Married Guyz / Extramarital "Friendships&a... (page 3)

SPAZnik

kewl, lotsa interesting replies here. please keep 'em cummin'.

Elsewhere, Yeah, that's usually the primary suspicion.

Good questions Six and larc.

Six - hm, ya know, i wuz wondering that myself. its tuff to answer that ratio thing with any real accuracy, cuz i don't always know the marital/relationship status of the person doing the hitting on.
i'd venture to say 3:1 for marrieds (or otherwise committed).

But then, (and this kinda answers larc's question in a way too) i have a tendancy these dayz to pretty much avoid singles, irl. This leaves me around the marrieds/commiteds more (i guess i thought i'd be "safer" with them...as in, there would be less chances of being hit on/ending up in a "relationship" right now LOL). (kinda what plh said, only its more of a decision than a fear right now. at least that's whut i'm tellin' myself. haha)

larc - does that answer yer question?

lol @ Pris & Beck.

SPAZ

edited cuz i fergot to address Elsewhere. oops, sorry.

Edited by - SPAZnik on 15 August 2002 3:5:17

SPAZnik

a married fellow once said to me, "what would you feel bad for? i'm the one that made the commitment. i'd be the one breaking it. if she ended up hurt it would be my fault, not yours".

another guy takes the "as long as nobody getz hurt" stance. he says "as long as 'she' doesn't find out, 'she' isn't getting hurt." from his vantage point, that's what would make it alright.

these kinds of comments get me thinkin' there are a lot of women out there that either turn a blind eye to their mates cheating or are just reeeeally gullible about it. and a lot of men, it would seem, that feel pretty secure in the thought that they won't get "caught".

or perhaps the risk is half the fun fer dem.

SPAZ

larc

SPAZ, no your comments do not answer my question. My question is, why do some single women hit on married men? I will give you an example. I have a friend who was sitting next to a woman at a bar. He struck up a conversation, and she asked if he was hittin her, and he replied that he was married, he was not hitting on her, was just starting a conversation. The next day, she called his house, and left a sexy message. Fortunately, he played it and deleted it before his wife could hear it. By the way, he had an unlisted number, but somehow she obtained it. Several months later, I was sitting at the same bar talking to my friend and this woman came in. She had radar eyes for him - unbelievable. Now, back to the generic question, why do some single woman do this? I have my suspisions, but not the answer.

Robdar

By the way, he had an unlisted number, but somehow she obtained it.

Gee, I wonder how she got it? And quick enough to call the next day. Wow all that and he never once hit on her. LMAO

larc

Robdar, I know the man very well and have observed his behaviour on many occasions, including the night I saw this woman staring at him for long periods of time, and no, he didn't hit on her.

Robdar

Larc,

You are a sweetie, but really.....do you think this guy would hit on her in front of you? Sorry, I don't believe the story went down like that. But not because I think you are a liar. I have met guys like your friend.

Robyn

Beck_Melbourne

larc:

she was at a bar, he was at a bar, he spoke to her, she flirted with him etc etc...him saying he was married is NOT going to stop her from flirting with him...being married is not a deterrent...being NOT interested is.

Sometimes people go to bars to meet people, whether married or single, doesn't matter, they just go to meet someone. Perhaps she thought thats why he was there, married or otherwise, who knows. OR, maybe she just wanted to take a bite out of someone else's apple.

Beck

larc

Robyn, I have several reasons to believe that the man didn't do the nasty deed. First off, I have known him for a very long time. I could write a long biography about him. In fact, I might just do that a bit later. Second, almost all men who do the horizontal bop, sometimes known as F-ing can not keep themselves from bragging about it. So, knowing the man, knowing men's proclivity for bragging about their conquests, and the nature of the situation he explained to me, his tone of voice, etc. led me to believe that he was hit on for no apparent reason. Now, let us get back to the basic question. Why do some single women hit on married men?

SPAZnik

larc -

that particular example sounds a lot like harmony's answers would fit. it would seem that the woman was up for a challenge. and then there is alwayz the irresistability factor. lol.
At any rate. She sounds like she wuz fixated fer sure. And pretty much fits the definition of "homewrecker" or maybe "homewrecker wannabe" for leaving a message like that at his home after he already told her he's married. Nasty.

speaking for myself...i repeat...

less chances of being hit on/ending up in a "relationship"

to elaborate...
the only cause/reason i could see for hitting on a married/committed person at this point in time, hottie factor aside, would be cuz i'm really not ready for anything serious or longterm right now. singles alwayz end up fallin' fer ya and are harder to get away from. marrieds are easier that way
(i would...um...imagine....lol). but i just don't think i could do that without guilt feelings toward the partner&kids.

as fer other women...

i haven't had a lot of women confess their extra-marital flirtations/affairs to me. though i have one woman-friend that constantly cheats on her husband and doesn't tell him. she says she feels bad about the not being honest with him part, but still she keeps doing it and of course doesn't tell him cuz she says he would be hurt.

she doesn't even seem to understand for herself, why she keeps cheating...although she has used the word "conquest" which again seems in tune with harmony's "challenge" comment. from what i know of my galpal, the "reason" she cheats is basically cuz she's pretty muddied up (confused) right now, and not all that committed anymore. i think for many people, married or single, sex is more of an escape, a drug if you will, in times of trouble.

she once had a thing with a married guy, but that wuz more him hitting on her and her not saying no. it ended in something of a sympathy romp.

(this is, coincidentally another "card" i find married guyz play.
"my wife doesn't sleep with me anymore and i don't know why")

so i guess, larc, the only other reason i could add to the commentz already made,
is perhaps she was a private eye or some other kind of decoy. or maybe she worked for the phone company. or maybe "she" was one of your friends "buddies" playing a trick on him.

SPAZ (of the "letting her imagination run amuk" klass)

Beck_Melbourne

This is so interesting, I don't want to leave to drive home.

larc: maybe your friend is one of those men that women look at and just want to bite, you know, like you I know this guy, he's got one of those gazes that makes you want to pack up your things and leave your hubby LOL...and thats with no flirting. So maybe your friend has your problem...being a 'hottie'.

SPAZ

"my wife doesn't sleep with me anymore and i don't know why"

What?? You mean he lied to me????? LOL

Beck

Edited by - Beck_Melbourne on 15 August 2002 3:39:45

Married Guyz / Extramarital "Friendships&a...

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