Okay I'm trying to post a pic of l'il Henry, but I'm not sure if this is going to work:
Dangit.
Edited by - Billygoat on 19 June 2002 13:28:15
Are you socially retarded? - For the newbies
by Billygoat 70 Replies latest jw experiences
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Billygoat
((((Amanda))))
Your perspective is a good one to have AFTER you've finished healing. But minimizing one's situation BEFORE healing has begun is one way to NEVER heal. If you can be that comfortable with the loss of portions of your childhood, then you should be proud of what you've come through. I'm not there yet. There are countless others out here that need their fears, anger, and despair validated in order to pull through the healing process. I'm not minimizing what people in other countries are going through, but sometimes exJWs need to focus on themselves before they focus on others. I'm encouraging people to be a little selfish and to acknowledge their negative experiences and what it's done to them. Disregarding it out of respect for underpriveleged children in Somalia/Cuba/China, does nothing to help their personal situation. In fact, I think it could be harmful to some people.
Just my thoughts...
Andi
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Sabine
Thanks for the great post Billy!! I have often used the expression "socially retarded" to describe myself after years in the cult. I also have had to let go of extremely unrealistic expectations of how people ought to be. Trusting other people, and letting them in my life continues to be a big challenge for me.
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Southland
This post rang so true for me!
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MrMoe
Andi
Your perspective is a good one to have AFTER you've finished healing. But minimizing one's situation BEFORE healing has begun is one way to NEVER heal.
You are so very right, and perhaps I have healed. I apologize if I belittled your feelings, it is just that I do not understand what was so bad about growing up JW style. HUGS to you and KISSES for a beautiful thread I did not mean to step on... I took this to another thread because my views on this do not belong here...
Kisses,
Moe
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Xander
My healthy relationships have been deeper and a lot more fun. I find myself being kinder to strangers and more compassionate towards others that experience troublesome times.
I'd argue that being too friendly can be just as bad as the paranoia the dubs instilled. You appear to have found some good, honest, friends. Such seem to be the exception rather than the rule.
I figured they really had an ulterior motive and were not to be trusted. People werent loving and happy unless they wanted something, right?
Ummm, for the most part, YEAH, that's true. Inside the dubs or out, people's self-centered behavior doesn't change that much. You found a couple good ones - GREAT - don't assume they are the rule, however.
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teenyuck
What I always find interesting is that woman seem to respond to these types of threads. Why?
Why are the men (most) so afraid to open up?
Just an observation....seems to be this way whether you are a ex-JW or worldly man. Why can't you share your feelings? (I know many men read these threads and maybe nod. I will never understand males (most) inability to communicate their feelings. I need to read Men are From Mars.....
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joeshmoe
Andi, I haven't been stopping by the board for long, but this is far and away the most important post I've read yet. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing it. I sincerely hope I am on the road to recovery. I've only been out a month and I'm trying my best to be patient with myself while I learn how to live in the real world. Thank you again
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Billygoat
(((Amanda)))
Don't get me wrong hon. You probably had a different childhood than most of us. For many of us it was volatile and abusive. If yours was not like that, then kudos for you. I truly am glad it wasn't. When I read posts about your mother, it makes my heart ache. I wish I could have memories like you do. I truly do. But I don't. Memories about my parents include screaming, yelling, hitting, spanking, and lots and lots of hurtful sarcasm. From what I learned on this board, my childhood probably represents a more common JW childhood than yours. If all of us had parents like yours, we probably wouldn't need this online support group as much as we do.
You didn't step on my toes or my thread at all. We're all just sharing our different perspectives, right? I love you for your compassion and willingness to hold out an olive branch to others. (And sick sense of humor! ) I TOTALLY respect that and try to emulate that myself. You're loved around here dear! Remember that!
Love ya back,
Andi