Tales from the Couch (page 2)

amicus

Awww, Seven.
Anyone here who doesn't love you, doesn't know how to love.
Of course your therapist can attempt to make you relive events that are better forgotten. Therapists are like gardeners...there's good and bad. A good one tries to make their visits unnecessary-a bad one....
I don't have a lot of professional experience with psychologists-I do have personal experience with them (known 'em more than used 'em).
I can never understand the trauma you have experienced (except that I wasn't there as your "big brother" to protect you-I know I'm not the only one here who feels this way, either). I can't comment on the value of your "sessions".
I can tell a "Seven" story however, When I first joined this DB I read one of your posts in which you said "I'm not a good writer", after that I read another of your's that described some of your interactions with your Father. When I read this story I saw a movie, not words...You told of how your father would try to get you to leave your painting ("Me, a painter"-is how I think you worded it), to go fishing with him. He was decked out in "Eddie Bauer" gear. I shop at Eddie Bauer stores and saw him in one of those silly fishing vests and goofy hats...You described how the both of you were gadget freaks...(yep, I suppose a lot of us here fit that bill). I filled in some blanks..I heard some background music...I heard Joni Mitchell's "A Case of You" (I haven't heard that song since 1971, but I heard it as I read your story):
"Oh, I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I'm frightened by the devil
And I'm drawn to those ones that ain't afraid
I remember that time you told me, you said,
"Love is touching souls"
Surely you touched mine
'Cause part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time from time
Oh, you're in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet
Oh I could drink a case of you
Still I'd be on my feet
I would still be on my feet..."
You concluded by saying that you couldn't resist his insisting that you accompany him down to the fishin' pond. There he delighted in showing you all of his unique lures...
You then told of how the two of you were seperated 'cause of the teachings of the WTS. At that point my memory fades...I block storys I hear of families being torn apart because of the evil teachings of the WTS. I HATE injustice.
You are held in high regard here. We can never replace the family that was unjustly torn from you. We can't undo the wrongs that you suffered. But we will always stand by you. JAVA posted a thread about unity on this DB a while ago...we are united in our support of you.
Amicus

larc

Amicus,

I am glad you brought back that memory. Like you, I had images of Seven and her father when she wrote that. It was beautiful writing.

mommy

Amicus,
I have to say it,"Your a good man Charlie Brown" That was so nice of you to post for Seven.
wendy

Prisca

Seven :

{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}

The others have said things better then I'll be able to express them, but I just want you to know that we all love and care for you, and will be here to support you whenever you need it.

Amicus - great post, as usual

larc

Seven,

I found a book that you might look at: "How to Stubornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything, Yes Anything." by Albert Ellis. I know his method of psychotherapy and some of his earlier works. I am going to check my local libraries and read it. I do not know how good this particular book is, but I know his ideas are very sound.
Tommorow, I might put up a crash course on his ideas.

trevor

Hello SevenofNine,

I was interested in your question about revisiting memories. The above posts contain some very good advice by people who have been through similar things to you. I liked the point about understanding being important in resolving emotional problems.

Among other things, I am a registered psychotherapist, though it is no longer my full time occupation. I was originally trained to conduct analysis, which involves reliving all the unhappy memories from the past in the hope of finding a repressed emotion that is causing the present symptom or difficulty.

As part of my training I too had to go through this process, and ended up feeling shaken and weak where as before I had no problems. It led me to examine the effectiveness of the whole process. Now I tend to concentrate a clients mind and emotion on the feeling in the present that is causing the anxiety, and then look for the specific cause firstly in the present. It can often be a present day conflict and nothing to do with the past.

If there is a beginning to this that started in the past, and it is appropriate, if asked at the right time, the client will go back to that specific memory and release the emotion that needs to be dealt with. Therapy has to be orientated in the present and look towards the future.

In short I believe that digging up all the sad events of one's life is intrusive, unnecessary and can worsen matters. Therapists who don't agree with me will tell clients that the will get worse before they get better. This does not have to be the case. Client should start to feel better form the very first session, or the therapist is stirring up emotions that should be left alone.

If handled correctly, the clients emotional or sub conscious mind can make major alterations and adjustments, without the conscious mind even being aware of them at the time. They just find that they feel happy and if there is a physical symptom caused by the anxiety, it will vanish as soon as the changes have taken place.

Most of us find a way of organizing the past in our minds and reconciling what we have experienced. Sometimes this process needs a little help, some finer tuning, but our emotional mind will resist any major upheaval that threatens to knock away the supports we have built. That is the reason Jehovah's Witnesses are so resistant to the idea that their beliefs could be wrong, it would shatter everything they have built their emotional life upon. It takes time and gentleness to change the emotional mind at a pace that it can cope with.

Hope this helps.

Trevor

Edited by - trevor on 23 February 2001 9:2:35

Seven

Amicus, Ahhh, what a guy.Thank you for your words and for the feelings behind them. I am overwhelmed by the loving responses to this thread. I appreciate your concern. I have great confidence in my therapist. There are many things that I just can't go into detail about here, that I have to come to terms with before I move on.

The fishing story about my Dad. Those were the good times-all keepers.

"A Case of You," is one of my favorite Joni's. See where she won a Grammy the other night(off camera)for her "Both Sides Now" cd. She is the queen mother. I can hear her in the music of Sarah Mc, Tori Amos and many of my other favorites.

Thanks once again Amicus for caring and for being a cherished member of my online family.

Seven

Prisca, Thank you for your support. We "island girls"( you V.I. and me
St.Croix)have to stick together. *Hugs* back atcha.

Seven

To His Royal Coolness-larc, Thanks for suggesting the Ellis book. I'd be interested in anything you would post about this subject.

Seven

JAVA

Seven,

. My goal in therapy is to move on without all the baggage. I'm working on it.

That's a realistic goal, and I'm sure you're doing it, Seven. Others have already given some great suggestions, and I want to add a comment about moving on with our lives.

I believe many people exiting sects like the JWs have a difficult time moving on because living life as a Witness is a form of suspended animation of sorts. Folks usually go through the normal life cycles of change, but I think the mental processes of growth and change for JWs is stalled or delayed. Exiting the group doesn't necessarily mean we automatically switch into the "moving on" in life process. Sometimes it takes a little help to prime the process in order to get it going again. I think that's what you're doing Seven--good for you!

Other factors might also enter into the process. For example, treating the scars of physicial and/or mental abuse some carry requires extra effort for the client and a provider with the necessary skills. It's easy to become impatient with the treatment and healing process, but that doesn't mean progress is not being made. Nor does it mean treatment needs to be exceedingly long. Larc and trevor have experience in these matters beyond my training of working with college students. I know enough that makes me dangerous in the field of counseling, so I'll end by saying I'm in your corner, Seven. I'm sure you are moving on with life, but sometimes we become our own worst advocate, thereby becoming impatient with ourselves and the progress. That's normal; don't let it get you down.

---JAVA, counting time at the Coffee Shop

Edited by - JAVA on 23 February 2001 11:35:25

Tales from the Couch

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