by Seven 57 Replies latest watchtower medical
Trevor, Thank you for your input. I'm confident that I am making progress and going forward. I'm also a rape survivor so there are more
issues involved here than just JW/family ones. I'm very interested in your comments and wish you would start a few threads in this forum or the Depression forum. This would be of great interest and help to many here. Thanks again, Trevor-much appreciated.
Seven
JAVA, You hit the nail on the head with your comment about my impatience and being my "own worst advocate." I have a tendency to set
unrealistic goals for myself(a real stress puppy)which only leads to frustration when I don't or can't meet them. I thank you for your support and comments-they are really "spot on," as Simon would say.
Seven
Red Horse Woman how right you are that someone would read those words and it would touch there soul. Seven of nine it feels as if you crawled inside my head and have been reading my thoughts and literally tugging at my soul! This is my first post to the forum although I have been a lurker for quite awhile. I have not worked up the energy or angst yet to look for a therapist of my own, the only "demons" I have are the ones the JW's have given me themselves. Eventually I will work up to it. I just wanted to thank you for such a wonderful post and not to think for a minute that there are not many people out there that are reading and feeling the same as I am!
manicmama
hey manicmama,
Nice to meet you. We, like a coffee shop or grocery store, have all kinds with all kinds of backgrounds. I think it's a great gift to be able to talk with another of a similar background. When one's down - the other can give a hand.
The Chinese peasants started a program (instituted by the government)where people in a neighborhood spend an hour or so helping older persons. It's kept in a log by a neighborhood government person how many hours you helped another person. When you get old, then that many hours are allotted to you in return. Like money in the bank, but helping hands instead. Quite literal social service.
Kinda cool. We're not literally helping hands here - but we all get down once in a while. Nice to know another usually responds.
Welcome.
waiting
Welcome manicmama! It's good to have you here. Feel free to talk about any subject here at "Cafe waiting." My online friends from this board have seen me through some rough times and have always managed to somehow find the right words. They are the best. Grab a cup of coffee and enjoy your stay.
Seven
Larc, mommy, & Prisca,
Sometimes I write things and post them…sometimes I delete them. Sometimes I think before acting…at times my decisions are totally unfettered by the thought process.
This was one of those unfettered postings-and…3:00 AM the next morning I came wide awake hoping I hadn’t said, done, suggested, blah, blah, blah, anything that could be taken the wrong way. When I finally stumbled to my PC to see if I was going to have to do battle once there, I was relieved to see your supportive comments. Thanks, for helping me slip back into a blissful stupor that morning.
Seven,
What I enjoyed most about “A case of you” appearing in your story wasn’t realized until later; when I read your post about Joni’s “Court and Spark” being one of your fav’s. I just chuckled and nodded my head thinking how appropriate it was for me to use that song as the sound track.
I just finished a Sara McLaughlin binge, which was preceded by a Joni Mitchell binge…
I’ve haven’t heard any of Tori Amos’ work…not yet. Can one binge on the music of Tori Amos????
I’ve been a fan of Joni’s since hearing “Night in the City-from Songs to a Seagull”
I dated this woman for a while who was constantly amazing me with her talents. She was a writer who supplemented her income by selling short stories to magazines; she was a silversmith and made me this cool necklace which strangers constantly noticed and complimented; she made me a shirt out of a wild African print material that never got complimented (but-I-liked-it-anyway).
The first few weeks of our relationship I would go to her house downtown ‘cause there is a lot more happenin’ in the City than the semi-rural burbs where I live (this is the part where “Night in the City” is supposed to play).
Eventually she came over to my place and after stepping inside saw my guitar sitting on its stand in the living room. “You have a Guitar!” she said, inclining her hand towards my Martin, “Do you mind?” “No, course not, help yourself.” I replied grinning.
She sat down, picked up the guitar, checking it for tune and launched into “I Don’t Know Where I Stand”, sounding and playing as much like Joni as anyone could.
“Funny day, looking for laughter and finding it there
Sunny day, braiding wild flowers and leaves in my hair
Picked up a pencil and wrote “I love you” in my finest hand
Wanted to send it, but I don’t know where I stand
Telephone, even the sound of your voice is still new
All alone in California and talking to you
And feeling too foolish and strange to say the words that I had planned
I guess it’s too early, ‘cause I don’t know where I stand
Crickets call, courting their ladies in star-dappled green
Thickets tall, until the morning comes up like a dream
All muted and misty, so drowsy now I’ll take what sleep I can
I know that I miss you, but I don’t know where I stand”
Needless to say, that song became one of my favorites. And still, to this day, when I hear it my eyes begin to glaze over and my brain starts to turn to mush until I can find some hard object to rap my head against a few times, bringing myself back…
Hello Manicmama, I'm just checking to see if you're still out there and hope things are okay with you. I hope to hear from you soon.
Seven
Still here Seven!
Enjoying finding out that I'm not the only one with all of these feelings at the same problems!
manicmama
Seven,
I have been thinking about you a lot lately. Last week, you were very distressed after your last therapy session. When you received kind words of love from your many friends here, your whole demenor changed. You posted jokes and generaly had a good time.
This makes me wonder if maybe you should discontinue therapy, and leave that part of your life behind you and move on with your friends here. I don't know if that is the answer, but it is something to think about.
In my opinion, therapy is good for awhile, but I also believe that dredging up the past, after a certain point, can do more harm than good.
I don't know if what I am suggesting is the answer for you, but it is something to think about.
Seven,
One other thought: Please go back and reread Trevor's words again, and his own experience with analysis, and what he believes will work for you. I think he and I are saying the same thing in different ways.
