggage. Often the only difference between those who thrive and those who shrivel is a quality called resiliency.

In this frame of reference you have a shaded history but then so does nearly everyone else, just different.

I would bring up shaded history only after the third or fourth date.

jgnat

I am glad that living is coming around to the winning side. Wouldn't it have been great for Robin Williams to see the outpourings of admiration on this side of living?

You may have people down the road who will miss you the same way.

Fernando

Our JW past is not inescapable.

I was RBNS for around 40 years, and now SBNR for around 10.

Complete opposites.

Like a sex-change.

Almost all Watchtower thinking and identity cleaned out.

sd-7

I've struggled with the concept of finding a new 'normal' myself, bro. It took a lot of reading, a LOT of reading, to really get me to find a little more peace and perspective on my situation. It was therapy that probably got my mind thinking enough about myself that I could ask the questions I needed, but most of that was before I woke up, believe it or not. After, a lot of that was good friends I could trust. People who'd suffered and knew what it was to be part of this cult and what it does to you. Fact is, even though I'm not on here as much, these guys, you guys, are as close as I've gotten to having a new set of family and friends to fill the void.

Maybe on some level, that's a shame. I wouldn't wish that on you, because there's a lot you probably have to offer to others who haven't had this kind of experience. I think a big part of finding normalcy is restoring your own self-image. Being able to look in the mirror and see someone more than just an ex-cult member or the pain or damage that caused. The more you question everything and look for answers, the easier it'll become to separate yourself from the cult and its mindset. I'd recommend some time with philosophy and science and even theological studies of Christianity if that floats your boat. Any big question you might have--it could be good to find a new set of answers, you know?

It is tough. I, too, felt the pain with the news about Robin Williams. I can understand wanting to call it quits, because I've been in that place before. I get mad at myself for my mistakes and for things I'd still like to do differently in life as it is now. But it takes patience to find your way after something so earth-shattering happens. But you can find your way.

As time passes, you'll get more in touch with your authentic self and be able to figure out what it is you want to do and be from where you are now. Don't compare yourself to people who have never been in a cult--or even people who have been in a cult. You're an individual and it's not a race. You have to fill your life with something other than 'I was in a cult'. That'll look you in the face each day most likely. I just saw a pair of guys wearing JW.org badges this morning. It won't go away, but it will get better. It may ebb and flow from time to time as something triggers the old pain, but you can manage that with time and experience.

I wish there were easy answers I could give, but I'm not really the guy I'd point to as an example of how to get out of a cult successfully. I'm sure there are better folks here who have already said things you'll find more useful. I'm not in your neck of the woods, but I wouldn't mind it if you wrote me or what have you. I'm no jamiebowers, but...maybe I can be of some help.

--sd-7

That's it......

problemaddict

jgnat

jgnat

Fernando

sd-7

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