Are you socially retarded? - For the newbies

by Billygoat 70 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  Billygoat

  Amanda,

  I agree with you to a certain extent. Yes, the WTS does brainwash some people. But I do NOT believe that ALL JWs are brainwashed. I remember walking the JW line growing up, knowing full well some of the things I taught in field service AND lived by were NOT things God would have wanted for his organization. That was as a child and as a teenager. If a child/teen can innately know stuff like that an adult is sure to know. And I believe there are more people like that than we realize. It boils down to EVERYONE is responsible for their actions. Period. I will NOT let some people off the hook for that very reason. My dad being physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually abusive to his family members is INEXCUSABLE. Working at forgiving them is a daily burden for me. I feel God allows me being angry. He allows me being depressed. He allows me sadness and despair. Why? Because He's angry, depressed, and sad over what I went through. I believe one day God will send justice upon my father. And as much as I love my father for the GOOD he DID do, I will not stand in the way of the judgement that I believe God will mete out to him someday.

  I just believe that saying a person is mentally ill or brainwashed is NOT an excuse to let someone off the hook. Love them? Yes. Forgive them? I'll try. Forget the damage they caused? Never. Forgiveness is a huge key to healing oneself. Giving a person responsibility for something they've done is also part of the process.

  Andi
• 

  MissyMoesGhost

  ((((((((((ANDI))))))))))

  just believe that saying a person is mentally ill or brainwashed is NOT an excuse to let someone off the hook. Love them? Yes. Forgive them? I'll try. Forget the damage they caused? Never.

  If you cannot forget than you cannot forgive. Forgiveness is not a requirement, but without it, I htink the healing process will never be complete.

  One thing I have learned. I have the most open heart and I won't ever harbor a grudge or feel hate. Spice and I discussed this yesterday. The only way for me to hate you is to touch my daughter. You do that and you will open the gates of hell -- and even then I will have pity on your poor misguided soul. Burn me, torch me, rip my heart in two. I will continue to lay my heart and soul on the line out of sheer faith. Perhaps this is naive of me, but I don't care. Without having an open heart you cannot feel or give love completely.

  Ignorance is never an excuse, but it helps you better understand the criminal.

  Amanda
• 

  flower

  Thanks for the post Andi. I'm exhausted emotionally right now so I cant respond properly but just wanted to say thanks. I'm definately in this category but getting better. The most frustrating thing to me is that I cant make people understand why I am like this. They just dont get it .
• 

  Xander

  Perhaps this is naive of me, but I don't care. Without having an open heart you cannot feel or give love completely

  Totally OT, but this, I think, is a most endearing attribute. I wish I could feel as you do, perhaps I could someday in different company. While not exactly holding grudges, I maintain a level of coldness you seem to have avoided.

  In any case, I think, for now, I agree with Billygoat (wow, it finally happened! - perhaps YK was right after all....)
• 

  Billygoat

  Amanda,

  Forgiving does not = forgetting.

  The man that rapes a child can be forgiven for what they do. Will that child ever forget? I hope to God NOT! That memory, as horrifying as it is, will keep that child on their toes in future dangerous situations.

  Do not think one equals the other. They do NOT. Don't be fooled.

  I will continue to lay my heart and soul on the line out of sheer faith. Perhaps this is naive of me, but I don't care. Without having an open heart you cannot feel or give love completely.

  I try as hard as I can to do this too. This practice definitely leaves us open to be harmed. But you can take precautions along the way. Forgetting is NOT one of them.

  Andi
• 

  Billygoat

  Xander,

  In any case, I think, for now, I agree with Billygoat (wow, it finally happened! - perhaps YK was right after all....)

  Why is it so hard to agree with me???

  Confused,

  Andi
• 

  MissyMoesGhost

  Xander --

  Totally OT, but this, I think, is a most endearing attribute. I wish I could feel as you do, perhaps I could someday in different company. While not exactly holding grudges, I maintain a level of coldness you seem to have avoided.

  NOt sure I have avoided it really, just cannot help it. Or even explain it really. At times, I am beyond moved by even the most simple things around me. I was not always like this, but now, I guess you could say... I have been enlightened?

  Andi --

  Forgiving does not = forgetting.

  Perception is reality.
• 

  Billygoat

  Amanda,

  Just get a dictionary. Look at the definition of both words. They are not the same thing. You do not have to do one to accomplish the other. The WTS would like you to think so, but it's not the case.

  Just so you know, I'm not trying to be argumentative, but this is my personal viewpoint. Which BTW used to be just like yours. I used to believe you couldn't forgive until you forgot. I've learned that's not the case. You can forgive without forgetting. I've also learned that forgiving is NOT an emotion NOR is it a one step action. It's a process. Sometimes you go through years of doing it before it truly kicks into a "feeling". I look at love the same way. Love isn't a feeling. Love is an action. Sometimes we show love even if we don't feel it. Warm fuzzies do NOT = LOVE.

  Andi
• 

  XandersEvilTwin

  Billy:

  No reason in particular, it just seems we have different opinions on many issues. Which is also no surprise, perhaps I just have weird opinions.
• 

  Billygoat

  XET,

  Differing opinions is totally cool. I just thought maybe you found me hard to get along with. I didn't remember ever getting into a conversation with you let alone an argument. LOL! Being a christian, I find myself with differing opinions than a lot of people here. But I still think I have a lot to learn from them AND hope to share something of value with them.

  Andi