Totally happy in your marriage?

by Lost Diamond 63 Replies latest social family

  • imissthedub
    imissthedub

    Hi!

    Yes, people can stay happily married. Dave and I have been married for 29 years. I married him when I was 17 and he was 22. We were engaged at Christmas of my senior year and married in June. I always knew he was my soulmate, from the first time he kissed me. I started dating at 13 and had kissed other guys, but the first kiss told me. In fact, when I was 5 I walked up to my mom and said "When I grow up, I will marry a David" She asked why I thought that and I said "I don't know why, I just know."

    We did not do things by "the rules". We choose to marry young, even though everyone said it would not work out to do so. We knew we did not want kids, so one of us was sterilized. Have not regretted that for even one day. We did not buy a home until I was almost 30, and then we did it backwards....buying a lakehome for weekends and retirement. After 10 years, we sold it and bought a house in the city where we work. It may not have been how most couples do it, but we followed OUR desires, not theirs.

    Neither of us had sex til each other (of course I was still young and was after him all the time to "do it" and finally he did a week before my 16th birthday). Before we did it we prayed to God and asked him to marry us then. I believe He did. We used birth control always, even though all kinds of friends were not.

    Then, when I turned 45 I went nuts. My hormones were CRAZY. I wanted sex all the time, about 3 or 4 times a day. Now Dave was 50 and he could make love once a day but I knew that was even unusual for a 50 year old, so I did not want to hurt his feelings and tell him I wanted more. So, dumb me, I started an internet affair. With a dub. And, no, I don't miss him anymore, but I did when I took this name. This site helped me quite a bit.

    My husband stuck with me even though I told him I loved both him and the dub. It ended and took alot of therapy for me to get my head back together. There was some real lying and emotional abuse that took place. My husband never left me and talked to me as much as I needed about this person. To this day, I cannot believe his strength through it. He is the strongest, most faithful person I know.

    He is honest, funny, handsome, my best friend and GREAT in bed. Also, he knows what stupid decisions I can make and still he loves me. ROFL.

    And, let me tell you....I am now 47 and our sex life ROCKS. Oh my God......I liked sex before but this? This is to die for. We are totally comfortable with whatever the other wants, including dressing up in costumes (like a cowboy and saloon girl, etc) but WE DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH OTHERS OR INCLUDE OTHERS. Now, I am not saying maybe others can't do this and be happy, but we could not. Someone asked though, how sex is when you hit middle age.....baby....you don't really know HOW to do it until 45!

    I thank God that Dave stayed with me AND that I did not actually meet this other person. He was a liar and a coward. Was married and lied about that, too, even when I ended up in hospital almost dead, he kept up the charade and even called me there. He was a witness from Columbia, TN. I won't name names but if anyone is from there, you probably know who the most charming man in your Hall is and also the biggest liar. I did end up calling his wife. Many of you will think that was wrong, but you don't know all the details. This man had to be stopped. Now, if she stays it is she that is the fool, not I.

    Marriage for me has been a fantastic journey, and I took a wrong turn, but got back on the right path before the Big Bad Wolf actually got to get into my, ummm,,,,,picnic basket. lol

  • mamashel
    mamashel

    I do believe in soulmates. And i do believe i have found mine. I am happy now after 10 years. We are at a totally different level now, and it is wonderful. I told him i just learned how to tolerate him thats all. Just kiddin. He is the love of my life. It took a long time to find the right one.

    And the best and most important thing is that I told him I couldnt stand him as a witness, he is so much sweeter not being a jw. Imagine that.

    mamashel

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Makena, can I ever look you in the eye again?? I know WAYYY more about you two than I ever thought about before. Too funny!!

  • jack2
    jack2

    The state of my marriage breaks down into neat little time periods:

    First 6 years - happy

    Following 14 years - unhappy

    Past 2 years - basically happy

    So overall, while I am not "blissfully happy" I am basically happy, or at least "comfortable", and really have no reason to complain a lot or try to find someone else.

    Edited by - jack2 on 20 September 2002 12:28:17

  • NeonMadman
    NeonMadman

    After 23 years of misery with my JW ex-wife, I'm now totally, thoroughly, completely happy with my second wife (who was also my high school sweetheart before I became a JW). The only good thing that came out of my first marriage is that I have a terrific daughter.

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    I have to say I am totally happy with my husband. He wasn't raised a JW, but was raised in a very strict Christian household, so he knows how it is. He and I share the same sick sense of humor and we really LIKE each other. We always have a lot of sarcasm going on with each other.. and we like it. I like him alot. If I wasn't married to him, he'd be someone that I would gravitate towards. We are both very committed in our marriage; he believes that married for life, is for LIFE and so do I. We have problems sometimes, but we get over it and work through it. Divorce hurt BOTH of us. His parents were divorced and I thiunk that hurt him alot, although he doesn't admit it. My parents are still married, but they aren't very happy. She's a special pioneer and he's a Greek Orthodox. Go figure.

    Country Girl

  • Witch Child
    Witch Child

    I am so utterly happy it almost scares me.

    My sweet vampire is my dreams made flesh. There is no doubt in my mind we are meant for each other. He believes this too and says with wonder; "why do people always say relationships are so much work?"

    grinning Witch

  • JT
    JT

    If you are shallow, and if sex is all about 'looks', then you will find yourself very disatisfied in your older years.

    If sex for you is NOT about looks, things will be fine no matter what age you are...keeping 'things' in working order is another thing entirely.

    Beck

    #########

    all i can say is U GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

    as the kids in the Hood would say: "TRUE DAT"

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    Totally happy in your marriage?

    Yep. And I don't deserve her either. She's a better wife than I am a husband. With all the heartaches of my life, I will be eternally grateful to God for giving me this woman.

    Luv ya Nina.

  • Lost Diamond
    Lost Diamond

    How sweet all of you are! You're making me feel all mushy inside.....I'm really happy for all of you. It give me hope. After leaving an abusive relationship (marriage), it's really positive to see that there are those that have treated each other with love, respect, appreciation and kindness. I was beginning to think that real love between two partners is all fantasy and you just have to put up with what you have. I like to hear that there really is such a thing as a happy marriage. I thought my parents were the only ones that knew the secret.

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