by Beck_Melbourne 57 Replies latest social family
I still say::::: HELL NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
What's the purpose of him sleeping over?
What do you think a teenage boy thinks about ALL the time?
Would you really not be woried about what could happen in the middle of the night?
I'm a father to a couple of girls.
I can just imagine them asking me if a boyfriend could sleep over.
HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!
neyank
I'm grateful this thread is still going...I am still having these thoughts (no not impure thoughts Francois, well not quite...bttt) I am still thinking on the subject a lot...and yes Europe I have talked to my daughter about this subject, and we had closure on it (for now at least) just yesterday.
We had one of the most serious chats again on the subject...I told her how I felt, my main emotion on the subject is fear. Fear that she may:
* have sex without a condom because of the safety of the pill
* have sex in unsafe and dangerous places and endanger herself
* develop loose morals and not be selective
* EXPECT to have the freedom to have the boyfriend sleep over
The outcome was very good. My kids respond well to honesty. I believe in setting fair and reasonable boundaries....and I am a practicer of communicating my concerns, fears and reasons for the boundaries, rather then just saying No. The result was, I didn't have to say 'No'...she has decided that its not appropriate behaviour to have the boyfriend sleep over in her room due to the younger kids in the house...and she is happy to keep things as they are, whereby her boyfriend visits during the day, they play music, read, do homework etc, but the door stays open at all times. When they go out together at night, as young people do, she will keep her wits about her, remember my fears and hopefully be safe and careful.
Beck
Let him stay over, feed him lots of beer then he will pass out, then there will be now sex! OR
Let him stay over get her on the pill and insist he wear a condom regardless!
Beans
Canadian Overbeer
Its up to you if you let him spend the night but remember the pill is not an immediate fix and she will have to use condoms (which she should anyways) for at least two months before they fully kick in to prevent pregnancy. Also everytime you change birth control pills you are suppose to use condoms for two months. I know so many people who forget these simple rules and oops they get pregnant.
Hey Beck:
I'd say u already won the major part of the battle in this regard.
IMO, it's more important that ur daughter be upfront about whether or not she's havin sex in the first place. That way u can futher educate her about what she's gettin herself into and make sure she has adequate protection. That's really all u can do because like it or not even youngsters have sex whenever or wherever the mood suits em. Once they start down that road it's largely up to them and like Francoise said you will simply wear urself out trying to control the sexual habits of another person.
The most important thing is communication, imo. If u keep her comfortable talking ot u, she'll keep u informed of what's goin on. The good and the bad.
ONE....
bigboi
Beans, you can never tell. When I was that young, too much beer might make it never come up. Sometimes, however, too much beer made it never go down. I prayed for those.
francois
Hi Beck. What you feel you should do about your daughter is your business, but allow me to share a story with you. I am a mother of 6, 2 girls and 4 boys. My daughter is also 17, and we were faced with the exact same situation. This boy is very respectful and was also friends with my 20 year old son. We did allow him to stay the night on several occasions in the family room on the couch. However, I did not realize that my daughter was sneaking down in the middle of the night to see him. She is now 7 months pregnant with his child. So my advice to you would be to make sure she is having protective sex until she gets on the pill. I have found that being open and honest with kids is the best way yo deal with it. Just food for thought thats all.
mamashel
mamashel
Thanks for sharing your experience with me. I hope your daughter is well and the pregnancy is going okay. I know this is not the ideal situation, but it does happen...teenage pregnancy isn't the end of the world...even though it isn't our first choice for our kids.
I have sort of anticipated how I would react if this happened to my daughter...but I'm hoping, like you say, that communicating openly may help me to teach and guide her, and possibly avoid a pregnancy or a STD. Thanks for your advice on this one. Please email me if you want to talk privately on this subject, ie. the pregnancy and how you feel about it, and how you are coping etc.
Thanks to all for your thoughts...even the beer suggestion LOL.
Beck
