To spank or not to spank? (page 4)

larc

144001, I offered my rebuttal. Would you care to respond?

Personally I'm not against corporal punishment but if it comes to the point were you feal you must spank your kids to get them to do what you want, I believe they were not receiving the supervision they needed. I've seen people hit there kids for not being still or quiet. I don't know who is the bigger fool the parent of the one who tells them there kid should be still or quiet?

larc

Willy, I also ask you to read my two examples and tell me what you think. In my opinion, I had to do what I did, to "get them to do what I want." I do agree with you that is wrong to hit kids and tell them to keep quiet, very bad thing to do, in my opinion.

Nowhere

ok larc:

"I remember when he was a toddler, he wanted to stick his fingers between the electrical outlet and the plug for the lamp cord. I think a slap on his hand with a firm "no" was better than him being electrocuted."

I too think a slap at the hand is better than being electrocuted. But I do not think it's the best solution though. What is the lesson for him? I can't put my fingers in the outlet, because if I do, my dad will slap me?

"When he was older, he got in the habit of slapping his sisters. "

Now where did he got that nasty habit?

"Nothing was getting to him, when we tryed to get him to stop. Finaly, in desperation, I slapped his face and asked him how he liked it and what he was doing to do about it?"

What a great example! You slap him and tells him not to slap anyone? This upsets me! You are the adult here, and you lower yourself to slap a child?

larc

Nowhere, I do not understand your answer to the electical outlet example. He was not old enough to understand the consequences. I suppressed his behavior until he was old enough to understand the danger. Now, how would you handle a boy that is slapping his younger sister's? He needed a little insight, and I gave it to him. I might add, those are only times I resorted to such discipline. My son is an adult and he does not seem to be scared by these two experiences.

TresHappy

Does anyone remember the JW conventions of years past? Remember those kids being beaten in the bathroom for just being a kid who didn't want to sit for HOURS on end and take in that "spiritual food." I remember one time I was in the bathroom and the woman in the next stall was beating the you know what out of her child. I remember I heard one, then two, then three, then four, then five swats and this mother was way out of control. I yelled to her - whoever is beating their kid, if I hear one more swap I am calling CPS. Guess what...she stopped.

Since I don't have kids of my own, I cannot comment on what I would do. However, I used to swat my nieces and nephews if they were in my care and only if it were a last resort. My stepson is a good kid, although I swatted him w/my hand a few times. I regret that I didn't put the discipline over to his father, my husband. Now my stepson is 12 and getting to be a teenager and kind of sassy, I just let his father take over the discipline, if necessary. Actually he's a very compliant child, and I feel fortunate, because I could have gotten the stepchild from you know where.

Nowhere

"Now, how would you handle a boy that is slapping his younger sister's? He needed a little insight, and I gave it to him."

I don't wan't to be stuck in an argue over what the best solution is, only to hear I don't know what I'm talking about or that I don't know what's best for your kids. I do not know what's best for yor kids. But I do know that violence isn't going to solve world's problem. You can get upset or mad or whatever you want, but I don't think you have to lower yourself that much and slap him in the face. Didn't you felt sorry for doing that afterwards?

"My son is an adult and he does not seem to be scared by these two experiences."

That's good. But other kids will get hurt, because ther parents spank them. There is a reason spanking is forbidden where I live. And it is not bible-based.

larc

Nowhere, I think you are mixing up spanking with beating, and the over use of spanking with the occasional use when nothing else is working.

willy_think

I remember when he was a toddler, he wanted to stick his fingers between the electrical outlet and the plug for the lamp cord. I think a slap on his hand with a firm "no" was better than him being electrocuted. [quote]
it would depend on timing if it was wile he was tucking it the kid would equate the outlet and plug with pain i believe it would be affective. but if you called him to you and waited till he got to you, it would likely loose it's effectiveness if i caught him in the act i would otherwise no i wouldn't.
[quote] he got in the habit of slapping his sisters. Nothing was getting to him

I'm probably the odd man out on this one, I'm not against siblings fighting each other, I'm against siblings not fighting for each other when one is in trouble i would tell the boy that hitting is fighting and when you fight you get hit, so hit only when you want to fight. i would ask the girls why they let him hit them? i would ask the one who was not hit why she let someone hit her sister? I'd tell them when there is no grownup there to protect you need to protect your self and each other. How many times do you think a kid will hit, if he gets beet down every time he does it? I know I'm horrible. you need to be really careful if you hit a little kid in the face, I wouldn't.

willy_think

hi, Larc

I remember when he was a toddler, he wanted to stick his fingers between the electrical outlet and the plug for the lamp cord. I think a slap on his hand with a firm "no" was better than him being electrocuted.

it would depend on timing if it was wile he was tucking it the kid would equate the outlet and plug with pain i believe it would be affective. but if you called him to you and waited till he got to you, it would likely loose it's effectiveness if i caught him in the act i would otherwise no i wouldn't.

he got in the habit of slapping his sisters. Nothing was getting to him

I'm probably the odd man out on this one, I'm not against siblings fighting each other, I'm against siblings not fighting for each other when one is in trouble i would tell the boy that hitting is fighting and when you fight you get hit, so hit only when you want to fight. i would ask the girls why they let him hit them? i would ask the one who was not hit why she let someone hit her sister? I'd tell them when there is no grownup there to protect you need to protect your self and each other. How many times do you think a kid will hit, if he gets beet down every time he does it? I know I'm horrible. you need to be really careful if you hit a little kid in the face, I wouldn't.

To spank or not to spank?

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