Stealth,
Come on now, I just said that dad and I have no connection with the Jehovah's Witlesses. Quite frankly we're amazed that so many people believe a word they say.
As for the end of this system, we're just remodeling not getting rid of anything and no, it won't be coming any time soon because if you think its a pain getting someone to remodel your bathroom imagine what its like to get someone to remodel your planet.
Now, for the water into wine business. Sorry but dad took away that power after that wedding cermony I did it at. I had abused it just a little too much and while we certainly have no problem sticking certain body parts into other body parts there would be a huge population had he not done that. Sorry about that.......
I'm back!!!!!
by Jesus Christ 53 Replies latest jw friends
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Jesus Christ
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wasasister
My Sweet Lord:
It's about time you showed up. At least this should stop up the mouths of those scoffers who said you'd taken a powder.
After my dog died, and a painful bout with back-hair waxing, I regained my faith and have been waiting patiently for your return. I thought I saw you once in a cloud formation, but it turned out to be some spacey drag queen. You can't blame a girl for being eager now can you? I was taught to "be in expectation" of your return, but I gotta say, "expecting" is only supposed to last for 9 months!
But I digress. Now that you're back, are you going to start kicking pagan ass? Can we expect a violent end to: abortion doctors; Jews & Muslims; directors re-makes of classic films; child molesters hidden by outdated church policies; heavy metal/rapp; televangilists; and everything else you and I agree on?
I'm armed to the teeth and ready to swing the mace on thine enemies, Dear Lord. I've got my hip waders ready for when the streets run with their blood. This is gonna ROCK!
Your long-patient servant,
Wasasister
(edited, because even servants of the Lord make spelling errors)
Edited by - wasasister on 13 July 2002 18:2:5
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larc
Jesus, I like that Lord's prayer you gave us. I got it memorized. I came up with a shorter prayer, and I was wondering if you could run it by your Dad. Here it is: God is good; God is great! Yay God! What do you think? (I am Jesus little lamb; Jesus Christ how glad I am.)
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OUTLAW
......LOL!!..... ...OUTLAW
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butalbee
Oh for Christ sakes....
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Windchaser
Thank you, Jesus. I am so glad you are back with us. I need you! I have so many questions, but maybe I should wait for the up-and-coming, long anticipated Bible II, before I start asking.
I can see why the girls all went around you back in the year, what the hell was it? Zero? I find you very sexually stimulating. You see, I just got a pair of red shoes and I'm feeling a little warm right now. Will I be forgiven? I have often called out your name in my fits of passion. I am sooo glad that you are back. So many things I want to talk with you about.
Do I need an appointment?
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Celia
Jesus, finally, I started to have doubts about that novel by the different apostles of yours... all made up, I thought...
Now maybe you could answer a few questions :
Why don't men know how to change a roll of toilet paper ?
Why do men leave the toilet messy and don't even notice ?
Why do men climax every time and not women ?
Can you give me the 6 winning numbers for tonight's Power Ball drawing ?
Thank you in advance.
Celia
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Windchaser
Celia, me first!!!! I knew this would happen. We're just all gonna end up fighting over him and I will never get a chance.
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Imbue
Jesus Christ it's time for your medication: Zyprexa 20 mg....