Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread (page 5)

waiting

hey 7!!!!!!!!

I'm gonna figure out how to print this one out! We each at a local joint most mornings (husband has eaten there for 30 years now). Lots of men are there.

I'm going to try to show it to the women who work there - they'll looooove it.

Thanks!!!

waiting

Two guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up, taps on the window with his nightstick, the driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick.

The driver says, "Why'd you do that?

The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready."

Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."

The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean.

He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick.

The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"

The cop says,"Just making your wishes come true."

The passenger says, "Huh?"

The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say, 'I wish that sucker would've tried that shit with me!'"

Seven

These are soooo lame!!!!!!!!![8>]

Q: If there is H2O on the inside of a fire hydrant, what is on the outside?
A: K9P.

Q: What does it mean when the flag is at half mast at the post office?
A: They're hiring.

Q: What did the fish say when he hit a concrete wall?
A: "Dam."

Q: How do crazy people go through the forest?
A: They take the psycho path.

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.

Q: What kind of snack do little monkeys have with their milk?
A: Chocolate chimp cookies.

Q: What do frogs eat with their hamburgers?
A: French flies.

Q: What's the difference between a porcupine and a luxury car?
A: The porcupine has pricks on the outside.

Q: What is the difference between a tick and a lawyer?
A: A tick falls off you when you die.

Q: What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A: When you see your mother-in-law backing off a cliff in your new car.

Seven

Hey RhW, Nice neighborhood you live in.

Seven

*

BugEye

A Shit in the Ocean

THE GHOST POOPIE
The kind where you feel poopie come out, see poopie on the toilet paper, but there's no poopie in the bowl.

THE CLEAN POOPIE
The kind where you feel poopie come out, see poopie in the bowl, but there's no poopie on the toilet paper.

THE WET POOPIE
You wipe you butt fifty times, and it still feels unwiped. So you end up putting toilet paper between your butt and your underware so you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks.

THE SECOND WAVE POOPIE
This poopie happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees, and you suddenly realize you have to poopie some more.

THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE POOPIE
Also known as "Pop a Vein in your Forehead Poopie". You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke.

THE CORN POOPIE
No explanation necessary.

BugEye

THE LINCOLN LOG POOPIE
The kind of poopie that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without first breaking it up into small pieces with the toilet brush.

THE NOTORIOUS DRINKER POOPIE
The kind of poopie you have the morning after a long night of drinking. It's most noticeable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush.

THE "GEE, I REALLY WISH I COULD POOPIE" POOPIE
The kind where you want to poopie, but even after straining your guts out, all you can do is to sit on the toilet, cramped and farting.

THE WET CHEEKS POOPIE
Also known as the "Power Dump". That's the kind that comes out so fast that your butt cheeks get splashed with the toilet water.

THE LIQUID POOPIE
That's the kind where yellow-ish brown liquid shoots out of your butt, splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl, and at the same time, chronically burns your tender poop-chute.

BugEye

THE MEXICAN FOOD POOPIE
A class all it's own.

THE CROWD PLEASER
This poopie is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing.

THE RITUAL
This poopie occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper.

THE MOOD ENHANCER
This poopie occurs after a lengthy period of constipation, thereby allowing you to be your old self again.

THE GUINESS BOOK OF RECORDS POOPIE
This poopie is so noteworthy it should be recorded for future generations.

THE AFTERSHOCK POOPIE
This poopie has an odor so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected.

THE HONEYMOON'S OVER POOPIE
This is any poopie created in the presence of another person.

Waiting's Never-ending Joke Thread

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