My family has known I'm an apostate

by cognac 50 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Finkelstein

  Sounds like your husband is trying to punish you for going over his power and control.

  In JW land your supposed be submissive and obedient to you're husband and all men.

  You broke away from that and now he's trying to build up something toward his own position which has been designed by the WTS.

  ...... and if your family are JWS , its not surprising he would expose your actions to them.

  Being JWS means you watch carefully what others JWS do and say, particularly when your actions are against the directives/doctrines of the WTS. leaders.

  .

  Actually your husbands tell tailing on you is building up and showing his own inherent righteous vindication and

  drawing up his own support from fellow JWS members.

  Having a wife that is NOT following in line with the power and authority of the WTS. is creating a shame upon himself in his congregation.

  .

  In any case take of yourself and don't let this intellectually immature delusional brainwashed of a husband bother you.

  Now you know why marriages when one partner is JWS and the other is not usually fail and if the Truth be told the WTS. apathetically wants them to fail.
• 

  3rdgen

  Here's a hug (((((((((((cognac)))))))))) You have every right to feel the way you do today. Trust is one of the basic requirements for a sucessful marriage. Would he consider seeing a marriage councelor with you?
• 

  maninthemiddle

  My dad did the same to my wife and I. He may be a jerk, but it is what they are taught to do.

  Certianly not everyone is this way. I don't believe my in-laws told anyone what they knew.
• 

  cognac

  Min- Thanks, maybe you are right. Maybe in a few days I'll have a clearer head about this. I'm just so damn pissed.

  Finklestein - he did say that the elders said he shouldn't feel bad for my actions. As if he did feel bad/ashamed before.

  3rdgen - thanks. I'm pretty sure I'm past trying to work it out.
• 

  OnTheWayOut

  I don't live in your situation and I can't say anything specific about your situation except that Minimus is almost certainly right that your husband went to your family in the hopes of gaining others to help you- not to hurt you.

  That said, I can tell you that my wife says nothing to the elders or my JW mother about my situation and what I am doing. If I exchange gifts with my non-JW family for Christmas and celebrate my birthday with my friends, she doesn't say anything. She absolutely knows that such a thing would be viewed by me as a betrayal of trust and could spell an end to our marriage.

  Her trust in me would mean that I would never report her to the elders either. Of course, that's easier for me. I have no contact with them and I would never turn anyone in to the elders for anything as it's something I no longer believe is helpful to anyone.
• 

  cha ching

  This is so maddening, I feel for you.

  I want to be sarcastic, and make comments like: "Oh, I feel so loved by God, and this convinces me it is the truth!" and "I think I'll start going back to meetings right now!" with a followup of: "I wonder what blackmail is?"

  The people left in are getting more and more "obedient".. How is this any different than Hitler & the Nazis?

  Make sure that you make friends with other people outside of this terribly mean organization.
• 

  minimus

  You are justified in feeling upset. The family and your husband can only see what is in front of them. Remember, these same people will die or let you die because of their incorrect view of blood. They build a support system and since you don't want to be a part of it, they will insulate themselves and treat you as an apostate and you have to know that. Understand that you only have control of your own destiny. You might think you have an upper hand but is it worth the misery?? Being treated as though you are disfellowshipped isn't fun.
• 

  Finkelstein

  cognac you never have to feel bad about what other people think or what people have been directed to think by a corrupt organization like the WTS.

  This apostate description is one designed by these corrupt men so why use that upon yourself ?

  .
• 

  cognac

  Min - I've been treated like that for awhile now. It wouldn't be much different.

  Finkelstein - what really upset me was that this was all done by a person i thought I knew over a period of years.
• 

  Finkelstein

  As if he did feel bad/ashamed before.

  Of course he probably talked to the elders with head lowered in full shame and embarrassment.

  From that event he's been motivated for some retribution, very much in connection to what I mentioned before.