by Billygoat 70 Replies latest jw experiences
Memories about my parents include screaming, yelling, hitting, spanking, and lots and lots of hurtful sarcasm.
Andi -- My childhood included these things and much much more, personal things I do not care to discuss on the board. Horrible things that I have let go, that don't bother me anymore. Why? I forgive them because they loved me and I love them. Kinda simple really. They were just a product of thier environment.
Kisses,
Moe
Hey Andi,I don`t remember seeing you at my house when I was a kid.(LOL)I guess a lot of us were raised in the same unhealthy inviroment.It takes something like the internet to bring us together and compare stories.I am begining to realize how many dub kids were raised in hell..>>>Hey MrMoe,when I was a kid I would have been happy to have beans and rice or any kind of steady food.My brother and I starved most of the time.When my brother was little he had a swollen stomach,just like you see in the pictures of starving kids in third world countrys.I was so skinny people would constantly ask if I had an illness.Relatives would complain to my parents that they were not feeding us.They would reply,oh they have plenty to eat.Usually the only time we saw any real food,was if company was comeing over,or the CO was going to stay at our house for the week.Then and only then was food unbelievably abundant.When the company or the CO was gone,so was the food.My parents were both business people,so they grabbed a bite while they were out.My parents were just not into careing for kids,and they were not poor by any means...OUTLAW
Moe, how disgustingly adult of you.
Seriously, that's wonderful. And I really can't say I've got anything but fond memories of my parents. The source of my social retardation is simply growing up a JW.
As a Witness, anything outside of the fold was ugly to me. It was different and wrong. Such bigotry! But Im fighting my JW background, slowly looking at the world through my own eyes, not the ones the society gave me. And Im learning that theres nothing so evil and ugly about creative, unique people listening to themselves and their own consciences.
So I think I'm getting there. Slowly.
Hey Xander,
There is a difference between being friendly (what you mentioned) and "kind and compassionate" (what I mentioned). I do believe as exJWs we should be very wary of people who take advantage of our vulnerability. It's happened to me many many times! But I work hard to be kind and compassionate in almost every aspect of my life. Being rude or dispassionate does my life no good whatsoever.
I do realize the friends I've found have been very unique. They are hard to find and "friend" is a word I use sparingly. I don't have a lot of friends...but the ones I do have are quality. Another though...I also believe my ability to make friends is partly resulted because I'm a pretty transparent person. I don't hide much (I couldn't if I tried!) and am honest about as much of my past as I can be. I've found that transparency attracts people because they want to be transparent too if only it wouldn't hurt them. As exJWs sometimes we have a hard time gauging what is harmful and what isn't. I'm still working on that myself.
Joeshmoe,
I'm glad you're out. Along with feelings of relief are feelings of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of being out of our "element". It's perfectly normal. It does get better. I've been out almost 12 years. I'm still trying to figure some of this stuff out with my new eyes as well. Also, Amanda is a pretty cool lady. One of these days we'll all meet.
Puffs,
There's a few fellas here. But I think it's just how men are wired. Ever read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Although there are some pretty "off" points there, some stuff is pretty on target. (At least in my experience.)
Amanda,
I'm sorry if you've gone through some of the stuff I have. I hate to hear some of the stories I read about here. I'm glad you're to the point where you've forgiven your folks. I hope to get there someday. I think you may have an advantage because you have a child of your own. I have dogs. I hear your perspective changes after you have your own kids.
(((((Outlaw))))) If you should ever come to Dallas I'll make sure you're fed well.
Hey Andi,When I grew up and got out of the house I ate very well!I became a bodybuilder and filled out to a little over 200lbs.Four years ago I went to culinary arts school and trained under an excellent french chef,I now eat quite well(LOL).I will take you up on your offer to come to Texas some day.Maybe one of your apostofests.I do love the food in Texas...OUTLAW
Edited by - OUTLAW on 19 June 2002 14:9:18
Edited by - OUTLAW on 19 June 2002 14:17:15
Billygoat you're in Dallas huh? I'm living in Valley Ranch. Cool! I gotta check out the next Apostofest out here!
BillyGoat! You have a little Henry!
I too have a Henry!...but he isn't little.
Enjoyed your story...I can see how a lot of people would relate to that.
I can understand where moe is comming from. Healing takes in a LOT of territory. We all have different situations and viewpoints about our own lives that only we can relate to. Even if two people were to live identical lives they would still each tell a different and unique story because we don't always see the same things with the same perspective. One of the best things that I learned in healing is that we can and do chose how we see things and that is probably the most valuable thing I have learned. It is incredibly powerful when you realy do understand and learn that as apposed to knowing or being consciuos it.
There were many problems in our home when we were growing up, I can't say that they were worse because of being a dub family. My father was a very roughty alcoholic by nature, if there is such a thing. Even though being in 'the troop' was not exactly a deturent to alcohol [sarcastic smile] there was quite a bit of room for a much worse and more violent household if it were not for him being more concerned about his elderhood and public appearance's. So i guess in that sense I have, IMO, a lot to be thankful about.
Forgiveness is one of the biggest keys to healing and happiness. Forgiveness of yourself included. Without it, all the bad memories well up inside, simmer and boil, explode and then continue another cycle. Without forgiveness, in my opinion, you can't ever heal.
Again, I reiterate, J-DUB parents cannot help being they way they are. I feel they are truly brainwashed, diseased in the mind. Would a parent be a bad parent if they knew better? Well, perhaps, but I tend to think they are very sick in the mind.
Would a sane person with a healthy brain molest or abuse an innocent person? No. this can be argued all day I suppose but when you come down to it, it is all about mental health. Some have it, some don't.
Amanda
OK Amanda,
I've seen several people do this and I'm just curious. Why did you switch to another login? Was it just so you don't hit your posting limit, or are you taking on a different personality (don't laugh), or what? Just curious.
Ran out of posting allowance... I have 3 nicks -- MrMoe, MrMoe 2 and MissyMoesGhost.
Kisses,
Moe
