To spank or not to spank?

by Nowhere 119 Replies latest watchtower child-abuse

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  Nowhere

  I had a conversation with an active witness from the USA lately. And when talking about child upbringing he stated that some children need a spank sometimes. Of course I was upset because of that, and I didn't thought witnesses was that stupid. But at home again I started looking into it.

  Surprise, surprise! GB teaches that you are to spank your children (for ex. in the family book, 1996), and has constantly through the ages mocked child psychologists who said that beating your children will hurt them.

  So why haven't I heard of this? Because the version of the family book in my county differs from the English language version. Here a witness is not permitted to beat their children. And I thought that was a GB policy, but it looks like this is only because we have laws protecting the children from physical punishment.

  Am I right here? And to you who lives in USA, do you think it is right to spank your children? And what does the law in USA say about physical punishment for children?

  //Thank you
• 

  minimus

  spanking is o.k. only if both parties ....oh, never mind.
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  Cicatrix

  In the state where I live in the US, the issue was taken to court just a few years ago.The court upheld the rights of parents to use corporal punishment on their children.But they meant reasonable corporal punishment(a spanking),not beatings that leave marks on a child's body and emotions.

  There has been a bit of softening in the WTS on the issue from what I've observed over the past few years.To me, it seems that the definition of what the rod stood for has changed.It used to be spare the physical rod, spoil the child.Now we've had several convention parts explaining that shepherds don't beat their sheep with their rods, they use them to guide the sheep.

  When my children were young, a district overseer handed me a ruler and told me to use it on my children.He told me never to use my hand, as the children perceive the hand as something that gives love and tenderness.I was later chatised by the elders for not spanking my children when they became antsy at the meetings ( I would simply remove them from the main hall for a few minutes,as I realised it was far beyond the attention span of a youngster to have to stay seated for 2 hours).

  Sadly, because I grew up in a home where spanking was common, I thought that I was the one who was in the wrong, and resorted to spanking also.Looking back, I really feel that I relied on it to solve problems way too much.It really didn't solve most problems, by the way.And in reference to the hand being a loving instrument-when I think about my father whopping me with his belt,I see his arm holding onto that belt.It didn't seem like such a loving instrument to me then:)

  How do I feel about it now?I'm not really sure where I stand on the issue, but I know I don't feel the same about it as I did then. I don't spank my children now.They are older, and I find the removal of privileges to be very effective.Since I've abandoned my drill sargeant stance, I find that my kids are much more willing to do as they are asked, and they accept discipline much better when it is administered fairly and only when absolutely necessary.It also helps that I'm no longer trying to live up to some unattainable standard of perfection(so the dishes don't always get washed-so what?).

  I'm teaching them to paddle their own canoes, instead of always doing it for them:)
• 

  Elsewhere

  Very Interesting!!! The literature I have read ALWAYS claim to be in unity with the rest of the world... You know, the old saying :"The articles we are studying are also being studied throughout the world..."

  Looks like another LIE by the WTS. The GB keeps saying "Do not go beyond what is written." Looks like gauwd is afflicted with the fear of man and his laws!

  Perhaps he needs a sheparding call from some loving elders. I just hope he remembers to answer the questions VERY carefully so he does not get DFed for causing divisions!!! Hell, hes got the US beating their kids while forbidding the Brits to touch their kids. Sounds like divisions to me!

  Edited by - Elsewhere on 20 August 2002 11:1:32
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  LucidSky

  I remember reading some recent research on this from MSNBC. (Personally, it's much more fun among adults.)
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  bitter mango

  And when talking about child upbringing he stated that some children need a spank sometimes.

  i agree
• 

  closer2fine

  There are some good points made on this thread:

  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=30607&site=3
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  Nowhere

  bitter mango: "I agree"

  Do you care to tell me why you agree? Are some kids born bad? And you have to beat it out of them? While other kids are not born that bad?
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  bitter mango

  no, i don't think some kids are born bad where the hell did that come from??! i agree that sometimes a kid needs a smack on the ass to smarten up... if nothing else is working. i'd never 'hit' another person's child, but when it comes to my own, i will indeed spank them if needed. and??

  i've been spanked for being a smartass. i don't resent my mother for it. i actually learned from it. i've also been beaten beyond recognition for being a smartass. i DO resent the bitch that did this to me. and all i learned from it was hate. there is a difference between a slap on the ass and being burned with a car lighter for being 'bad'.
• 

  larc

  Nowhere, I agree with BitterMango on this one. I don't think kids are born bad, but they are different. I have two grown daughters and a grown son. I don't think my two daughters were ever touched. They were complient and wanted to please. My son was more adventsuresome and aggresive and had to be reigned in from time to time. I remember when he was a toddler, he wanted to stick his fingers between the electrical outlet and the plug for the lamp cord. I think a slap on his hand with a firm "no" was better than him being electrocuted. When he was older, he got in the habit of slapping his sisters. Nothing was getting to him, when we tryed to get him to stop. Finaly, in desperation, I slapped his face and asked him how he liked it and what he was doing to do about it? I was making the point, that he was doing this very thing to his sisters, and he should just stop it.