To spank or not to spank? (page 11)

LB

All right you two. I have a strap and a temper.

144001

LB,

If you were female, maybe I'd take you up on that offer! el O el

I do not believe children are born barbaric. I believe they are what we raise them to be. Children do need guidance and discipline but it doesnt have to involve hitting. Like Teejay, I also watched and continue to watch my mother live with abuse. Not that Im judging anyone but I personally cannot bring myself to hit my kids. I guess I basically dont want to hit people that I love.

144thousand_and_one

Very well put, Heaven!!! You are obviously a very special person!

nilfun

I could never bring myself to hit my children, either. I remember feeling humiliated whenever I was hit, no matter what amount of force was behind the blow, no matter if a hand, belt, ruler, whatever was being used. It did not teach me anything except that people who love you hit you. And fear. although I was taught this was a 'healthy fear' whatever that means. But being non-violent, I would never try to force anyone to walk my path. This is just how I feel, though it pains me to know that many children are being taught that hitting and love go hand in hand.

RandomTask

Are those who choose to spank their kids terrible people?

I don't have children so I am not in a position to say whether I think it is right or wrong, but do some of you consider any amount of spanking to be abuse? I know I was spanked when I was a child, but my mother always had a saying: "The first slap is for the child, the second is for the parent" SO when she spanked us it would be one slap, usually on the leg with a plastic cooking spoon and then sent to our room or to the corner for a time out.

I don't believe my mother abused me by spanking but I have seen other children who were actually beat by their parents for punishment and I considered that abuse. What I am trying to say is that I think there is a line that can be drawn between a justified spanking as punishment and physical abuse.

plmkrzy

Random task

What I am trying to say is that I think there is a line that can be drawn between a justified spanking as punishment and physical abuse.

I agree with you.

My children got slapped on the hand when they were toddlers if they failed to respond to "no"

They were far from being abused by it. They were also able to go into stores and peoples homes and not terrorize the poor homeowners or store clerks.

My boy's were and are very well mannered and polite and respectful of other people and I couldn't be more proud of them.

I never experienced the temper tantrums I see so many other parents going through out in public places and at home with their kids who are literally running over them and everyone else in site.

It is abusive to allow children to grow up with out respect.

After my boy's were past the toddler stage and the really rambunchus stage they never needed a spanking. All I needed to do was explain to them this or that was not to be touched and they were NOT cooperating out of fear of persecution.

I could tell my kids not to dart out in the street because it's dangerous and they were old enough to understand and didn't need to be spanked. If a ball rolled out into the street let it go we can get a new ball. That makes sense to a 5 year old but not a 2 year old.

And calling Larc a barbarian is a bit radical he didn't deserve that, thats pretty sad. I do not agree with slapping someone in the face but none of us were there and to call someone a barbarian for speaking publicly of an incident is a bit ridicules.

plum

Solace

Random, Of course I dont think people who spank their kids are terrible. I do think that the parent and the child usually both feel terrible when and after it happens.

1441, No, I am not perfect. I have swatted my son on the behind a time or two, only to have him hit me back. It was a huge reality check for me. I really think violence breeds violence. I would never judge anyone but I do get a little upset when I see a child being hit, especially in their face. A slap on the bottom, when they are wearing a diaper, isnt as painful but I think they can still learn the behavior.

144001

Plmkrzy: Apparently you didn't read the entire thread before you passed judgment on me. If you don't think Larc deserved what he got, then you obviously have a bias in his favor.

Heaven: None of us are perfect, and I don't begrudge parents who use extremely moderate physical punishment as part of their discipline system. My comments to Larc were primarily motivated by anger over his namecalling early in this thread (i.e. he referred to me as a "prick" without any provocation - merely because I advocated a non-violent approach to discipline)

Larc: I'm not sure why you were so hostile to me; if you reread the posts I made prior to you calling me a "prick," you will find that I never said anything that was disrespectful to you. Once the first punch is thrown, however, don't expect me to turn the other cheek. However, I don't hold grudges, and I wish you well.

mevirginia: I hate to say it, but you really are a bi$%h. You never apologized for insinuating that Nowhere had mental issues merely because he disagreed with your opinion. Instead, you denied the irrefutable. When I confronted you on this issue, among other things, you stated your opinion that I seemed to be "the most potentially violent person in this thread." Do you always make false and outrageous accusations against those who disagree with you? Maybe instead of studying psychology, you ought to go see a psychologist yourself?

mevirginia

mevirginia: I hate to say it, but you really are a bi$%h. You never apologized for insinuating that Nowhere had mental issues merely because he disagreed with your opinion. Instead, you denied the irrefutable

144001

You never apologized. You are the one who made all the innuendos not I.

You are the one who has been doing all the lying and side stepping and twisting and projecting yourself onto me.

You need to apologize. Just swallow you ego for a moment and do it. If not leave me alone with your abusiveness.

I do not particularly care for really abusive people, I have had quite enough of that to last a life time thank you anyway.

so I will be ignoring you from now on.

To spank or not to spank?

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